If a guy coworker previously has shown interest in you, but now acts very formal why is that?

[Anonymous]

He was friendly before and showed interest, but now acts very formal, why is this?

[spartan55]

Maybe he wasn't truly interested to begin with. Women tend to misread and micro analyze this to death. Just browse this forum for evidence.
OR
He was interested and you showed him nothing in return so he just said 'fuck this' like any self respecting guy would.

[Asker]

Yeah thanks for this, I know what you mean. I think he tries to act formal and professional but even today I still find he stares at me when I’m not looking, like consistently

[Anonymous]

How was he showing interest? A lot of women take it that a man is interested in her if he smiles or says hi, especially every time he sees her. Not always the case. It’s just a risk to try to talk to women, just being friendly. Because you don’t want to be accused of something or give her the misinterpretation that he’s interested. So he may not have been interested at all. He might have been interested too, but lost interest.

[Asker]

I know what you mean. He would regularly engage in locked eye contact, check in out when I’m not looking and gaze at me from a distance. He would be nervous and sometimes stumble on words when one to one. Kind of look a bit stunned when I’d talk to me, but he’s a confident person with others. He would always try to help me with stuff and sit really close like lean in. None of these things happen with other male coworkers.

[Opinion Owner]

So maybe he’s lost interest. Could also be he’s still interested but realized he’s giving you too much attention which may make him appear desperate so he backed off. Could also be reverse psychology. Not giving you attention is messing w you like it is now cause you’re wondering why. So now you’re intrigued as to why he’s not the same now.

[Asker]

Thank you, yes could be I guess, but what am I supposed to do? Pay him more attention?

[Opinion Owner]

Do you like him? You could try breaking the ice one day just by saying hi.

[Asker]

Yes I find him attractive, thanks yes I should do that,

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, surprise him by saying hi. See how he reacts.

[EmmaMary]

Obviously you didn't allow him to give you a damn good fucking... Simples!

[Asker]

Haha and what now he’s upset about it?

[EmmaMary]

Just like a normal typical guy would be.

[Asker]

Yeah I’m. Thanks

[Asker]

**ok

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter. You don't date coworkers.

[Asker]

I’m not looking to date him, but I know him, it’s like super formal, like he doesn’t know me,

[sawno]

Probably did something that made him loose interest.

[Asker]

Maybe but like act the either extreme of so formal, like he doesn’t know me,

[OlderAndWiser]

Perhaps he is now in a relationship and this is his way of minimizing his temptation.

[Asker]

Ah ok, that would make sense. So he overcompensates by being distant so that he doesn’t feel tempted?

[OlderAndWiser]

Exactly. The best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it.

[Asker]

Ok great thanks

[In_Trance]

Probably because he was wasting company time and got written up. You're there to do a job it's not a dating club

[Asker]

What do you mean by written up? I’m not looking to date him, but it’s extremely formal like we don’t know each other, we can still be professional.

[itsannalee]

Because he is being professional.

[Asker]

I get that, I am also professional but I’m still friendly, without being standoffish.

[itsannalee]

People are different

[Asker]

Yeah I get that, it’s just annoying because he’s so different now.

[spartan55]

@asker
If you aren't looking to date him then why does this matter to you. Being professional is not being standoffish. Do some reflecting, you may have done something that put him off.