What does he mean by his behavior towards me?

[PinkieD]

Updates

1 y

explanation in the comment. it's for a long time

[Abbycado]

XD how should we know? You give zero context what the behavior even is!

[PinkieD]

Sorry, I am new here 🤷‍♀️
We are both in a relationship, but something has drawn us together since the first time we met at work. Common topics and interests, so a colleague also became a personal trainer. I work out 3 times a week and we also meet at work, where we have coffee together or just talk about everything.

[PinkieD]

We write to each other almost daily, we share photos of secluded cabins where we would like to get away from it all. We wrote messages that suggested something more than a friend, especially hints that we would miss him and that things had "moved somewhere" since the first time we met.

[PinkieD]

Morning and evening messages too, sometimes he first, sometimes I first. When he is away from home, he talks more, when my partner is not home we can also call each other. Once we went inline skating together after work, then we wanted to go hiking together twice, which he couldn't do because of work obligations. He always apologized.

[PinkieD]

Later he started touching me more on my sides, arms, back, he patted my thigh a few times, I did the same, but more carefully. Drinking coffee is our time almost after every training and also at work. The topics of our conversations deepened, including about my relationship problems and that's why he doesn't like my partner. The coach has a partner 20 years younger than him, but he doesn't want children anymore and therefore he knows that the relationship with her is not permanent.

[PinkieD]

After one training session, he invited me to lunch. The next day he received a Christmas present from me and immediately asked for "at least a hug" and we kissed on the cheek. After another training session, I received a gift from him. Then he wanted to take me from the gym to the car, when we were sitting in his car, he wanted to wish me a happy new year and then he leaned towards me and I felt like he wanted to kiss me. I kissed him on the cheek because I was a little scared and put my arm around his neck.

[PinkieD]

We haven't had a chance to be alone since then, but I feel like it's my turn now. His partner was at training today and he stroked her so nicely that it makes me sad. Is this a sign that he wants to be more than a colleague, coach and friend? I apologize for my bad English, I speak only a little. We send each other photos of our lives, sometimes with our legs spread out while relaxing, but not intimately.

[Abbycado]

So you are essentially both willing to cheat or at least headed that way?

[PinkieD]

I want to leave my partner, he is divorced and has a girlfriend who, according to him, he can send back to his parents at any time.

[Abbycado]

So your partner has a girlfriend too? Geez! I think you need to find a way less messier situation. Don’t facilitate this other guy to cheat.

[PinkieD]

more precisely I (36) am married. He (48) is divorced and has a young girlfriend (27). Yes, it is complicated, so I don't know what to do with this situation and how to explain it. Even today at work we met at least for a quick coffee to see each other.

[Nikki1989]

Need more context.

[PinkieD]

I explained above in the answer

[PinkieD]

Sorry, I am new here
We are both in a relationship, but something has drawn us together since the first time we met at work. Common topics and interests, so a colleague also became a personal trainer. I work out 3 times a week and we also meet at work, where we have coffee together or just talk about everything. We write to each other almost daily, we share photos of secluded cabins where we would like to get away from it all. We wrote messages that suggested something more than a friend, especially hints that we would miss him and that things had "moved somewhere" since the first time we met. Morning and evening messages too, sometimes he first, sometimes I first. When he is away from home, he talks more, when my partner is not home we can also call each other. Once we went inline skating together after work, then we wanted to go hiking together twice, which he couldn't do because of work obligations. He always apologized.

[PinkieD]

Later he started touching me more on my sides, arms, back, he patted my thigh a few times, I did the same, but more carefully. Drinking coffee is our time almost after every training and also at work. The topics of our conversations deepened, including about my relationship problems and that's why he doesn't like my partner. The coach has a partner 20 years younger than him, but he doesn't want children anymore and therefore he knows that the relationship with her is not permanent. After one training session, he invited me to lunch. The next day he received a Christmas present from me and immediately asked for "at least a hug" and we kissed on the cheek. After another training session, I received a gift from him. Then he wanted to take me from the gym to the car, when we were sitting in his car, he wanted to wish me a happy new year and then he leaned towards me and I felt like he wanted to kiss me. I kissed him on the cheek because I was a little scared and put my arm around his neck. We haven't had a chance to be alone since then, but I feel like it's my turn now. His partner was at training today and he stroked her so nicely that it makes me sad. Is this a sign that he wants to be more than a colleague, coach and friend? I apologize for my bad English, I speak only a little. We send each other photos of our lives, sometimes with our legs spread out while relaxing, but not intimately.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Explanation disappeared 🫠

[PinkieD]

Sorry, I am new here
We are both in a relationship, but something has drawn us together since the first time we met at work. Common topics and interests, so a colleague also became a personal trainer. I work out 3 times a week and we also meet at work, where we have coffee together or just talk about everything. We write to each other almost daily, we share photos of secluded cabins where we would like to get away from it all. We wrote messages that suggested something more than a friend, especially hints that we would miss him and that things had "moved somewhere" since the first time we met. Morning and evening messages too, sometimes he first, sometimes I first. When he is away from home, he talks more, when my partner is not home we can also call each other. Once we went inline skating together after work, then we wanted to go hiking together twice, which he couldn't do because of work obligations. He always apologized.

[PinkieD]

Later he started touching me more on my sides, arms, back, he patted my thigh a few times, I did the same, but more carefully. Drinking coffee is our time almost after every training and also at work. The topics of our conversations deepened, including about my relationship problems and that's why he doesn't like my partner. The coach has a partner 20 years younger than him, but he doesn't want children anymore and therefore he knows that the relationship with her is not permanent. After one training session, he invited me to lunch. The next day he received a Christmas present from me and immediately asked for "at least a hug" and we kissed on the cheek. After another training session, I received a gift from him. Then he wanted to take me from the gym to the car, when we were sitting in his car, he wanted to wish me a happy new year and then he leaned towards me and I felt like he wanted to kiss me. I kissed him on the cheek because I was a little scared and put my arm around his neck. We haven't had a chance to be alone since then, but I feel like it's my turn now. His partner was at training today and he stroked her so nicely that it makes me sad. Is this a sign that he wants to be more than a colleague, coach and friend? I apologize for my bad English, I speak only a little. We send each other photos of our lives, sometimes with our legs spread out while relaxing, but not intimately.

[ChicoFromThe305]

So let me get this straight are you going out with someone that's already taken? Cause when you said partner at the end there it threw everything off

[PinkieD]

Yes, i am married and he is divorced but he has girlfriend

[ChicoFromThe305]

Y'all are both some unfaithful and deceitful people, this has disaster written all over it, if it's all really meant to be y'all would become single and then get together

[ChicoFromThe305]

Then try and start something but y'all want to become cheaters, ruin two relationships just for the chance of something, it kinda gives that "some people will never find happiness" vibes because you have so much and want to the it all away for something else, that stuff never made sense to me, so I guess I'm the last person you should ask for advice on this.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Throw it all away*

[ChicoFromThe305]

I'm not gonna help you cheat, nor would I support or applaud you for it.

[PinkieD]

I don't want support, I know it's not right. I have problems with my husband. He has a partner with whom they have a relationship more like friends with benefits. There was nothing intimate between us, but we understand each other very well, even without words, often.

[ChicoFromThe305]

No lie your life sounds like a disaster, just bad decisions piled up on top of each other and it seems you just keep making more, let me help you see how deep in shit you are in, you married to someone you don't love and that doesn't love you back, don't have the love and support you want and possibly crave so your next choice was to find someone else without ending what you currently have you decide to find a guy but the guy turns out to have a girlfriend and has the pure intentions of deceiving her with you, so now there's a woman that believes her boyfriend is loyal involved in all this and your only concern is weither the cheating sack of shit is interested in you and how it makes you sad seeing him touch the other woman, sounds to me like how he feels about you is the least of your worries, besides even if he did like you what makes you think this sack of shit wouldn't eventually do the same to you with another woman, I recommend you worry more about desembling this knot of shit you have going rather than believing this clear technique of manipulation he's using on you to get into your pants.

[PinkieD]

yes, it's a lot of shit. but life is like that, you never know where you're going to meet someone. I loved my husband until he turned out to be a jealous narcissist. as long as I was happy, I wouldn't even think of looking for support in a friend instead of my husband. I have to solve this because it's destroying me. and I don't think my friend is just interested in sex.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I'm certain of it, he has a girlfriend that he is deceiving which highers the chances he's deceiving you as well, let's also not forget that if he actually cares about her then that only leaves you with the other option, side chick, the more you think of it, there's no papers or documents stopping him from breaking up with his girlfriend, which makes it right to assume she's the heart holder, I know I'm being harsh here but it seems what you are doing and going through will not only bring harsh results but won't give you what you think you are gonna get out of this, you are being played, you think this will bring you happiness? He's playing you and I'm calling it now, how you proceed here is at your own risk but I'm sure you know that.

[PinkieD]

What if he is hurt from a failed marriage and has a girlfriend just so he won't be alone? That's how I see it, because I often function independently, even though he has many interests and a lot of work. I get the feeling that he is afraid of a serious relationship. I don't push him into anything, nor do I want to force him.

[ChicoFromThe305]

There's nothing that will justify this

[MasterKS]

what behaviour?

[PinkieD]

I explained above in the answer. I'm new here, sorry.

[In_Trance]

No context

[PinkieD]

Sorry, I am new here
We are both in a relationship, but something has drawn us together since the first time we met at work. Common topics and interests, so a colleague also became a personal trainer. I work out 3 times a week and we also meet at work, where we have coffee together or just talk about everything. We write to each other almost daily, we share photos of secluded cabins where we would like to get away from it all. We wrote messages that suggested something more than a friend, especially hints that we would miss him and that things had "moved somewhere" since the first time we met. Morning and evening messages too, sometimes he first, sometimes I first. When he is away from home, he talks more, when my partner is not home we can also call each other. Once we went inline skating together after work, then we wanted to go hiking together twice, which he couldn't do because of work obligations. He always apologized.

[PinkieD]

Later he started touching me more on my sides, arms, back, he patted my thigh a few times, I did the same, but more carefully. Drinking coffee is our time almost after every training and also at work. The topics of our conversations deepened, including about my relationship problems and that's why he doesn't like my partner. The coach has a partner 20 years younger than him, but he doesn't want children anymore and therefore he knows that the relationship with her is not permanent. After one training session, he invited me to lunch. The next day he received a Christmas present from me and immediately asked for "at least a hug" and we kissed on the cheek. After another training session, I received a gift from him. Then he wanted to take me from the gym to the car, when we were sitting in his car, he wanted to wish me a happy new year and then he leaned towards me and I felt like he wanted to kiss me. I kissed him on the cheek because I was a little scared and put my arm around his neck. We haven't had a chance to be alone since then, but I feel like it's my turn now. His partner was at training today and he stroked her so nicely that it makes me sad. Is this a sign that he wants to be more than a colleague, coach and friend? I apologize for my bad English, I speak only a little. We send each other photos of our lives, sometimes with our legs spread out while relaxing, but not intimately.