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I (35, F) been out with a guy (42, M) I met on a dating app 4 times now in the past 3 weeks. He really pursued me after the first two dates and then kind of backed off. On our third date he told me that while he told me he and his ex broke up 8 months ago, they really just quit talking before he signed up for bumble and met me. To say he’s still devastated over her would be an understatement. After our fourth date he apologized for pulling away from me, said how great I’ve been and that he feels so bad he hasn’t been better to me. He has sent me many nice texts this week and called me the last two nights. He told his family about me and talks about wanting to take an overnight trip in a few weeks.
But…I’m 99% he mentioned a date he had the other night. I figured he is going on dates with other girls but I didn’t expect him to make it known. Also, I haven’t seen him since Sunday, and he is busy the next two days. The distance between us doesn’t allow us to see each other during the week, so if I don’t see him this Sunday it’ll be at least 12 days by the time I do. I hate to be the one making plans again, but can I ask about Sunday if I don’t hear anything by Saturday? I’m definitely confused about what his intentions are if he’s calling me but not making plans. I’m trying to be understanding of his ex but I’m not wasting time waiting if he’s going to potentially go on other dates and then called me after.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Sorry guys are simple creatures and for chance of sex with a woman they are attracted to they do crazy nonsense. That many opportunities and weak excuses are the cardinal sign of he's not that into you. And he never will be. He may want to fool around with you eventually but he will never go out of his way to to it. Sorry there are exceptions to this rule but it is so unlikely to not even try.
He’s not making excuses, he really is busy the next two days. I said If I didn’t see him Sunday I’d think that was odd. I can’t Imagine he would increase communication by calling me and chatting more throughout the day if he was just playing me?
No he's attracted to you probably want to sleep with you. As long as you are ok with that no harm. His behavior is not that of a male that is super into you. So long term he is going to continue to leave you hanging except when it's convenient for him.
I’m def over it!! We talked much less this past week but he reached out he told to show me a new house he got and texted me last night to let me know his football team (he coaches HS) won. As soon as I replied he called. He asked what I was doing today but then this afternoon claimed to be busy again. Like why keep contacting me?
It's called breadcrumbing. It's a pattern of behavior that keeps women or men interested. Without any commitment or emotional investment. Google it. Kind of like the little black book of my youth. A contact list of people that he can probably bang when he gets lonely or bored.
Nevermind this wishy washy bitch boy who can't make up his mind whether he wants you or his ex girlfriend
haha well I’m sure he would go with his ex if he had the chance. Which I get. I am just confused since he’s calling me so much, which makes me think he’s interested, but then failing to make plans to see me. I don’t want to seem demanding but if He doesn’t make an effort to see me this weekend, I feel like that should be a deal breaker.