Why would a guy who’s shown signs of liking you, pull back after you say you like him?

[Anonymous]

Why does this happen? Was I too forward and now there’s no chase?

[Anonymous]

Perception is everything. A guy can only get so close. He can't be inside your skin. Know what I mean? Is it possible he's having second thoughts, question some things? Yes. But it's also just as likely that your expecting another level of closeness that simply is only achievable in your mind. Guys have to win a woman over. Women don't hand over the keys to the kingdom. So once a guy feels he's achieved that it's NORMAL for thier to be SOME fall off. It doesn't mean he's stopped caring about her an ounce less. It simply means he knows he doesn't have to jump through hoops to impress her anymore. And any woman who expects this a guy should not be with. Don't confuse this with me saying a guy can stop completely. That's not OK either. A should always be earning his partners love. I'm si. ply saying there IS some fall off.

[Asker]

Thank you for this, yes I didn’t really know that it can be normal for a bit of pull back. So he can switch off the flirty signs because he was trying to get my attention, but now doesn’t need to, because he knows I like him, is that right? What do I do during the pull back then, let him come to me? Don’t chase?

[Opinion Owner]

Essentially. I'm not saying go hot cold hot cold according to him. If you truly got him hooked you SHOULD be able to voice when you feel ignored. A partner who cares about you WANTS to make you happy. A partner who cares about you WANTS to communicate with you. This is where non verbal communication. Picking up when you preaching or nagging vs. Communicating.
Basically we teach people how to treat us by making it clear what we'll accept. This goes for either gender.

[Opinion Owner]

This is where nonverbal communication comes in* is what I meant to say.

[Shiprex]

He's maybe lost the mystery or a bit scared at the potential for hurt this could create. There could be something that he's now found the chase over and it's no longer appealing.

[Asker]

Do you mean the hurt it is cause me? Should I never have been too forward and let me chase me instead or do you think it would never have worked?

[Shiprex]

I don't know if it would have worked because I don't have the full context or know either of you but I would say that IF he now thinks of you as "conquered" then the chase is over and he has his prize. That doesn't mean there's no future so don't despair. It means he's maybe rearranging his thoughts and feelings about you.
A good heart to heart in a compassionate and honest way may be able to bring his intentions out and help you clarify between you both where things are going.
You may have scared him off too but again it's not over until it's clear in your and his mind there is no future.
Good luck

[Lokiion]

Either scared, enjoyed the chase, or a mix of both in my personal opinion

[Asker]

What would he be scared of? If he enjoyed the chase, would he just get bored after that?

[Lokiion]

I mean yes he would get bored but I mean scared as in scared of commitment

[Asker]

Oh right yeah I see thanks

[Gmars]

I'd need to know more about what these "signs" are specifically. Otherwise I couldn't give you a definitive answer.

[Asker]

So he would regularly check me out, and look down when I caught him, intense eye gaze when talking, act nervous and fidget when with me, he would reply quickly to my texts (like super quick), always look at me when he was talking to someone else or make an effort to acknowledge me, be really helpful with things etc.

[Gmars]

I could be very wrong, but he might very well had just gotten cold feet. He's probably inexperienced and just doesn't know what to do or just felt like he wasn't expecting it. Now before you say I'm fibbin, Lemme just say, that I am literally this person. Minus the whole pulling back part... Usually my response to flirtatious acts are pretty awkward. Partly because of my own social ineptitude, partly because of my OCD. Whenever someone tries to flirt with me my mind goes into overdrive thinking of a way to respond and sometimes the first thing that comes to my brain is just to GTFO. Maybe he had a similar reaction.

[Lokiion]

Was just about to ask this same question

[Asker]

Thank you for your insight. So if he felt he wasn’t expecting it, then would be enough to back off? Aw thank you,, good to hear from another guy.

[Gmars]

Just doing what I can to help