If a guy acts like he likes you during the school year, but then doesn’t try to get ahold of you all summer, what should you think?

[Brittanyrunner06]

So a guy at my school kept giving me a lot of attention at the end of the school year and other people in my class kept telling me he likes me. He flirted with me a lot, for a few weeks, and asked for my number. I gave it to him during exams (we had one on the same day) and we made plans to hang out soon (no specifics were mentioned). He seemed really interested but that was 2 months ago and he never contacted me. I know he didn’t lose my number because he put it in his phone after I gave it to him.
I thought he might have gotten a girlfriend but was told by a friend of mine that he’s definitely still single. Now I start school again in a few weeks and I think it’s going to be awkward. Oh, and I don’t have his number. I just figured I’d get it from him when he texted me.
Now I don’t know what to think. Why would someone do that?

[Kaneki05]

Since he asked you for the number that seems more he's got the confidence so I can't think of any reason why he wouldn't besides he don't like you. But then I don't get why push for it anyway and knowing it will be awkward when back.

The really big out there guess is he had interest in another girl during the break, don't mean anything actually happened but the distraction was enough to make him think let's see where this goes first. And now he's going to try make some excuse to why not to you knowing it will be awkward.

A more simple still out there idea as I think this only applies to myself, I just selfishly wanted to play videos games and relax without anyone else bothering me. Though if I was confident and crushing on a girl... I think I would want her to bother me lol so yeah I see this as far out too.

So in reality I have no idea but my first idea is more likely, seems like a dumb thing us guys do. Playing it as if we can choose between two girls. He'll learn not to do that again if so but if that is indeed the reason you should find someone better.

Well that's the advice either way tbh as I don't see a reasonable reason to not get in touch all it takes is one message, and could even explain perhaps the reason. I will say a guy typically don't explain when they don't want to come across as an asshole.

[HawkPerception]

At your age, people tend to think of things as awkward when they're really not. The mature thing to do would be to confront him about it and see what he thinks. Say something along the lines of...

"Hey I just want to know honestly if you have any interest in me. If you could come clean about it, I'd really appreciate it."

It's better to just be transparent about it. If he says no, great... you can now move on from that thought and drama. If he says yes, it might be the start of your relationship. Either way, it's a win-win.

Don't overthink things. Have some courage. Life is as simple as your make it.

[Brittanyrunner06]

I plan on doing that when school starts but, since he is the one who has my number (I don’t have his), and he is the one who pursued me and said he was going to contact me to make plans, I’m not about to put in a bunch of effort trying to track him down. I’m pretty turned off on the whole situation at this point and I lost a lot of respect for him. I mean, how hard is it to just send someone a text after you say that you’re going to? Even if he actually has something going on that is taking up most of his time, sending a text takes a few seconds.

[HawkPerception]

Story of my life. That has happened to me so many times. People are like that. Very two faced.

Don't give it a second thought. He said he'd reach out, so all you can do is wait. The more you think about it, the more you'll overthink things as you are now

[HollyK21]

Schoolmates in my opinion are a lot like coworkers. They can be really friendly, flirty or whatever the case may be but it’s ultimately all a matter of convenience since you see each other so often. Then once summer starts, you graduate, you/they quit the job, move away, etc, that’s the true test of if you’re actually compatible as friends, lovers, etc or if it was all just a matter of “if you didn’t see me so often we really wouldn’t be this close”.


In your case it sounds like maybe he was interested during the school year but just not enough to pursue something over summer. It’s nothing for you to feel weird or awkward about when the school year starts because you didn’t do anything wrong. I also would make a mental note not to give him another chance in the future because he showed you his true colors.

[Brittanyrunner06]

Yeah, I understand that but it was the last few weeks of school when he began showing me attention. I didn’t really know him before that. I just knew who he was because we had a class together. He also asked for my number after classes had already ended for the year. It was after an exam we had at the same time. That’s what confuses me. And the way we were talking was like we were going to hang out soon.

Thank you for your response, though. It rings true in a lot of ways. It’s just really confusing if that’s the case.

[HollyK21]

Despite it being a short juncture of time that he was actively showing interest, I still feel like it was a matter of convenience, and here’s a good example of why.
I can remember my junior summer having this dude on the wrestling team start taking interest in me during like the last 2 months of school. He lived in the same complex as my best friend so I was sure I’d see him over summer when he asked for my number (this was ironically when summer just started at a birthday party). He never reached out, his family went on vacation like the first month so I thought that was the case but nope, whole summer passed, I even saw him a couple times in the complex but nothing came it.

I share this just to ultimately say that I get where you’re coming from but having had these same conversations with myself in my teens, it’s hard to justify someone’s lack of engagement or effort otherwise. Like realistically if it weren’t about convenience and they were actually interested in pursuing something, while also knowing there’s no risk/gamble since you’ve mutually expressed interest (they don’t have to worry about rejection), it’s a clear shot. So when they don’t take it, and there’s seemingly no other good reason, then I can’t help but think those school/work/etc connections become out of sight out of mind.

Anyway, this is really just food for thought. No matter what it’s going to be an eyeroll when guys do things like that but then again he is young and dumb lol.

[Brittanyrunner06]

True, and thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate it.

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe he just lost interest. Happens sometimes.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Maybe he's not as interested as he seemed, if he wasn't shy or scared to contact you then there's no other way to really put it other than he's just not interested, simply cause of how he hasn't thought of you in two months, I get going hours without reply people get busy, or have jobs, or plans etc, but two months, he's definitely been on his phone in two months

[Desi_Butcher]

Hmmmmm... Either he got engrossed into something. Or he got a girlfriend like u think. Otherwise there's no other reason why he wouldn't contact u after taking ur number and all that flirting

[insatiable_curiosity]

Reach out and talk to him. It’s better not to make any assumptions.

[David318578]

Maybe some things are going on in his live that adding in a girlfriend would just complicate it. Have you reached out to him?

[Xawyx-2]

Maybe he is too shy to tell you.

[Wise4myage]

I think he want's you to chase him.