As a feminist am I a hypocrite for being turned off by my boyfriend who wimped out after a man harassed me?

[Anonymous]

He didn't even say anything

[glennos89]

I understand you are turned off by this. Woman want protection but he clearly couldn't provide that for you. But honestly you are a feminist and the majority of feminists are fighting for equality. So personally I think you should defend yourself because that's what equality also means then.

Not all feminists are the same so don't feel personally attacked by this message but if feminists desperately want to be equal to a man then they should also be expecting that the man no longer sticks up for you because you are equals.

Most feminists don't really want equality but they only want equality when it's in their own favor. You can't fight for equality but expect someone else to clean up your mess. For this reason I absolutely don't support modern feminism anymore. Modern feminism is for woman who want to pick the benefits of equality but not the downsides of it. Modern feminism brings nothing goods to society and its creating problems and hate between both genders

[OneViewpoint]

Yeah sweet cheeks. You need to step up and defend yourself. You don't need a man to fight your fights for you. Until you do.

You can also pay half the dinner bill. Open the car door for yourself. Hold the door for your boyfriend once in a while when entering or leaving a building. Plan a date. Call to make sure he got home OK. And be there for him when his car gets a flat tire in a rain storm.

You don't get to keep all the good stuff and get rid of all the stuff that's inconvenient for you. You want men to change? OK, that needs to happen. But when you're making a higher income and calling men pigs, well your behavior needs to change too. Maybe even say "thank you" more than once a year.

[Kelley1]

Of course, he didn't. He is not some fool that would get his ass kicked over something minor. Bigger, stronger men have always taken women from weaker men. In past times, he would have fucked the woman which is what she would have wanted. She would return to her man, after he discarded her. Isn't that what you wanted?

[Asker]

I will admit the other man was more attractive after seeing my boyfriend cower

[Kelley1]

That is natural. Google, "8,000 years ago, 17 women reproduced for every 1 man." Women have always been attracted to the Alpha males. Even today, (I believe) 20% of men fuck 80% of the women.

They are not sexually attractive, but I am not critical of a man who avoids a fight he has zero chance of winning, such as against a bigger, stronger, and more athletic man.

[Dongie]

Hence, the club, handful of hair, and a cave. And women say we are Neanderthal!

[Billlewis]

Damn... reading this is, for me, a hundred times better than even the most passionate sex. Seriously.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You want a partner with integrity, he clearly lost his

[Shiprex]

Yes you are. BUT it's a bit of a lose-lose-lose situation for men here because men will face a situation where if they DO get physical and involved in something they MAY not come out on top, they risk being seen as weak and pathetic by the woman who was affected. She loses respect for him.
If they DO beat the perpetrator then the affected woman may see the capacity for violence as something of an "ick" they don't want to be exposed to. She loses respect for him.
If they do NOTHING then the woman loses respect because he didn't apply the "patriarchy" gender role of chivalrous saviour and stop this dastardly behaviour for his feeble and offended infantilised woman. She loses respect for him.

So, you see the dilemma is not an easy puzzle to pass through and it's not always worth the risk because people getting stabbed, beaten or murdered isn't the sort of story you want to be remembered for.

[Dongie]

Excellent disection of the woes of man.

[Shiprex]

@Dongie Thanks

[Dongie]

de nada

[ChicoFromThe305]

Id imagine it's only normal for women to sync protection with masculinity but I guess if you are one of those women that believe they don't need protection and can protect yourself then even tho you are attracted to protective traits and that's totally normal, it is somewhat hypocritical to want him to do something about it, if you claim independence when it comes to you being able to defend yourself.

[Summeroflove]

Well people shouldn’t be harassing anyone but a lot of feminists are hypocrites. Such as demanding men take on the more traditional roles of men but at the same time getting angry when anything’s expected of her. Saying we shouldn’t objectify women (nobody should) but at the same time say im a proud hoe and don’t slut shame me.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he wimped out? Maybe he thought escalation wasn't the right option for the situation. Sometimes walking away is the best way to stay safe. It really depends on the situation and how likely someone is to engage you in a fight. Nevermind your own fighting prowess, weight class disparity, and if they have a weapon.

[MrChinaski]

I don't know the story, but he should both stand up for you and try to defuse the situation. A delicate balancing act. Nobody benefits from a fist fight.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

No, because it doesn't have anything to do with feminism, since it's a feeling you had, a feeling isn't political, it's just a feeling.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Though, after having this feeling, you passed judgement, you judged your own feeling and evaluated that your feeling didn't match your ethics. But again, a feeling is a feeling, it is disconnected from ethical standpoints.

[Pohjolan]

First of all what did actually happen?

Are we talking here about proper harassment or just another feminist getting triggered by some microagression?

He might just have tought that it was a nothing burger for all we know.

[Anonymous]

Was the other man gigger than your boyfriend? If so, what's your excuse for not just protecting yourself?

[Opinion Owner]

*bigger

[Joshydavid25]

Depends on if you were actually harassed or if the guy just said something you didn't like, and you seen it as harassment..

[jahaims]

Um.. you are an equal. It's your job to stand up for yourself. You just want all the benefits without the negatives.

[Ariesman81]

Yeah, you are. Men will protect what we deem valuable. He apparently didn't deem you valuable enough. Probably because of your behaviors in the past.

[genericname85]

yeah you are. men have the same right as women to be fearfull and protected. why didn't you protect yourself as a strong and independend woman?

[Staximus]

Your boyfriend is a bitch boy. Whether he would have won or lost the fight, he should have stood up for you

[Staximus]

You're not a hypocrite if you don't around saying you can do everything a man can do and you don't need a man to do anything for you and rah rah rah. In this case you did need a man to do something for you and he did not

[Dongie]

As a feminist why didn't you give the man a sound thrashing?

[Dongie]

And ALL feminist are bloody hypocrites.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Nope your not a hypocrite cause what woman wants to be with a man that can't or won't protect her. He's a lame dump his wimpy ass

[spartan55]

Could you explain what happened in more detail?

[RedInnocent69]

No. Standing up for you isn’t misogynist

[Chazmatazz269]

Absolutely

[Anonymous]

Yep.