Brother in law hitting on me?

[Anonymous]

not sure how to handle the situation- shud i tell my sister about any of it or not? he's been this way for a few years.. he gives me stares, looks, nods and all types of things... he even hits on me openly in front of her and others and i know its made her insecure or uncomfortable. he almost acts as if he'd prefer me over her or something... he even once 'accidentally' grabbed my breast but it wasn't by accident and kind of messed up... and in front of others... he's made comments such as "im so sweet and innocent" and once called my sister n mother 'weird'... this was years ago..

this time i went to visit them and he continued hitting on me in diff ways... he acted weird but also sort of 'aggressive' as if he was angry or mad.. then at one point, i told them i had tried 'pot' ie theyre kind of religious and wouldn't go for that, and then he looked at me in the mirror as if "EH"? like he was excited almost as if he now thinks im a bad girl or he has a chance. then he got kind of aggressive after that- we were eating at a table and he got closer to me, and then began making "Growling" noises which were creepy... almost as if he 'wanted' me so bad and couldn't control himself, or he was showing me he wanted me. i was a bit creeped out and moved away... also before he went to bed or at night he'd say to me "do you need anything from me"? and it was more sexual obviously... i just said.. nope im fine... he'd say "glass of water"? but again... he kept saying from me. Then after he made growling noises that one night, also earlier, he began sort of touching my sister's hair or her and then he'd stare at me or smile.. as if "interested"? or to try to turn me on or something.. he did it several times.. i just ignored it.. then we were supposed to go somewhree n he said in front of my sis "after im done with this im all yours." it was like 1am too. b4 he went ot bed that night he was upset and said again ok well is there ANYTHING u need from me?

Updates

+1 y

he was also breathing heavy turned on while saying that.. also i suspect there cud be a chance he might be doing something with the nanny but i need proof.. and its just creepy... he usually hits on me pretty aggressively and if i just gave him the go signal he'd cheat on her with no problem.. so i find it weird

[knightengale]

It sounds like you need to tell someone in the family. Maybe your sister and him at the same time that you are uncomfortable with this. It's clearly that they might not believe you (he will come up with an excuse or something - not that you are lying :) )

But you need to do something before the accidental grab becomes something more :-/

[Asker]

i would, but im scared its going to cause issues such as my 'sister' getting upset im accusing him of this.. like it'll open pandora's box.. my thing is to try to get her to put a nannycam up b/c i suspect him and the nanny based on some things i noticed, and then things can go from there.. my sister suspects he likes me or something cud be happening but i dont think she knows about the things he's most likely doing with others

[Streamhopper]

That's super creepy. But I'm not sure what you can do about it. Maybe get the family involved? Or at least your sister. She needs to back you up on this. It sounds like he has some serious issues that need addressing.

[Asker]

yeah i agree--he does.. but they all do... its confusing. im wondering if my sister knows or suspects things- like maybe he's with another woman--he does have issues i just learned of so its just confusing

[cinderelli]

you should clearly tell him first that he makes you uncomfortable.. and if he keeps on doing this then tell your sis.. that you can no longer visit her because he makes you uncomfortable.. don't go too blunt... because it might create a big mess.. just tell her this.. and she will get the point without being angry..

[Genie23]

This is so messed up. Wth, your sis married a really pathetic creep.

"He even once 'accidentally' grabbed my breast but it wasn't by accident"
👆 After reading this, I'm shocked you didn't slap him. Tell him to Stay the hell away or you'll have to tell about this to your sister

[Asker]

yeah its messed up but... we were at a get together and he was taking the baby from me, and reached down and grabbed my breast, and it wasn't by accident.. i thought.. ok i juts got groped by the jerk--like he took the chance he had... he's sort of a little prominent and people respect him a lot so its hard

[Genie23]

But, if you don't be rude, and say it out loud. To stop this... He would think that you're enjoying this, he'll think you want him to chase him.
Be a little brave and tell him to stay the hell away, you don't like it

[Asker]

oh really... well i def dont enjoy it... its that im surprised he's so bold about it.. the problem is my family has been abusive to me in the past--and treats me a certain way--and he i think knows that so maybe he's taking advantage of it too but the flirting started before he knew that.. im scared if i say something to him then he'll go to my sister and say that im accusing him of "things" that aren't happening or say its in my head... and try to make me look bad... i want to stay quiet for now..

[Asker]

he'll deny it too.. like what.. im not doing anything? they live in a diff state so it'll be a while b4 i see him again but i dont really want to... im creeped out by him and i think he's done things with some others..

[Genie23]

Abusive.. I'm SO sorry to hear that... What you can do now is just tell your sister and tell her about his intentions. I hope she'll understand :/

[Genie23]

He is so creepy and disgusting. Thank God, you all live in different state. I guess try to avoid family gathering for a while that is after you tell your sis about this situation

[Asker]

thanks :) and yes it's ok I mean... you're right i should tell her and I will i think at the right time? Right now I really believe that he's done things with others and im trying to see if there's a way to prove it or attempt to have her put a camera in (if he's against the idea then you know it's true)... I know I should def avoid meeting up with him or really keep my distance for sure--its just sad b/c I did see him as a friend, sort of and I liked him as a person but now I realize, he just has some major issues and is probably a psychopath too

[Genie23]

That's a really good idea, actually... Cause I also think he's cheating on her. Tell her the truth when you are ready. Make her understand what's going on, it will open her eyes and you might want to avoid visiting or family gathering for few months at least... Til the situation cools down

[Asker]

yeah.. he is just so creepy and stupid.. i have other suspicions of who with which are really messed up--its just such a mess. he goes on these business trips to other countries too and everytime he does my sister gets upset.. not sure why.. also its like she seemed helpless when he said "after this, im all YOURS." and u could tell she was scared when we went to this thing together- oddly he said to 'take separate cars' and i think its bc/ he was hoping to hide if anythign did happen and tried to stop at a place later--it was weird.. all of it is just crazy

[Genie23]

That's so disgusting. He can't be trusted and I don't think he'll ever change... I guess, the reason she's stayinh with him and forgives him- it's cause of the child. I don't get it why the hell people get married if they can't be faithful... Ugh.

Your sister have to give him a warning. Tell him, she'd leave him and take the child with her if he doesn't stop messing around

[Asker]

you're totally right.. he def can't be trusted and he won't change... I think she's in denial or maybe hasn't seen anything major happen... but even if it does i wonder if she'll forgive him... the way she looked at me as if she didn't trust me with him.. she was scared something would happen.. i do wonder why she gets so upset when he goes on a trip... two years ago she freaked out and came to visit us down south... i thought maybe she's lonely? i dont know.. it's weird...

im thinking he's probably a sex addict and a cheat now and I want to try to expose him somehow.. i wonder if she even suspects about the nanny.. it's so creepy all of it... if i find out any of it's true im going to push her to divorce him b/c u can't stay with someone like this.. it's so messed up... all of it is just disturbing and yes gross..

[Genie23]

I agree with you 100% You should tell her and make her see what's she's been denying. She'll become miserable if she lived with such jerk all her life

[Genie23]

I'm really sorry you had to go through that. :/

[zombiebabe]

damn!! if i had a brother in law like this i would completely ignore him and be grossed out!! i mean you are his wife's sister and he should respect you... if i was you i would tell your sister about it and keep my distances from him... that's really creepy coming from him

[Asker]

i know.. it's creepy.. its just that.. he seems like a really cool guy and lots of people like him but he does have issues.. he's also semi famous well sort of but not really... a little well known and its just messed up all of it.. i realize now what a scumbag he is and just dont have much respect for him

[zombiebabe]

i don't think that if he was really that "cool guy" he would act in such a creepy way also if someone is popular doesn't mean that he's perfect

[peachblossomluck]

You need to avoid being around him at all until you figure out how to address the problem. Some people don't have boundaries and he is being inappropriate in any case.

[Anonymous]

I think you should just let him fuck you one night, maybe that'll get it out of his system and he won't bother you no more.