Guys, who would you physically chase down to talk to?

[DishLady]

I find it odd that a guy will be completely silent for weeks then chase a gal down to talk to her even if it's just for a few minutes. I'd like to know what makes that person worth chasing down to you?

[HawkPerception]

Ya know... I had to rethink this one. I was initially going to say that I don't chase. Nowadays, I feel like the majority of my generation's women are not receptive to being approached and unless a girl shows interest in me, I won't even bother attempting to even approach.

But I think I have pretty good intuition about people; my ability to judge someone's character at a glance is decent, so there are certain cases where I think I might potentially chase down a girl to attempt talking with her for a bit.

Honestly speaking, this girl has my ideal kind of aesthetic and looks goddess or fairy-like. I'd probably try to initiate a conversation with her.

[DishLady]

Just bc of how she looked?

[HawkPerception]

Was this not a question based on first impression? Was this based on talking to someone already? If so, then my answer changes quite a bit. But based on first impression and physical looks alone, this is my answer, as that's all we have when it comes to strangers.

[DishLady]

It’s open to whatever would prompt you chase a woman.

[HawkPerception]

If it was based on a conversation I had with the girl, then physical attraction (how she looks and dresses) still matters, but not as much.

The main things I look for are how similar we are... in terms of views, interests, sense of humor, etc. How she looks at me (if I can see a kind hearted girl that's genuinely interested in me, smiles at me).

If she checks off on all those boxes, I'm likely chasing after her.

[Friendlybro79]

Chase down is a weird way to say it for myself. I would make an effort to talk to someone that I thought I really liked and wanted to pursue for a date to potentially lead into a relationship.

Chase down after being silent for weeks might mean they needed to get the nerve or courage to talk to that person. It's not always easy to approach someone that you like or are attracted to for all the reasons you could be attracted to someone.

[DishLady]

It’s just strange to me that he’ll take that trouble and not follow up with actual communication.

[Friendlybro79]

I understand what you're saying. Not everyone nowadays is versed in actual face to face communication too. It's def strange to me as well.

[DishLady]

🤷🏻‍♀️

[Mark987]

I have never really " chased" a woman, but there was a woman I met in colllege once, and to me she was " out of my league" we had a lot of classes together. I shot my shot and it worked. That relationship taught me that just because they're physically attractive doesn't mean they're a great person.

[DishLady]

Right on!

[Mark987]

Thanks :)

[Professor-college]

Well a woman who is not just physically attractive or with a lovely face or hair but one that shows a nice personality who doesn't get too angry about the little things and once to achieve great things in life but at the same time knows that money is not everything

[DishLady]

Hmm. Interesting.

[Professor-college]

Well I know that perhaps I'm asking too much but you did ask the kind of woman that I would consider much better than the rest... And by the way Happy Valentine's Day

[DishLady]

True.

Happy Valentine’s Day. :)

[Sonorous]

Nobody in the sense that I'm so horny that I'd chase some woman. The only time I'd run towards a woman is if there was a urgency with another matter.

[DishLady]

Like what kind of matter?

[Sonorous]

Think of anything important. A woman drops her wallet on the ground, someone tries to attack an innocent woman, a woman looks like she's about to drop something fragile, etc. You name it.

[DishLady]

See, THAT would make sense. Can you do me a small favor and see the more detailed description I shared on @krin_m's response? I'm trying to figure out what Guy 3 is doing. There was absolutely nothing urgent for him to approach me about... especially at church. He could have just called or texted privately to check in with me, but instead... the chasing spectacle that I find confusing.

[Sonorous]

lol commented on the wrong opinion. Sorry but I'm just not that interested.

[DishLady]

Ah! Yeah, I saw that. Ok. I was just asking bc I wanted some clarity.

[Sonorous]

Yeah no hard feelings, I'm just more selfish today. 🤣

[DishLady]

Selfish is fine. I get it. And today’s kind of an odd day esp if you’re single, no matter how you slice and dice it… Be well and have a good weekend. :)

[HungTexan]

If I was going to chase down a woman, it would have to be an emergency. Normal interaction and communication is better even if you’re trying to get in a woman’s pants.

[DishLady]

Like an actual emergency, right?

[HungTexan]

Yes. Otherwise you look desperate!

[DishLady]

Ok... can you do me a small favor, then? Check out what I wrote to @krin_m's reply below and tell me wtf Guy 3 is doing. To me he just seems nutty.

[HungTexan]

I think he is kind of nutty, and obviously he’s smitten with you as well. Seems like erratic behavior to me. I’d be careful.

[DishLady]

I’m basically just silent. Not much else to do, I think.

[DryGermanGuy]

If I'm hungry and she's about to cook a delicious lunch or dinner.

[DishLady]

Lol. That’s my son’s opinion.

[Sunrising]

Anyone in a tight skirt, or perhaps I need to be more careful these day's !

[DishLady]

Hahaha

[OlderAndWiser]

I would chase after a woman if i was attracted and thought there was a decent chance of us both wanting to explore dating each other.

[NathanDavis]

I don't chase... period

and definitely not because of their looks

[krin_m]

Without knowing the specific circumstances, it is hard to tell.

[DishLady]

Tbh, it's happened to me in three instances in my life. My first love did that and several romantic things throughout our time in college and chased me down one time in grad school, when in my opinion it was too late for us to pick up where we'd left off (plus I knew he never wanted to marry, so we never had a proper dating relationship). That chase was clear enough... the intention was sweet, though it was a sort of panic at losing me to someone who did want to marry me.

The second was the guy I ended up marrying. He chased after a bus for me and monopolized my time for weeks till I agreed to marry him. (He was very sweet till we were actually married. Long story I won't get into since it's not related to the question.) Again, the intention was clear.

The third one is confusing. The guy was very into me for several months, then claimed he was not interested in me (romantically) after putting the moves on me... then asked if we could be friends... then flipped and said he didn't want any sort of relationship with me and went radio silent for a month. Suddenly he comes to church, sees me with another guy, spends the whole time trying to get my attention (which I ignore bc he's been a jerk) and finally he chases me down when he realizes I'm going to leave without speaking to him at all... It's unclear WHY he would do that when he's not interested. Wtf does he want from me? (And, by the way, since then a month has passed and he didn't reach out to me again, but he's been asking about me and talking about me to other people.)

[DishLady]

He chased me down (the third guy) and blocked my quiet, dignified walk out the door just to ask me if we "are cool" ... after a month of silence preceded by his poor behavior and mixed signals. Why WOULD we be cool? Why was he doing this? I felt like he was just trying to upset me for no reason... or to get attention, like a kid.

[krin_m]

@DishLady, tbh, none of these seem like normal patterns of behavior to me. I would say be careful and ensure your safety in these situations.

[DishLady]

I'm not speaking to the guy. I asked our priest to speak to him about his behavior, which may have caused the initial gap in our association, but then he chased me down this way. It was in public, so I'm not worried about anything creepy happening, but he doesn't seen to know wtf he wants and I don't have time for that sort of person.

[MicahRaine]

Yes lol I have. Never for romantic reasons though actually