I dont understand this "joke"?

[ShySocialButterfly]

I have a guy friend who will ask what I'm doing later. I'll respond I'm not sure. He'll make a suggestion, and I'll ask what time. His response would be "I'm just playing." What is that? Should I confront him? Its often.

[SteveSmith1985]

I just laughed so hard at: "It's often."

That's... not a funny joke. I don't think it even qualifies as a joke. It's annoying. Very. Especially often.

I think you should confront him. But I think you should do it non-aggressively. I think it will have a better chance of being heard that way.

Do it in person, if possible. Ask if you can talk about something with him. Tell him in a serious, (yet slightly confused) tone:

"I don't understand why you think that's funny. It's honestly just really annoying. Could you please just... not do that anymore? It's just annoying"

The tone should be like you're having to explain something confusing; to a guy who should 'get it' but doesn't.

Because you'll have to explain something confusing; to a guy who should 'get it' but doesn't. (so it's the appropriate tone).

I think it's totally fair for you to put an end to this nonsense.

There is no joke to understand. It's not you. It's him.

🙂

[ShySocialButterfly]

I did just this. It wasn’t in person though. He’s said he doesn’t know why then called it a bad dad joke. I’m gonna take a moment away from him for awhile. At least try to start inching back.

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm glad you did this. But... you didn't do it all the way! I took this a little too lightheartedly now that I hear your reply.

I was making a joke about tone and everything because it's just such a stupid thing he's doing, it makes so much sense that you don't find it funny.

I fear my message might have been lost in my trying to make a joke... about your joking situation (yes, I do see that's a really bad idea... now).

You do need to ask him seriously, but you need to make it clear that it needs to stop. "It's just a dumb dad joke" is not an answer you can accept. That's him shrugging it off as not a big deal. But it is a big deal. And he needs to take it seriously. You're asking him to stop some socially offensive behavior. He should know this is unacceptable, but he doesn't seem to understand.

You need to force him to get it, no matter how hard it is to get him to hear you. (It shouldn't be that hard. How important to him can this stupid joke possibly be)

It makes me so sad to hear you take a break before maybe inching back closer. I am glad you took my advice. I just wish so badly I hadn't tried to be funny. (is it a guy thing? I don't think it is. I don't ever do that. I don't know why I decided to do it here)

[SteveSmith1985]

You need to (metaphorically) grab him by the collar, bring his face really close to yours and say: "look motherfucker, I don't like this stupid goddamn dad joke. If we are going to continue this friendship, you are going to have to never, ever, ever tell the goddamn joke to me again. One more time, and I swear to God, our friendship is over."

You might as well tell him you're serious enough to walk away. Rather than just doing it quietly. It's a stupid thing he's doing. If he didn't do it, you'd be fine with him. It's not unfair to make him stop. It's the same situation as if you were saying "I have this guy friend, who farts all the time while he's sitting next to me. It happens often".

Ok, so what the fuck? This dude doesn't have the social skills to know this is unacceptable, but is otherwise great. MAKE HIM stop farting while he's sitting next to you. It's very reasonable. He can't choose to not hear you. Right? Same exact thing in this situation. Why should you put up with that, or take "it's just a joke" as an answer you'll accept.

I think you need to go for round two (You do knock him out in this round. Don't worry. there is no round 3)

[bowenw]

Going forward ask him upfront if he is playing, or say you're not sure yet and what does he have in mind, or ask him what is he doing later.

[HollyK21]

I’d either ignore it or say something like “not hanging out with you” and walk off. Maybe the first time or two it got a chuckle but at this point it’s just kinda rude, mean, and pretty annoying for him to go so far as suggesting a plan and then being like JK.


At the same time though, now he’s done it enough that you know he isn’t serious so please stop falling into that line of conversation if you can avoid it.

[Fanfare690]

Stop falling for it. Or you can confront him about it and ask why he does that

[StevenMcGarrett]

Weird guy. It's like he wants to ask you out but chickens out.

[seeyounexttuesday]

IS the suggestion to do something with you?

[ShySocialButterfly]

Wanna go to (insert place here)

[seeyounexttuesday]

He sounds like a dickhead.

[BarryLiverstone]

He is joking around, not serious