Does my guy friend not like me in that way?

[Anonymous]

He was my uni friend. However, he and I didn't really talk all that much. I kind of got the vibe that he didn't dislike me, but he wasn't interested in being close friends, either. And I was fine with that. His birthday was only a week before mine. I didn't get him anything. So I was pleasantly surprised when he chose to come to my birthday party. He came with a beautiful bouquet of 3 dozen pink roses. It's the most beautiful bouquet I've ever seen in my life.

I thought he liked me after. I tried asking him if he wanted to do homework together about a week later. He said he was really busy (but offered to send me the questions a few days after). And honestly, after the party, it was kind of like things went back to normal for us. Like, we'd talk often enough, but it was always small talk, and we never interacted outside of class.

He’s an international student, and a few days before he left to his home country, I had a gathering at my house. He opted to spend most of that time talking to another girl. He then walked with her to her car after. It’s been a few months since he went back to his home country. And he’s always one of the first people to watch my Instagram stories. He’ll rewatch them, too, especially if it’s a picture of me.

I shouldn't complain. I should treat it like what it is. A guy who I thought merely tolerated me turned out to genuinely care, and gave me something special. He treated me like a queen, even when I didn't treat him like a kind on his birthday.

[Summeroflove]

People can be hard to read because people express attraction differently there are people you would never suspect would feel a thing for you that way who do as well as people who show all the signs but don’t. There are a few things that could be going on here so I would recommend if you like him be direct in expressing that, that’s the only way you’ll get a clear answer. So what are possibilities?

One possible thing is he does have feelings for you but due to being a international student he doesn’t want to get himself too attached to someone that may not work out once he goes back to his own country as well as not wanting to put someone else through that either.

Second possibility is that he does like you but as a friend. If someone sees you as a friend there must be something likable about you because you wouldn’t even be friend-zoned if someone disliked you entirely you would be enemy zoned or fake zoned.

Another possibility is that he did like you but you waited too long and he simply moved on found someone else. Especially if you weren’t showing a lot of signs he may assume the same thing you did that you weren’t really that into him. Therefore he moved on.

I can’t tell you how he feels as I can’t read his mind. But just based off what you said that gives possible ideas to what could be going on. As far as being busy that may have been genuine but he did help you so he didn’t give you the cold shoulder.

My advice. If he means enough to you take the risk of reaching out and seeing where you stand with him and then decide where you’re going to go from there.

If he accepts congratulations. Is it a risk? Yes. But just take things slow you never know unless you try.

If he declines or says he’s not interested or gives a clear answer that’s no. For any reason. Respect that and take it for what it is especially if he’s respectful. You’ll have closure as well as can move on not wasting anymore time on it. If you need to grieve you can start that process.

If he doesn’t give a clear answer. Balls in his court. If he’s interested he knows where to find you eventually if he doesn’t you’ll move on.

[teamvic]

I can't say that he's definitely into you

If you take away those flowers, would you still think he could be into you?

I mean if all we got to go off of is him viewing stories, then you may be screwed

Maybe he likes how you look. But I would be sitting by the window hoping everyday for him to come

[Asker]

Without those flowers, I have these moments in mind.

1. He once yelled at a professor because their instructions were unclear on an assignment. Also, this professor kind of singled me out. And he revealed months later that a big reason why he yelled at this professor was because the professor singled me out.

2. I admit I was kind of whatever about fashion at first. But one day, I dressed up real nice. Cute dress, makeup, everything. We sit far apart at lunch, and there was moment where we were just staring at each other.

3. His birthday was celebrated only a week before mine. A classmate told him to make a wish. He said “yes, there are lots of things to wish for”. And he locked eyes with me.

4. I told him a sad story about my family (I have a speech impediment, and so does he) and his eyes started welling up.

[teamvic]

The issue im having with your other scenarios is these can alll be mistaken as it being something else

Perhaps you are right, and he does like you, but these are all things from your point of view seeing it as such

If I liked a girl I wouldn't go talking to other girls in front of her

As I said he could very well like you. But I wouldn't bet my life on it as opposed to him not liking you

[retarb]

Men don't do subtlety very well. I would think yer just a good friend to me. He prolly thinks the same. Matter of fact, the only reason I know you like this guy is because you said you do. Go ask him out.

[spartan55]

So dude brings you three dozen roses and you ask him to study with you? You are completely clueless.

[WonderingManII]

Sounds complicated.

[SotiCoto]

It doesn't matter now, does it? He left.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he thinks of you as his friend.