Father-In-Law kissing my neck?

[Lillyana32]

Hi everyone.

recently my father-in-law has started to quickly but noticeably kiss my neck during a hug. The hug being either like a thankyou or a I’m proud type hug. He’s never kissed me before ever and it seems strange to me that it’s on the neck and not the cheek as I’ve only even been kissed on the neck by my husband and for other kinda reasons.
My FIL is (55 male) I’m (20 female).

what’s your thoughts? I really need them !!!
Ps. I have also told my husband he’s aware but doesn’t know how he feels (he believes it’s friendly ness but he doesn’t seem sure just not saying it)

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa girl, that's a super uncomfortable and inappropriate situation with your father-in-law. The fact that he's suddenly started kissing your neck during hugs is just super sketchy and crosses major boundaries, especially with the age gap.

I can totally understand why you and your husband are feeling so unsure and uneasy about it. Even if he claims it's just "friendliness", the neck kisses are a very intimate, sexual gesture that has no place in a normal family relationship.

This is a huge red flag, and you're absolutely right to be disturbed by it. At 55 years old, your father-in-law should know better than to be making advances like that on a young woman, especially his own son's wife. That's just messed up.

I really think you need to have a serious talk with both your husband and your father-in-law about this. Make it 100% clear that the neck kissing is unacceptable and makes you deeply uncomfortable. Set firm boundaries and don't be afraid to involve other family members if he refuses to stop.

Your safety and comfort have to come first here. Don't let him try to brush it off or make you feel like you're overreacting. Trust your gut - if something feels off, it probably is. Protect yourself and stand your ground, girl. You deserve to feel safe and respected in your own family.

I know it's a super awkward and sensitive situation, but you can't ignore it. Speak up, get support from your husband, and don't back down. You got this! Wishing you all the strength and courage.

[SteveSmith1985]

My eyebrows almost shot right off my face when I saw your question. That is... weird as hell. Creepy.

Your husband thinks its friendliness? That's... insane.

Does he do this to other people?

Shit, I mean, you need to say/do something to make it known you're uncomfortable. (as you should be! Because that's not normal. Not on the neck. No. that's creepy).

I wish I had better advice for you. I wish your husband was able to recognize this is creepy. But it seems you're on your own. But you need to figure out how to say "Please don't kiss me on the neck. The cheek is fine, but I don't like it when you kiss me on the neck"...

Because that's fucking reasonable. And it doesn't seem like anybody else is going to say something. But saying something will get it to stop (I'm hoping and assuming...) but also... makes clear your boundaries going forward... if your FIL has more long-term creepy intentions.

This is messed up. nobody kisses somebody on the neck non-sexually. That's what cheeks are for.

[Lillyana24]

Sorry can’t get into my other acc 🤦🏻‍♀️
I’m glad you still have your brows 😂 it’s a good start. Do you think he’s doing it cause he’s attracted? He has a wife?

[jamesgoldman]

Seems odd but you've at least told you partner so just keep him in the loop if anything else happens I guess

[Lillyana32]

Thankyou for your comment:)
I know it seems odd. I’m a natural overthinker and just wanted to see if my thought pattern is accurate. He’s always been nice and kind. Never done me wrong but to kiss my neck just seems abit out there. Again with him not ever kissing me before. He said my dress the other day really showed my figure. And it’s keep me up not knowing how he means things

[bowenw]

It does not seem like a normal thing for a relative to do. Was he trying to kiss your cheek, which is normal, but he is too short to reach it?

[Lillyana24]

Hi sorry can’t get into my other acc 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m 5ft 3, he’s 6ft so not too short no. And deffo wasn’t meant for my neck the kiss sits right where my neck meets my shoulder maybe just up from it

[bowenw]

It sounds like he may like you more than a father-in-law should. He may be testing you with the quick neck kisses to see how you react with the hopes of trying more. Please feel free to DM if you wish.

[Lillyana24]

I suppose he might be testing. I see him in a week so will update (he didn’t do it at the funereal last week I think for the obvious reason)

[bowenw]

Please update with what happens when you see him in a week?

[Shiprex]

It's maybe a meant to be a closer bond but it sounds unusual.

[seeyounexttuesday]

that seems odd. Tell your FIL that you appreciate him showing affection, but that you're uncomfortable with him kissing your neck.

[Lillyana24]

Can’t get into my other acc 🤦🏻‍♀️ I don’t mind him doing it’s more unsure why now? Why not the check? Why my neck? He’s not kissed me ever before and I’ve been through some tough times…

[seeyounexttuesday]

@Lillyana24 nah, not acceptable

[Lillyana24]

Okay so I saw him at a funereal the other day and he dint do it then. Could that be cause of the situation (funereal) or people being about? I see him again this week. Will update in a week :)

[hello4433]

Gte mad at him the next time he does it. You are NOT his wife but daughter-in-law

[Lillyana24]

I can’t get mad at him, that’s not me and he’s to kind (I can’t get in to my other acc 🤦🏻‍♀️)

[nl171]

Seems friendly to me. It may be a cultural thing

[vj0090]

Let's connect in chat?

[Lillyana32]

K. Tho what do you think? :)

[vj0090]

Will tell in chat for sure.. haha

[Lillyana32]

I can’t message in chat yet, only just joined site sorry

[vj0090]

Oh ok

[Lillyana32]

Message me

[vj0090]

U have to follow my profile back.. then only I will be able to text.. your setting says only profile followed by you can text u

[wkhan_87]

It's strange behaviour from your fl

[Lillyana32]

I know. It’s just hard to know how he means it. He’s always been so nice. So could just be friendly? But then I’m questioning it and I’m not sure why. I guess cause the area he’s kissed 🤷🏻‍♀️

[wkhan_87]

I think you should let your husband know about that.

[Lillyana32]

I have let him know, but told him not to tell him as I don’t want the drama or awkwardness. And there’s a funereal this week so I don’t wanna add pressure. But then I’m gonna be dressed nice at the funeral and he’s going to be away from him wife and my husbands gonna be with other family. And I don’t like social situations meaning I’ll be with his dad cause he’s all I know.

[Anonymous]

Does the guy have a wife?