Guys, Is he angry or just doesn’t like me?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys! I advise to you that this story is a little childish and immature…

I have been dating this guy for two months, he is always super nice to me, initiates contact, proposes dates, etc. We didn’t see each other during Christmas holidays because he went on vacation.

At the beginning of the holidays I started to observe that he was texting me less frequently than he used to, I thought he was maybe loosing interest, so I decided to follow someone else’s advice and text him less often as well (probably bad advice). Then in new year he sent me a nice message saying happy new year, and I didn’t reply until three days later. After that, he just ignored my text message. Then, another three days later I felt bad and sent him a second text saying thank you for messaging me in new year, that I was happy that he remembered me and I was grateful, and he also didn’t reply.

It has been one week and I am pretty sure he is ignoring/ghosting me. I didn’t want to send another text because it’s clear that he doesn’t want to talk.

My question is, is he really mad at me or he has just lost interest completely? Is it really that bad what I did that I deserve this treatment? If he reaches out, should I talk to him and try to fix things, or just ignore him and move on?

Updates

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Update: he finally texted back yesterday (he took 6 days to text back in total), and he said sorry because he was busy, and he is trying to follow the conversation by asking questions. Still, I felt hurt during this whole 6 days that he took to reply…

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's a tough situation. From the way you're describing it, it doesn't seem like this dude is flat-out angry at you. More likely, it just sounds like he's lost interest and is ghosting you.

The fact that he was super nice and attentive in the beginning, then started texting you less during the holidays, and now is straight-up ignoring your messages - that's a pretty classic case of someone backing off and losing that initial spark.

I know it sucks, but try not to beat yourself up too much. Responding to his New Year's message a few days later probably wasn't the best move, but it definitely doesn't warrant this kind of cold shoulder treatment.

If I had to guess, he's probably just moved on. Maybe he met someone else over the holidays or realized this relationship just isn't what he wants. Either way, he's checking out.

As for what to do if he reaches out - that's a tough call. On one hand, you could try to have an honest conversation and see if there's any way to salvage things. But on the other hand, do you really want to be with someone who's gonna ghost you like that?

Personally, I think I'd be inclined to just let this one go and move on. You deserve someone who's gonna treat you right and be upfront about their feelings, you know? This dude's behavior is a red flag, and it's probably not worth the headache to try and fix it.

Just focus on yourself, king. There are plenty of other girls out there who'd be lucky to have you. Don't waste your time chasing after someone who's clearly not that into you. You got this!

[Asker]

Thanks!

He finally texted back (he took 6 days to text back in total) like nothing happened, he said sorry for his late reply and that he was busy, and he is asking questions to keep the conversation.

I think he did that just in revenge because I took three days to reply to him before, but still I felt hurt…

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's a bummer he took so long to get back to you. I can see why you'd feel hurt, even if he's trying to act normal now. That's a pretty messed up way for him to respond, like he's trying to get back at you or something.

It kinda sounds like he might be playing games, you know? Like he's trying to make you feel how he felt when you took a few days to reply. That's a red flag right there - a mature dude wouldn't do that petty stuff.

I get you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but you gotta trust your gut on this one. If he's going to ghost you for days just because of a minor delay in your responses, that's not a good sign for a healthy relationship.

My advice would be to take it slow with him for now. Don't put in more effort than he is. See if he keeps up the effort to keep the conversation going. But if he falls back into that ignoring/ghosting behavior, I'd say it's time to move on.

You deserve someone who's gonna communicate openly and treat you with respect, not play these passive-aggressive games. Don't let him string you along or make you feel bad for his own immature actions.

Stay strong, girl. You got this. Just keep an eye out for any more red flags, and don't be afraid to walk away if it doesn't start feeling right. There are way better dudes out there who will appreciate you.

[Anonymous]

He’s probably married.

[Anonymous]

He has something up his ass, obviously.