Did I lose feelings or trust?

[Anonymous]

My crush had been giving me attention and then ignoring me for a long time. It made me miserable and I seemed so desperate. It was 100% a situationship. I recently realized that this wasn't going to end unless I got over him and I moved on. But now all of a sudden he's coming back to me and putting in a bunch of effort - starting all our conversations and doing me favors. It's like he's realized that I didn't like the way he was treating me. But now I don't know if I like him, since it's been a little bit since we talked and I don't know if I should keep it going. I also like another guy now and I don't want to let go of that guy either. Honestly I feel so guilty because the second he started putting in effort, I have lost feelings. Basically, I don't know if I still have feelings for him and they're just clouded by my lack of trust, or if I actually got over him. I also don't know if he genuinely wants this, or if he'll start ignoring me again like usual. Something is telling me he's going to keep trying. For now, I'm just seeing how much effort he's willing to put into me, since I put in all the effort for months. Is this the right choice?

[spartan55]

You're not going to like this, but you should look in the mirror on this one. You made a mistake accepting a stupid situationship in the first place. It's fundamentally based on disrespect, and it's NOT a committed relationship. You were assuming it was. Situationships are just a fancy way to label fwbs. You can dress it up and word salad it to death, but they are bullshit, and I don't know why anyone would agree to one. It always seems to be the women that get hurt even though they agreed to it in the first place.

[spartan55]

Also, the first guy is putting in effort so he gets sex again. Don't be naive.

[Asker]

It was totally my fault, I should've realized sooner, but me and this guy have known each other for 5 years, and have liked each other too. It was not an "friends with benefits" because we are still in highschool :) Obviously I've recognized that it wasn't a healthy connection - that was why I left in the first place. I was simply asking if it seems he's ready to be in a relationship, which he wasn't comfortable with before.

[spartan55]

No, he misses the free sex like I said. Explain the difference between a situationship and friends with benefits?

[Asker]

The difference is that we weren't having sex, respected each other, and took each other's feelings into account.

[spartan55]

So there was NEVER any sex involved?

[Asker]

Nope, it's never been brought up either

[spartan55]

That's a good thing. Respect yourself young lady. Don't get into these imitation relationships. friends with benefits, situationships and the like should not be an option.

[Asker]

I agree. It's definitely important to have boundaries until you're in a committed relationship

[spartan55]

True. I apologize for my earlier assumptions.

[Asker]

No worries