Would you stay with a partner who thinks they're better than you and throws it in your face during arguments?

Question

We had a small disagreement, and he ended up listing everything he thinks makes him more accomplished than me career, hobbies, fitness, even how early he wakes up. He later apologized, saying it was said in anger, but I still feel numb and betrayed. Is an apology enough when someone crosses that kind of line?

Cormac995 · Accepted Answer

That's what my dad did for 10 years. Eventually he couldn't take the abuse anymore and had an affair. TBH I don't even blame him. My mom was a bad wife and she can be a really shitty person sometimes. She's very selfish and has a martyr complex and I've never once ever had her apologies to me for something that was her fault. She makes personal attacks when she loses arguments and on multiple occasions she slapped my dad. He never even raised his hand to her in their entire relationship AND marriage. So yea I really don't hate my dad for it if anything I blame my mom.

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

I think you’re leaving something out. Men don’t value any of those things in a partner. So unless you started some sh*t about who brings more value in those ways, it’s highly unlikely he even thinks about it, let alone feels the need to talk about it. Even for the sake of being petty.

alli-112 · Accepted Answer

If it's a consistent issue, or an issue that you think you can't personally forgive, then I think it's possible to write it off as something said in the heat of the moment, especially if he made a genuinely apology and acknowledged that he was at fault. But if it's something he does regularly, even subtly, or if it really just crossed the line and you're not going to be able to move on for whatever reason, end it. It's definitely a red flag, but it's up to you how to respond.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

I would not, but in your case it was only one argument and it would depend how sincere his apology was.

rtj1211 · Answer

Partners don't compete destructively.

This 'partner' is not a partner, they're acting out subconscious desires to be in confrontational work situations where they can 'win'. You know, like a trial lawyer, a business negotiator, a demanding sports coach, a serjeant major in the army.

Genie23 · Answer

No, it's okay/understandable to get mad at your partner sometimes but to say that kind of thing would make me think that's what he thinks of me and has been comparing for a while so it's better to leave so he can find someone who's 'better' than him.

AviatorTom · Answer

That's a sign of insecurity. In an argument, both sides try to win. He couldn't win the argument, so he changed the topic.

Arguments happen in relationships. It's not a reason to end things. What's important is what is done after the argument. In this case, he apologized, which is good. What else can he do now? What else would you expect him to do?

nawtee_me · Answer

No, relationships are about helping one another to grow and be a better version of themselves. If that is not happening then the other person has failed. It was their job to help you grow. You were like that in the beginning and they failed to help them to be a better you. But they would rather blame you than take the blame that they should.
with that said it was also your job in the relationship to help them grow out of that selfishness…. So you failed too……

EmmaMary · Answer

Now where have I seen this question before. 🤔

JesseP1nk · Answer

That is very bad. It means one of you wants to "win" and other must... "lose" ... Ok... how the other person who is gonna "lose" will feel? Bitter? More angry? And that ofcourse is a little step closer to the breakup.

Billlewis · Answer

Are you kidding? Of *course* I'd do absolutely anything for an arrogant woman who doesn't *think* she's superior to me, but *knows* she is, and the more selfish she is, the more generous I'll be in return.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Sometimes there is good reasons you should see other men.

RavVid · Answer

Women tend to pick guys who are better than they are. Your mating strategy is perhaps what has betrayed you :) :) :) It is a consequence of hypergamy.

Geo1970 · Answer

Why not turn the tables around and point out every Single fact that makes you better than him. Voilà, Have a bit of that, (Metaphorically speaking, raising two fingers At him).

overlord337645 · Answer

i would humble them and dump them after all if they are better than me they might as well find someone there level

glennos89 · Answer

Never. I hate people who find themselves better then everyone around them. These people have way to much ego and not enough compassion for others

molonski2 · Answer

Depends whether it is true or not I guess , It seems you agree with him right?

JohnnyB123321 · Answer

Absolutely not. I’d lose interest in her so fast. I move on pretty quick for things like that.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

That would be draining. That isn’t a relationship. It’s competition.

SamWinchester058 · Answer

It sounds like the real question you are battling with is if he's right or not...

IWILLPLEASEYOU · Answer

The chance I will be able to take the crap is less than 0.

Summeroflove · Answer

No that’s not worth it

spartan55 · Answer

A Boon and Smith novel?

Anonymous · Answer

Why would you want to?

worldscolide · Answer

Not only no, but fuck no.

LiamJHayden · Answer

0.00% I'd tolerate that.

jahaims · Answer

Did he lie about anything or just point out facts?

Anonymous · Answer

Sure, if she's my type of girl, I would.

Anonymous · Answer

No. But I'm a guy.

slatyb · Answer

Of course not.

DishLady · Answer

Nope.

AndrésC64 · Answer

Absolute not.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes i would

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