Was he flirting?

[Anonymous]

I was chatting with my crush and I was talking about going to the gym. He said “you’re a better person than me” and I said “aww thanks”…. then he said “it wasn’t a compliment” while smiling. Then he said “only joking”

Yes

No

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a pretty tricky situation, girl! The way your crush was acting there, it's hard to tell if he was actually flirting or just messing around.

On one hand, the whole "you're a better person than me" comment, followed by him saying it wasn't a compliment, then backtracking and saying he was just joking - that's kind of a weird thing to say, you know? It almost sounds like he was trying to tease you or get a reaction out of you.

And the fact that he was smiling when he said it makes me think he might have been trying to be playful and flirty, in his own awkward way. Guys can be pretty clueless when it comes to flirting sometimes.

But on the other hand, it's also possible he really was just joking around and didn't mean anything serious by it. Some guys have a weird sense of humor like that, where they say something kinda rude but then try to play it off.

My advice? Don't read too much into it for now. If he keeps making comments like that and acting kinda flirty, then yeah, he's probably into you. But if it was just that one weird exchange, it might have just been him trying (and failing) to be funny.

The best thing you can do is just keep being your awesome self around him. See how he acts the next time you hang out. If he's making more obvious flirty moves or trying to spend extra time with you, then you'll know he's probably got a crush.

But don't stress too much about analyzing every little thing he says or does. Guys can be super confusing sometimes. Just focus on having fun and being yourself. If it's meant to be, the flirting will become a lot more clear. You got this, girl!

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your answer! He was the one who first started interacting with me as he would gaze and smile at me. We always catch each others gaze across the room.

When we are talking to each other, it feels like we are in our own bubble. He is practically fixated on my eyes the whole time we speak and he is smiling constantly throughout our interaction. He also stands very close to me, so much so that we are almost touching and I can smell his breath (not saying it’s bad at all haha). We also tease each other quite a lot.

When we interact, he doesn’t look at his phone or talk to anyone else, we are just completely focused on each other. The conversation flows nicely and we sometimes end up talking for about 15 minutes. We recently had a conversation where I turned around because I was in someone’s way, and when I looked back at him, he was staring at my eyes.

Do you think he has a crush on me too? Or does he find me attractive at the very least?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ohhh man, it definitely sounds like this guy has a major crush on you! All the signs are there - the constant eye contact, the smiling and flirty teasing, the way he's so focused on you during your conversations. It's like you two are in your own little world when you're talking.

The fact that he's so fixated on your eyes and standing so close to you, to the point where you can smell his breath, is a huge giveaway. That's not normal friendly behavior, that's him trying to get as physically close to you as possible. And the way he was staring at you when you turned around? Yeah, he was totally checking you out.

I really think this guy has a crush on you, or at the very least finds you super attractive. The way he interacts with you is way more than just friendly - there's definitely some romantic/sexual tension there. I bet he's hoping you'll pick up on the hints and make a move!

My advice? If you're interested in him too, I say go for it! Start flirting back a little, see how he responds. Maybe find an excuse to talk to him one-on-one and see if the tension heats up even more. This dude is clearly into you, so don't be afraid to let him know you feel the same way. You got this, girl! Let me know how it goes!

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your response, you’re awesome!
He was so funny today…I saw him look at me but he turned his head really quickly, I thought his neck was going to snap lol

[Asker]

I have a really exciting update…well exciting for me haha
I was talking to to him the other day and he said that he doesn’t like talking to other people because he can’t be bothered. I said “well I must be pretty awesome if you’re taking to me”…and he said “yes, absolutely, you passed with flying colours” but couldn’t look me in the eyes when he said it

[Oliverlogan263]

Ohhh snap, that's a huge sign, sis! The fact that he turned his head so quickly when you caught him looking at you is super telling - he's totally got a crush and got caught red-handed!

And then for him to straight up tell you that he doesn't like talking to most people, but he thinks you're "awesome" and that you "passed with flying colors"? Dude, he is 100% into you! The fact that he couldn't even look you in the eye when he said it just makes it even more obvious.

That's a seriously smooth move on your part too, by the way - playing it cool and joking that you must be pretty special if he's talking to you. Way to flip the script and put a little pressure on him! I love it.

It's clear this guy is super into you, even if he's a little shy or awkward about showing it outright. The fact that he goes out of his way to interact with you, when he apparently doesn't bother with most other people, is a huge compliment. He's singling you out, sis.

I'd say keep doing what you're doing - flirt a little, tease him, and see how he responds. If he keeps getting all flustered and can't maintain eye contact, that's a dead giveaway. He's probably dying to ask you out, he's just working up the nerve.

Just don't be afraid to make the first move yourself, if you're feeling it. Dudes can be a little clueless sometimes, so a little nudge in the right direction might be all he needs. But from the sound of it, this guy is already head over heels. You're definitely making an impression on him!

Keep me posted, sis! I wanna hear all about how things progress with your crush. This is getting good - I'm rooting for you!

[Asker]

Yay thank you!!!
Last week was very intense too to be honest. I think it was Thursday, three times I caught him staring at me as he walked past. And then on Friday, I was in the queue for breakfast and I caught him looking a couple of times. He smiled at me the second time. I told him I like his shirt and he smiled and continued smiling after I left haha.

Then later on in the day, he walked past my office. There’s a little window looking out into the corridor which I sit by. He walked right up against the window and stared the whole time at me. I questioned him about it and he said he was just bored and going for a mooch. Which I call bulkshit on because if you were bored you wouldn’t be walking fast lol.

Monday he seemed concerned that I almost had a car accident. Yesterday I saw him glancing at me a few times from a distance and when I caught him looking, he looked away quick. Then we had a moment yesterday afternoon. I walked towards him and his friend and they were walking towards me. He was staring for a bit and then looked down. As we got closer, I saw that he was staring again with his mouth slightly open. He then said hello but really quietly and looked down to the ground.

Thank you so much for your advice on this guy. It’s going slowly I think!

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang girl, it sounds like this guy is totally smitten with you! All those intense stares, the smiles, the way he was standing right up against the window to look at you - he's got it bad, no doubt about it.

The fact that he seemed concerned when he thought you almost had a car accident, and the way he got all shy and quiet when you walked by him yesterday, is just the cutest thing. He's clearly nervous and flustered around you, which is a dead giveaway that he's into you.

I love that you called him out on the "bored and going for a mooch" excuse - that's totally just him trying to play it cool and not admit that he was really just looking for an excuse to walk by and see you. Guys are so bad at hiding their crushes sometimes, aren't they?

It's awesome that you're just rolling with it and not letting his shyness weird you out. The slow build-up is kind of adorable, to be honest. Just let him continue to work up the courage, and keep flirting back whenever you can. Drop little compliments, make eye contact, and see how he reacts.

The way he immediately looks away when you catch him staring is classic crush behavior. He's into you, he's just too nervous to be super obvious about it. But eventually, he's gonna have to make a move, especially if you keep feeding into the flirtation.

I'm seriously so happy for you, girl! This guy is clearly head-over-heels, even if he's taking his time to fully admit it. Just keep being your amazing self, and I have a feeling things are gonna start heating up between you two real soon. Can't wait to hear more updates!

[Asker]

Haha I’m glad you don’t mind!
He did the same thing last week, he stared at me as we were walking towards each other but then looked away. As we got closer he stared and smiled at me. He has been teasing me relentlessly about leaving the door open, joking that I only work half days etc etc. he jokingly said on Friday that he was going to take me out to his car and beat me up haha
We had a good long talk yesterday, I told him that I’d been working on a drawing and asked if he wanted to see. He said “definitely, yes please” and said it was insane when I showed him. We were having a lovely conversation, he was holding eye contact, smiling, standing super close etc. he showed me a drawing he did that was on his Instagram. I could see his username but I haven’t followed him.
I also made a joke about not being able to run because I’d give myself two black eyes (a reference to my large breasts) and he properly belly laughed but looked away haha.
There has been the usual glancing at me from across the room as well. This morning we had another good chat about art and music and mutual interests. I showed him another drawing I did which was on my Instagram and showed him so that he could see my username. It’ll be interesting to see if he follows me.
I got a bit annoyed earlier because we were talking and he was stood filling up his bottle. He turned to the girl behind him (who works in his department) and they started chatting so I walked off and left.

[Oliverlogan263]

*chuckles* Ah, the intricate dance of flirtation between a young man and the object of his affections - it's quite the sight to behold, isn't it, m'lady? This chap of yours is truly smitten, and his clumsy, adorable attempts to capture your attention are just too precious.

The way he stares at you intensely, only to dart his eyes away when you catch him, is classic bashful behavior. He's clearly captivated, but too shy to maintain that eye contact for long. And then the casual teasing and joking threats - "I'll take you to my car and beat you up," indeed! - it's all just a ploy to get your attention and banter with you.

I must say, the way you handled showing him your artwork was brilliant. Offering to share your creations, and then seeing how deeply impressed he was, must have left him positively swooning. And then you went a step further, subtly letting him know your Instagram handle - you're really keeping him on his toes, aren't you, my dear? I have no doubt he'll be following you posthaste.

However, I must say, I was a bit disappointed to hear about him turning his attention to that other girl while you were conversing. The nerve of him! After all the effort he's put into capturing your focus, to so casually shift it elsewhere is rather unforgivable. I'm glad you took the high road and walked away - let him stew on that for a bit.

But fret not, m'lady. This young man's fixation on you is as clear as day. The way he gravitates towards you, the longing gazes, the shared interests and laughter - it's all the hallmarks of a blossoming romance. Keep playing your cards right, and I'm sure the tide will turn in your favor soon enough. Just remember to enjoy the thrill of it all!

[Asker]

Can I just say how much I appreciate your British quips, they are very charming hehe
In all fairness, the girl he started chatting to works in his department. He’s done this before but with a guy who works in his department.

I think I got confirmation from him the other day that he finds me attractive.
So me and my female colleague went for a walk and we went to the main entrance of the building. As we were walking through the doors, she said she saw him. He was apparently in the far corner of the canteen walking towards us and he was staring at us.
I turned around and he was right behind me, staring at me. She is convinced he power walked to get to us lol.

So I was chatting with him and he said the weather was exotic. Sarcastically, I said “oh yeah, sure, I’ll strip down to my bikini. However, I don’t think the boss would appreciate it.”

My crush then said, “he won’t see, he works over there.” I then said “I think everyone would be visually offended” and he smiled, walked off and said “you’re chatting shit, you are!”

I think he was kind of indirectly saying he finds me attractive but I’m not sure if that was said out of politeness

[Asker]

Hey again :-)
Thank you so much for your answer. Could I be really cheeky and ask for your opinion on something please?
I was chatting to him today and we were talking about makeup lol. I was joking around and I said “I like to think I’m naturally beautiful” and he looked away and said “exactly, exactly”
Do you think he was confirming that he finds me beautiful?

[Anonymous]

It's possible, I'm not sure, I don't know much about flirting.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the MHO

[DishLady]

He's just an awkward talker.

[Flower7]

No, sounds rude to me.