Why do men rarely approach me? What am I doing wrong?

[mikadoo]

Basically men only stare. When i stare them back to show im interested they just look the other way or don't seem to get the hint. The few that approach me always send their friends to ask for my ig so it's not like i could talk to them cause the guy in question always run away so that i can't see him. And sometimes it seems like they don't want me to know i like them so they do stuff like decline my following request and stuff after their friends asked me out for him.

Physically i'm a weak 5'3, i'm underweight with curves (body wise i really look like Tyla with a bubble butt) and facially i look like Samantha Logan. I got lean muscles so i don't think i look that bony (tho ik men don't like really skinny women). My skin color is darker than hers but i'm a light skin black women (i'm a bit lighter than Tyla)

Personality wise i'm not really social, i only talk to the same few friends at school. Rarely will i talk to other men so i don't know if they think i'm in a relationship. But yeah i don't look unavailable in my opinion. Only had 1 male friend and he's ignoring me now so we don't talk anymore.

Since i'm short, skinny with a baby face i don't think intimidation is the answer. If anything i've heard more men trying to put me down, make fun of me, blatantly ignoring me when talking to them etc than men actually expressing interest in me (never a man told me that he likes me in my life even). I'm staring to think i'm ugly and undesirable. I'm turning 18 in a few months and didn't even have my first kiss nor a talking stage. Do men just don't want me?

[Fireguy17]

It could be your body language is keeping them away.
The fact that you stare back at them might be something they misinterpret.
Try a nod and a smile.
The fact that you say you aren't social probably doesn't help the cause.
On the plus side you are young, I have tyres on one of my cars that sadly are way older than you, so as you get older things will change.
Remember, guys mature a couple two, three years behind females and some of us never grow up.
So technically you are dealing with 14,15 year olds.
Just be cognizant of how you present yourself, maybe work on being more social, smile and say hi, if there is a guy you like walk past him, stop turn and just say I like your cologne and walk away.
Yes your heart will be pounding away, no one can see it, but start with baby steps.
Remember everyone poops, we are no different than the most famous person on the planet.
You will develop with age, so yes it seems like an eternity, but you will.
Nature has a way of working things out.

[RingOfFire]

I don't think you can conclude that men aren't interested in you from everything that you've said.

First of all about your appearance. Lots of men like skinny women, trust me on that. Don't believe everything you see in the media about what men like. I have always been attracted to thin women. It's very attractive so don't worry about that. And you sound really cute. Guys like that too.

From reading what you wrote it sounds like you have a wonderful personality. You sound very humble and very aware of details which shows that you are the kind of person that cares about things and guys like that. It's attractive.

You are very young. You've got lots and lots of time to find the special guy. Boys at your age are very immature and what you describing exposes that even more. Guys are sending a friend to get your contact information? That's just childish stuff.

I'm guessing that you're not doing anything wrong. You just haven't come across the guy who appreciates you yet. And that's the only guy that counts. Have patience, enjoy your life with your family and friends and when the time comes the right guy will come along when you least expect it and everything will work out.

[Anonymous]

Because you aren’t dealing with men, you’re dealing with inexperienced teenage boys. I’m not speaking for every guy, there are plenty of dudes who provided for themselves in high school and took on adult responsibilities. But in most cases you’re dealing with boys living with their parents, provided for by their parents, clueless to dealing with girls and they get dating advice from the worst sources — their teenage peers. Then those peers are also having their first encounters with girls/dating so it’s like the blind leading the blind lol.

[DishLady]

1. You’re not supposed to stare back. Just glance a little to acknowledge them and they usually come up to you.

2. You’re coming across as too intense or intimidating somehow. Next time you’re in the situation check on your behavior. Soften it a little. (Short/petite girls tend to act too tough and it’s a turn-off for some guys.)

3. You’re still SUPER YOUNG to be thinking nobody wants you. Wait a bit… college is around the corner.

[Chazmatazz269]

You’re a child. You should be interested in boys, not men. If that’s what you meant, then you should know that you didn’t say you smile when you “stare back”. People who stare and don’t smile look like psychopaths. And they usually only attract other psychopaths.
Remember that if a guy stares at you and doesn’t smile. Sometimes his brain just shuts off because his body is only equipped with enough blood to function one head at a time. Sometimes he’s a psychopath. It’s on you to figure out which before you end up caged in his basement, or something bad happens. Ell oh ell!

[loveslongnails]

I think you mean "why don't BOYS approach you?" In your age group, you're not meeting "men" yet. You answer your own questions, do you realize that?
* You don't like how you look (weak, skinny, baby faced,),
* You're not a social person and stick to a small group of people,
* You project a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem because of those things
* You're letting that become a self-fulfilling prophecy that keeps feeding on itself

Interacting with boys your age is definitely awkward. Most of them are going to be hormonal jerks, but the few who aren't are probably doing the same thing you are, hovering in the shadows. Put yourself out there to someone you're interested in. So what if you get rejected or he gets scared and doesn't know what to do? You're turning 18 soon, and life is full of those situations. You get up and you keep going. The more confident you are, the more you'll be like a magnet to both good and bad!

[tzdc21]

Let me just tell you right now, that staring tactic you do, ditch it all together. Too many women use this thinking it's an obvious sign of attraction and interest when in truth it's not. Guys don't do well with hints. In fact we actually hate them. We prefer you be up front and honest with us. So I suggest you find new and more BLATANTLY obvious signs that you're interested in him. This would include simply asking him out or telling him he's attractive. There's more but those are just two examples. Because staring at him isn't gonna do anything for you.

[LiamJHayden]

A lot of guys have gotten the message from some women of "Leave me alone." and have assumed that rejection is universal. Also, in your age group, the COVID Pandemic took away a big part of the "I like girls now" formative years of younger guys so they might be less capable than guys who did not lose out like that.

"Personality wise I'm not really social"

That can be part of the issue, especially in a climate created by my first point. You might have to take the initiative.

[Daniela1982]

Oh yeah - leave me alone card.

[Ms_Facesitter]

If they stare they are usually interested. But men can be socially awkward too. And nothing will happen between two socially awkward people. They just steal glances and that's it. If you want the truth... you have to go up to a guy you like and talk. I know it's out of the comfort zone, but if you Really want to know if men want you or not, you have to get out there and make something happen.

[Daniela1982]

Is this you? That might explain it.

[dustybiker2]

Men won't. Not unless programmed that way, such as men from large families or have been in group activities such as sports are usually easier going and approachable.
So you see someone you like, be the one to approach them.

[ProbablyClueless]

A lot of guys simply don't approach anymore. We've seen, heard, and experienced too many situations where women give us some royal "fuck off" energy, so a lot of us don't bother to avoid making women uncomfortable.

[northerngal]

Well to be frank... if you are 17... most of the males you encounter are probably boys not men. Boys tend to be awkward around girls. Most have no real clue how to approach a girl much less a woman. Give em a few more years...

[Friendlybro79]

Your 17 turning 18 this is probably why. You're still so young. It's ok to approach someone too. Everything will be fine and ignore people who have bad comments or are mean.

[Surely]

If you are only 17.. You are too young to be flirting with men. And probably are too mature to be dating boys your own age. Enjoy your teenage years and be a nice and respectful young woman.

[Kayleigh2007]

#MeToo went crazy (it's important), but girls act wacked, these days. smh

[blueonblack22]

You are dealing with teenage boys who are most often clueless on how to best go about this.

[Dongie]

In this day. I hear how the men are wanting Asians because they are treated much kinder. The way women here used to be a few decades ago.

[Nifrayu]

It seems to me that you also only stare and you aren't approaching them. What are they doing wrong?

[es20490446e]

Just talk to people in a friendly manner, and keep it rolling.

[Iron_Man]

Because you’re too young yet you’re not even 18

[Loner111]

Men r terrified to approach women due to everything being considered Harassment and inappropriate.

U should approach them.

[Anonymous]

"When I stare at the all they do is stare back".😆😆😆

You're emotionally unavailable. Of course guys are going to avoid you.

[Staximus]

If you're taking about actual men and not teenagers, they probably don't want to go to jail

[Tiger288]

They don't want to get involved metoo movement that my guess

[In_Trance]

You've pretty much answered your own question

[mickeysmonkey]

Guys your age are usually shy and, or immature