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Why do men change after a timeframe of being together?
I’ve been with my partner for a year and 3months. We’re with eachother daily, is that why? We hardly kiss, unless I initiate it first unless he’s leaving for work, he will initiate. We don’t really hug unless I ask or do it, don’t hold hands, the physical affection isn’t what it was in the beginning, I know things change over time and die down. But why? I still want to do all that stuff/more often then we do, But it seems he’s fallen back? I noticed this in all my relationships, so I feel like it’s normal but why? We’re currently looking for a place together, my daughter and him have a good relationship. She’s even slipped and called him dad twice. Which has never happened in any other relationship before. Our relationship is good but I’m a worry wart with everything and over sensitive and constantly think I did something and that’s why it has died down but he tells me things just change over time which I also understand. Help? I want to ease my mind, Thankyou.
I’ve been with my partner for a year and 3months. We’re with eachother daily, is that why? We hardly kiss, unless I initiate it first unless he’s leaving for work, he will initiate. We don’t really hug unless I ask or do it, don’t hold hands, the physical affection isn’t what it was in the beginning, I know things change over time and die down. But why? I still want to do all that stuff/more often then we do, But it seems he’s fallen back? I noticed this in all my relationships, so I feel like it’s normal but why? We’re currently looking for a place together, my daughter and him have a good relationship. She’s even slipped and called him dad twice. Which has never happened in any other relationship before. Our relationship is good but I’m a worry wart with everything and over sensitive and constantly think I did something and that’s why it has died down but he tells me things just change over time which I also understand. Help? I want to ease my mind, Thankyou.
What Guys Said
Because honestly men aren’t really how you expect them to be as far as what the movies show you. Hollywood has lied to women about men being these heroes who sweep you off your feet, who shower you w gifts, romance, love, etc. Some men may do it but not to the extent of what women see on tv. Even if he really is like that believe it or not so women think he’s too soft, or it’s corny. A lot of times men like that turn out to be simps, weak, soft because he’s willing to do whatever she wants w out standing up for himself at times. A lot of women don’t like that. You think men should think or feel the same way as you do because that’s how you feel or react when it comes to flowers, romance, chocolates, etc, etc. But those things don’t have that same outcome on men. Your reality as well as a lot of women’s reality of what men should be like doesn’t align w the reality of what men really are like. A man shows love, affection, by taking care of you as far as bills, doing things for you like fixing the car, etc, etc. Yes not exactly romantic but that’s how men show love. You have to understand that men know there are certain things we need to do to get the girl, like holding hands, kissing, etc. But those are normal things for most men so they only last for so long. It’s like one of my fellow co-workers who got called into the office. She’s lazy as hell, doesn’t really work, can never be found. I’m not saying all men are lazy or don’t really work. But what in saying is that for a few months she changed, she did more. But eventually she went back to her ways cause that’s how she is. That’s sort of the same way w men. I’ve been w my girl for 17 years. And honestly I don’t do a lot of the things you talk of. I try to but it doesn’t come as normal to me. But what I do do is all the things she asked me to do as far as the house, the cars, paying the bills, and so on. Sometimes women tend to do the same. Some pretend to like sports but overtime as they get comfortable it comes out that they never liked sports. Some women pretend to like giving head or even swallowing, but once she’s been w you for a while it stops cause she’s never liked it. She did what she had to do to land the man. If they breakup chances are she will do that w another man.
I liked your response, a lot. It had me thinking. You made sense. But I can’t find the way to grasp and control my feelings. I don’t wanna constantly crave or beg or worry for those things and I don't know how to control the urges. Because it annoys him at least I think it does, I’ll want to cuddle and he tells me he isn’t in the mood and honestly I cry. He tells me I’m a child for crying.. but I’m just upset because I want to be held. That’s all. I just miss the affection and just want him to like meet me half way and do it a little more.. it doesn’t have to be constant, but I just wish it was more than what it is now. I try to talk to myself but I don't know how to handle this within myself because I ovbi can’t make him, you know.
I tell myself, you know he kisses me goodbye even though I wish he kissed me hello, so I do the hello and goodbye.(it’s both of us for goodbyes) but he does help work on my car (well he has) he’s helped me with bills, we’re only boyfriend/girlfriend and he is bipolar, sometimes he will help me no problem and other times I hear “you shouldn’t need this much help” but he’s also told me he is supposed to take care of me. I’m confused. He helps with my daughter a lot, even if she’s a handful, he’s picked her up from school, makes sure she eats, helps with her homework, he will step in if I’m overwhelmed with her usually.. he will watch her if I have to work and she’s sick and he’s home. So it’s like I know he loves me/us or has love for us but I just miss the affection.
I get what you’re saying. Sounds like he does care about you in all that he does. As I mentioned men do things like that for those they love. We weren’t brought up to be like women. Think for a minute. If men were brought up like women, what do you think k things would be like than? Women tend to want men who are strong, who are leaders, who protect as well as take care of their loved ones. So again imagine if men were like women. I doubt that women would like it at all.
A lot of women say they want a man who’s in touch w his feelings, who expresses his feelings, etc. But over time a lot of them don’t like it because he ends up turning out to be soft, agreeable all the time especially w his girl. That’s not what women want. A lot of women want a man who is going to stand up for himself, tell her no at times, to lead, be the person to look to in a relationship. Women don’t want to date other women unless they’re lesbians. Just like men don’t want to come home to other men (masculine women) after working all day. I can’t speak too much on him being bipolar as I don’t have experience w that, but maybe that has a part to do w how you think he’s the way he is. I will be honest in saying yes I do think women think a lot of things are hard. You may not agree w me but I think women think life is harder for them because their emotions take over in a lot of things. Whereas women tend to think life as a man is easy but I think it’s more so that we’re just raised to not be babies. We’re told to shut up, you’re a man you don’t cry. So as hard as things may get for men we really don’t show it or talk about it so that’s why women probably think it’s easier being a man. I’ve seen women at work get their feelings hurt because some of the other women didn’t invite her to lunch. So if I’m being honest sometimes I think a lot of things women cry about, it’s like really, come on. What’s your relationship w him like as far as what you do for him? You cook? Clean? Honestly? Or are you one of what they call these modern women who thinks 50/50.
Before the man met you, he was a person; after living with you, he will have to adapt to your mold, this could be the reason for a change in personality. However, if it is a change in relation to love, kisses and so on, he may probably think that he already has you 100% and does not need to surprise you, this is a serious mistake that cools the relationship.
How do I fix it? Sometimes I’ll try to talk about it, he says he will work on it and does for a few days and then it stops again/minimizes. Other times I’m told that I worry about the wrong shit or it’s highschool shit or he doesn’t have to do all that to love me. I just miss it. I wanna be held and kissed more.
Você conserta com greve de sexo, se cuidando mais e evitando ele, ou você pode conversar com ele sobre isso. É sempre bom manter a chama do casal, você quer, agora só falta ele querer.
You can fix it by going on a sex strike, taking better care of yourself and avoiding him, or you can talk to him about it. It's always good to keep the flame alive in a couple. You want it, now all that's left is for him to want it.
But stay calm, this is common in many couples, but it is not difficult to solve, try to do what I said.
He isn’t big on sex, I stopped asking and pulled back because I wanted it multiple times a week, he was more 1-2 every two weeks, 1-3x a month, very seldom. Which took some adjusting because I came from a relationship where sex was nearly 6 outta 7 days a week.. it hurt me a lot but I pulled back.. I noticed he will initiate sex when I’m not crying about it or upset, but I also feel like I have to wait on his time to be intimate in that way and that’s partially not fair to me. The upside of that is, I don’t have to worry about any accidents I guess lol.
You have very different tastes, a person who has a lot of sex may not get along with a person who doesn't like sex that much. Honestly, this is the first time I've seen the papers invested lol