Why do men insult the girl they cheated with when he gets caught?

[strawberrybaby3]

What is the psychology behind it? Why do they put down the woman they cheated with when they’re the ones who put so much effort into it. They like to downplay the situation when really it’s their fault.

Updates

1 y

I wasn’t cheated on. do they actually think this low of the woman they cheated with or is it all a lie so the ex takes him back?

[kitkatto]

Oh you’re right, I never actually noticed this but looking back, when my ex was caught cheating he started talking smack about the other girl. I think it’s a way for them to over compensate and showing you that they’re “on your side” whether it’s true or not. They just want to be on your good side so that you forgive them. Would love to hear what others have to say though.

[WhitneySnow]

Because they want you to feel like it didn’t mean anything

[Finchie40]

Because cheaters can’t take accountability for their selfish actions and behaviors, they always point fingers at someone else but never at themselves. They feel they do no wrong and try to play a victim when really they are the POS

[ProbablyClueless]

It's a defense mechanism. No one wants to feel like they're the bad guy in their own story.

[Novacane]

I think this is more general for both genders, but it can depend on how they got caught, for example, if the one who cheated told or did something that got them caught. Most people just need someone to blame, and since they lack accountability, they will try to attack whoever is next, basically like a scapegoat

[RingOfFire]

Isn't the psychology obvious? When they get caught they want to make it sound like they are distancing themselves from the object they used to deceive their partner to try to salvage their relationship and divert the anger and blame to the other woman instead of to themselves.

[Friendlybro79]

I don't have personal experience with this but knowing friends that have, it's different for everyone. There isn't a singular reason that applies every time to every man in this situation. People do things for various reasons like this unfortunately.

Possible answer is they are taking their frustrations out on the wrong person. Why? Well that's going to be where it differs per person. Doesn't make any of it right of course.

[Blueeyes81]

I would suspect it's because she's the side chick and not the main chick. One relationship is considered disposable and one is not (debatable). So when he gets caught he takes it out on the side chick.

Predictable all involved get what's coming.

[Bricealan]

@strawberrybaby3 I dont' know that they do insult the girl they cheated on. I only cheated one time, and she never found out, but if she HAD I would never have insulted her, that would have been even more stupid.

[MrChinaski]

It is called projection: the attribution to other people things you are ashamed of. Frankly it is a mental illness, but it is fairly common.

[kitkatto]

What about if they refused to talk badly about the other woman/man?

[MrChinaski]

@kitkatto Every bad relationship is bad in different ways, to paraphrase Dostoyevsky.

[MrChinaski]

I like your posts

[kitkatto]

Yay thank you!

[Vampirelover_12]

Because men don't want to own up to being nasty floozies.

[Fireguy17]

They are trying to shift the blame on to someone else instead of taking the blame for their own actions.

I dont think it has ever worked.

[aceleon]

Trying to make it look meaningless and butter up the cheated girl so they won't lose them.

[Hellraiser1984]

He's just using the girl he's cheating with usually. So basically she means nothing to him usually. So throwing her under the bus was always his intent.

[RedInnocent69]

To demean the side-chick relative to the girl he was supposed to be stuffing in the first place. It’s a natural extension of, it didn’t mean anything

[RedInnocent69]

I would hasten to add, some girls would say the same if they were caught

[RedInnocent69]

Update: A bit of both. Depends on the circumstances

[Anonymous]

they don't take responsibility, deflect and push away.

count good graces she is not bound to him. learn lesson or else.

[TonyMetal___86]

Thank god i was never a cheater and will never be!

When i love a woman, than i'll have only her and no one else!

[Pohjolan]

Cheaters are assholes? Who would have thought.

In other news water is wet and the sun will rise tomorrow.

[blackeagle007]

I know why. And that’s all I’ll say. Otherwise I’m gonna get blasted by others lashing out

[Anonymous]

Same reason women do it, one need only look in the mirror at your own gender to see the answer.

[Credentialmayhem]

Both genders do it because it’s part of the guilt trip

[AnonAndrew]

To deflect blame.

[laly520]

to deflect blame

[Babebytheshore85]

Because he never liked you.

[glennos89]

Definitely trying to keep the sinking ship a float

[beefcakebradybatson]

They're a**holes !!!

[nicfire171]

He’s just trying to get back in your good graces

[Kathy91_]

Cause you wasn’t supposed to find out.

[Saamee]

Why he cheated do you have an answer?

[jahaims]

Deflection

[Anonymous]

Such men are jerks.

[yotaman99]

Idiots