Why would a guy be afraid to get wild or dominate with me?

[Anonymous]

He’s gentle and doesn’t take charge….. I know it’s in him but he just doesn’t with me… it makes me feel not good enough or something…idk… why is he holding back

[alli-112]

Are you sure it's his preference to do so? Even if he did it in the past, that doesn't mean he wants to now.

[Asker]

But that’s what I want… I want to feel his dominance and power

[alli-112]

I mean, he kind of has to want it too though? Like, if he finds it really uncomfortable is he supposed to make himself uncomfortable to suit your preferences? I think this is something you near to have a clear and honest conversation on and either you do want the same thing and that's great or y'all need to find a way to compromise that suits you both.

[Anonymous]

The better question to ask yourself is why does lack of dominance or wildness not make you feel good enough?

[Asker]

Because I feel like he would do it with other women… I just don’t feel desired … I feel like I don’t have all of him

[Opinion Owner]

You have some past trauma to unpack if you really equate not being roughed up and dominated to not being loved. That is not a normal response for the average person.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, not being desired, but I think you look at both the same way. Love and desire.

[Asker]

How so? It makes me feel more loved to know he’s not holding back

[Opinion Owner]

And who taught you that?

[Asker]

No one just something I feel

[Opinion Owner]

Well, it started somewhere. You don’t just wake up one day and decide that dominance and abuse equals love.

[Asker]

I’m not saying abuse but passion. I want to feel more passion too…

[Opinion Owner]

Passion is not the same as being dominated, and you have to understand that being so aggressive is not the way every man shows love. If you want passion, that’s about intimacy. It’s foreplay and attention to each others bodies when you’re doing the deed. Ask yourself what’s wrong, is he disconnected? Not making you feel good? Talk yourself through the issue so you can figure out what exactly you need from you you’re asking. It’s also important to respect his boundaries because if you’re asking for some 50 Shades roughness that is NOT every man’s lane. Maybe you need a man more in that lane.

[BarryLiverstone]

He doesn’t want to abuse or hurt you. Why do you want him to be more aggressive?

[Asker]

Because why not? He’s a big guy like a football player I was expecting him to kind of give me the business… not be gentle. It’s annoying

[BarryLiverstone]

You already asked about this on the other question.

But he’s being carful. If he got rough and broke your back.. you would stop having sex with him

[BarryLiverstone]

I had drunk sex in college and the next day she had bruises.. not a good outcome

[Wise4myage]

Does he know how you feel?

Maybe he's just not into that?

[Anonymous]

Does he have links at all or is the man vanilla?

[Asgard356]

Maybe he's worried you're not into that

[Asker]

I am because I told him

[Asgard356]

Tell him you're dying for it

[Asgard356]

Like you need it, gotta have it

[Asker]

I did

[Asgard356]

Like that you want him to ravage you, destroy you, let him have his way with you, work you... be descriptive, guys luv it

[Asker]

I did and he laughed

[Asgard356]

Wtf then find someone who wants to do you all over hard

[beefcakebradybatson]

He's a shy lad ala Yours Truly.

[Tom567456]

Some guys are afraid they won't be man enough