Why is he so insecure?

[Anonymous]

I am talking about my boyfriend whom I've been in a relationship with for over 5 years. To celebrate our 5th anniversary, we booked a trip to SA and Namibia recently. In Cape Town, it was pretty hot for us and I donned my bikini which looks analogous to the one below worn by the famous travel host Alex Outhwaite (I bought it inspired by her looks). My boyfriend wasn't happy when a few guys checked me out. I didn't encourage their behaviour and went away from them. At the second spot, both of us saw a teen having a tent after staring at me once or twice. Albeit I changed my spot again, my boyfriend wasn't happy about those guys' actions. I asked him not to worry since I love him and only him, and wouldn't pay heed to others' advances towards me. I even held his hands tighter to assure him. He's still upset about it.

Could you please help me?

I mean this looks so good on Alex and everyone who wears it!

[Summeroflove]

If he’s mad at you over something you cannot control then that’s his issue. He can be upset with the dudes all day long but unfortunately when trust is gone there needs to be some serious conversations.

Unless you have cheated on him and he somewhere inside has a bad feeling that OR…. He cheated on you because sometimes cheaters get overly defensive. It’s okay if they cheat just not you. I’m not saying there is cheating but if there is that needs to be the end of the relationship.

Otherwise. You need to have some serious discussions insecurities need to be communicated like adults or else it’s going to get worse. Sometimes conversations make the relationship stronger other times people decide it’s not meant to be therefore end it on good terms. I can’t tell you what’s going to happen other then it will only get worse

[Asker]

Well none of us have cheated. And conversations haven't helped since he believes I wear that for others.

[Summeroflove]

Only you know your true intentions. Maybe you’re not compatible for one another. Maybe he’s wanting someone who dresses more modest even at the beach.

[Summeroflove]

I will say sometimes people who cheat are the quickest to judge their partner. That’s true. Not saying that he did.

If everything else is going great I think you can talk through this. So long as both are being adults.

But also why did you have to post the photos here?

[Asker]

I mean he has not acted or said anything otherwise that made me feel incompatible. What does he want, for me to swim in jeans?

[Summeroflove]

I mean one of the photos is suggestive I’m not going to lie

[Summeroflove]

Well lol I mean there are swimming suits that aren’t bikinis. Look some people aren’t meant to be and are looking for different things.

Such as there is a woman if her man has a six pack of abs. Doenst want other girls seeing it…

[Asker]

It's not my picture. It's of Alex, just to show how the bikini looks, if anyone wants a reference. It's quite normal to wear this. I don't look around for men to give me attention lol. There will be men who'd ogle even if only eyes were visible.

[Summeroflove]

Look im not saying you are. But like I said maybe you’re not compatible if you can’t communicate with one another it’s a red flag

[Summeroflove]

Express your feelings and listen to his. Without trying to talk over one another. Trying to shut the other down. Listen then provide your perspective.

A lot of people wear bikinis a lot of men wear swimming trucks witn nothing else. Okay…. But for some individuals maybe that’s more of a issue

[Asker]

True that. I also told him how he knows our lovemaking sessions become steamy after beach visits.

[Summeroflove]

Okay well I don’t need to hear about all that. Just…. Communicate with one another. That’s how a relationship is supposed to work.

Everyone has insecurities. But people can act very immature if those aren’t expressed normally

[Asker]

I've emphasised that a lot of times

[Summeroflove]

Well it takes some time for pepppe to open up especially if they been hurt and had things used against them before.

Maybe he was in a abusive relationship before so maybe that’s where it’s coming from

[ChicoFromThe305]

You are at the beach wearing a bikini, it seems he's getting upset for small things, they are just staring, I don't know what you can really do besides what you already told him, he's gotta work on himself

[Asker]

Well, dialogue could potentially solve this, but hasn't worked so far

[Asker]

And on top of that, he knows we have great sex after visiting beaches.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I guess it just all depends on if you can actually convince him cause he probably hears it but doesn't believe it which would explain why he gets upset no matter what you say

[Asker]

I tried to. He was with me the whole time. I didn't venture to the beach alone tryna seduce guys

[ChicoFromThe305]

I believe you and id like to say he does too but maybe he's just not used to it, you know having an attractive girlfriend that picks up eyes where she goes, maybe over time he will adjust or something

[Asker]

It's been quite a time since we've been together. I've worn such outfits even when I was single and all throughout my relationship with him.

[ChicoFromThe305]

And he just started acting this way now?

[Asker]

Yes he did

[ChicoFromThe305]

Odd.

[Asker]

Very. Indeed. He's the one with me at the end of the day.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep it's odd behavior for new behavior

[Asker]

And he knows how steamy our lovemaking gets after visiting beaches

[ChicoFromThe305]

I don't think that's relevant but okay 😂

[Asker]

It is, coz sometimes I feel a bit wet from the attention, but I always channel that for him

[ChicoFromThe305]

Okay so his feelings don't come out of nowhere then, you like the attention and he must know it, that explains it

[Asker]

No! Girls can get wet randomly just like guys get a boner

[ChicoFromThe305]

I've never heard that before, you legit just said it was from the attention 😂

[zombiewoof]

He should be proud that he is the sole lover of a woman that causes tents

[Asker]

Well I don't even encourage that behaviour from other guys. I just wear it to feel good about myself, and a bonus point- we often have great sex after visiting beaches.

[zombiewoof]

I did not mean to imply that you did encourage that behavior, you said that it happens. He should be proud that you love only him

[zombiewoof]

I see you are from Detroit, when i was younger i had an aunt that lived in Lincoln Park, another lived in Dearborn

[Asker]

Yes of course I get what you mean. Geez, Lincoln Park is a stone's throw away from my residence haha. Dearborn is another lovely place. It feels like the world is a small place hehe

[zombiewoof]

Have not been there since the 60s, when they both moved

[Asker]

Has changed drastically since those good 'ol days. You still feel the city's vintage vibes in many ways.

[zombiewoof]

I was in the Ford rotunda before it burned, went there to see santa a few times

[Asker]

Uh oh, that was a tragic incident. My grandparents used to see the Santa there haha. :)

[glennos89]

He doesn't thrust you completely otherwise he would feel comfortable knowing that you aren't going to cheat anyways

[Anonymous]

It's 100% his issue. You aren't responsible for how other people behave. You aren't deliberately seeking attention. He'll just have to learn to get over it.

[Ariesman81]

He has every right to be "insecure". You're marketing yourself on the Internet. You're trash.

[Wise4myage]

He needs to grow up. Nice ass by the way.

[Anonymous]

Are you from southern?

[Asker]

Nay, from Detroit

[Opinion Owner]

He probably didn't like the way they look at you and be jeaolus

[Asker]

But I tried explaining how that's not in my control. How I react to that is.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know honey never encounter this kind of situation If ı had ı dont know how to react maybe same as you boyfriend or don't care I dont know