Can I guy have a girlfriend, but have deep feelings for another girl?

[Anonymous]

Can this even happen? Not so much he likes the look of the other girl, but actually have feelings for both? If so, can he really love his girlfriend or just likes her?

If this were to happen, why would the guy continue to be with the girlfriend knowing that he feels for another or hoping these feelings will subside?

How would he get over the other girl? Have you ever experienced this?

[SteveSmith1985]

Why would you continue to be with him! That's the question.

Sure a guy can end up having feelings for another girl when he has a girlfriend. That's just not acceptable... to any girlfriend (nor should it be).

If you put up with this, then there is no reason he won't continue to not choose either of you, but do whatever he's doing now.

No, if it were genuine love, then he would not be having feelings for someone else.

More to the point though... you... shouldn't put up with the position you've been put in. Your dignity should find this unacceptable.

If your boyfriend has feelings for another girl, you need to break up with him; unless he immidiately cuts all contact with this other girl. In other words, you need to make him choose. If he does not choose you (or if you are sure he will not cut contact with this other girl), then you need to end things.

You deserve a boyfriend who has feelings for you, and nobody else. If he cannot immidiately and completely abandon this other girl in order to keep you; he is not a guy you should continue trying to work things out with.

I know it's hard, but you're just looking at this the wrong way. You're wondering "is there some way to work this out? or wait this out?"

That's the wrong way to look at it. It makes sense to feel hurt, but... it doesn't make sense to put up with having to continually be hurt by sharing your boyfriend with some girl. You need to break up with him. If he begs you not to and offers to cut contact with the other girl... immidiately. Then ok, maybe you can work things out.

You cannot work things out while this other girl is someone your boyfriend continues interacting with. If he can no longer say that you are clearly more important to him than this other girl; you need to walk away. Sorry.

[Asker]

Thanks for this, appreciate your perspective, We have been together for 6 months so not that long, but he works with this other girl and I don’t think he can totally avoid her, I think he may have had a thing for her before me, I don’t know 💯 but I now get that impression. It’s hard because I really like him and thought it was going well, until he become more emotionally unavailable

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm sorry to hear that's the situation. Nevertheless, I think that you need to end this relationship. It's not fair to you, to have a boyfriend whose affection isn't yours exclusively. That is really the whole thing about being a boyfriend. It means that he chooses YOU, and only you... to give his heart to. If you no longer feel that's the case, it's time to end things.

Why should anyone stay in a relationship where the other person doesn't see them as special in a unique way? That is what being in a relationship means. It's an integral part of it. It is not really a relationship if he likes someone else too. It's going to be continually painful until you finally are fed up enough to leave (or until you end up being mistreated constantly and have to settle for being half a girlfriend.

I know it's hard... but it doesn't really matter how much you like him. He doesn't like you (the way he should, to be in a relationship with you). It's a matter of how you are going to allow yourself to be treated in your relationships. I don't think anyone deserves to be in a relationship where they know their partner is spending time with someone else they feel that way about. Don't you deserve to be with someone who treats you right? Being in a relationship with you, while having these feelings for this other girl is not right.

[DrPepper12]

Yes. Of course. It's possible to love several people!! We're social animals!! We are naturally inclined to!! This monagamy thing is so embedded into our mindset that we forget who & what we are!!

[Asker]

Yes I understand what you mean, thanks for this

[itsannalee]

Nope, it’s just their excuse to cheat.
If someone claims to have such a feeling like that, they are lying. They never have a feeling for you or another person. The feeling is only for themselves.

[Asker]

You mean he doesn’t care about either? I think he may have real feelings for this other girl,

[laraWM]

I think it's possible, you need to talk together to overcome it, if you want to

[Asker]

Yeah I just wonder if talking will do much if he already has feelings for her. He works with her so it’s not like he can avoid her 100%

[laraWM]

He may have feelings for her but you can try to decide together how you want to handle it

[Anonymous]

Yes, my friend she's a girl is going through this exact thing. She has a boyfriend whom she had a kid with. And she's also smitten by a guy online. she's thinking about leaving him smh

[Opinion Owner]

He loves her and doesn't want to break up just yet for the sake of the relationship and doesn't ask the other one out because he might not know how she feels

[Asker]

Yeah ok, sounds similar then. Thanks

[Pleasure_Treasure]

It's called being close friends, you degenerates.

[Asker]

Having strong feelings for another girl?

[Pleasure_Treasure]

You said it's not about her look, so the feeling isn't that he wants to breed her. Right?

[Asker]

Well I think it’s more than that and yes maybe he does. I think he has an emotional and physical connection with her.

[Shiprex]

Yes it's possible because you're young and still have urges to be safe in a relationship as well as excitement from thoughts about others.

[Vevv123]

No he can’t, and if he does it’s probably something else, like lust or confusion.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully they go away for my own sake.

[In_Trance]

Yeah

[Anonymous]

he's using you