How can you tell if a shy man is interested in you?

[Anonymous]

I have a crush on this guy at work he's a very timid man but I can't tell if he likes me or not. I talk with him at lunch a lot he seems like he always appears when I need help but how can I tell if he's interested in me romantically

[HollyK21]

I’d just be upfront and ask. Yeah it’s scary but at least then you have a straight answer and can act accordingly. You don’t want to base how you feel about someone off of assumptions.

[EmmaMary]

Just ask/beg him to give you a damn good fucking... You'll soon know one way or the other... Simples!

[Asker]

Um yah I'm not capable of that

[EmmaMary]

Who Dares Wins! lol

[Asker]

And I don't have that level of dare he shy and timid and when it comes to dating type things I'm even more timid

[EmmaMary]

Oh Dear... Well we will never know then, will we! lol

[EmmaMary]

Thank you so much for the MHO.

[Anonymous]

He acts differently around you than other attractive girls. The best thing is to just either ask him or have someone else do it.

[Asker]

I haven't really seen him around people but I can try and see tomorrow I guess

[slatyb]

You ask him to a one-on-one -- lunch, dinner, coffee, whatever.

[DishLady]

Has he SAID anything sexy or romantic to you? If not then he's not.

[Asker]

I doubt he would to begin with he rather timid I do know I'm pretty much the only one he talks to.

[DishLady]

Even a timid guy knows to say something when a girl turns him on or makes him feel some way definitive.

[Asker]

I think that wouldn't be appropriate in a work setting

[Kattsnaiper]

Just hint towards it and see how he reacts. Its all depends on how close you are to him.

[Asker]

I'm not very good at flirting or hits this is the first time I've even attempted to find out before

[Kattsnaiper]

Ok, this is my plan (dont know if it works but it might work).
1. Find out if he has a signifigant other, if not go into step two.
2. Try to find out what he likes, like places or special, intrests and etc.
3. If he likes to drink coffe invite him into a local cafe, or if he likes nature then invite him to a park and etc.

[Asker]

He's been single for 5 years now
He likes literature and videos games he's not a coffee drinker he likes Mountain dew I gave him one once.

I thought about bringing my switch to work and seeing if he wants to play with me

[Kattsnaiper]

Thats genius! Ask about he's favourite games, and ask if he wants to play games with you after work too. If you want too.

[Asker]

I am currently playing a game he recommended because he clearly wants to talk about it and read his favorite books series

[Kattsnaiper]

yeah he likes you. What game is it?

[Asker]

What makes you say that?

Expedition 33

[Asker]

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

[Kattsnaiper]

he's got taste, thats for sure.

[Asker]

What makes you think he likes me all I said was that I started playing a game he likes so he can talk about it

[Kattsnaiper]

If he's shy, and he's passionate about sharing he's intrests with you and he's open with you. And i know couse im also shy.

[Asker]

I mean I wouldn't say he's passionate about telling me things. I just tend to ask a lot of questions. He did show me a poster he used to have in his room that was concept art from a poem he liked.

I did tell him once that I thought his nervous smile was adorable. He said " you mean you like seeing my lip quiver"

[TropicThunder]

good idea

[Asker]

I did ask if I brought my switch out if he'd like to play with me tomorrow he apparently misunderstood me and thought I asked if he wanted to come over to my house after work. I corrected the statement but the look on his face was priceless

[TropicThunder]

was he excited?

[Asker]

@TropicThunder I'm not sure I tried not to look to long but he sounded like he wasn't going to say no if that's what I asked but he did play with me at lunch

[TropicThunder]

looks at you a lot then looks away when you catch him probably

[Asker]

Well he kinda does that anyway he has a hard time with eye contact

[TropicThunder]

ok that's a big sign

[Asker]

I don't mean with me I just mean in general.

But I did tell him I think his nervous smile is adorable.
He said " you mean you like seeing my lip quiver"

[TropicThunder]

oh ok

[Anonymous]

Why do u like him

[Asker]

He's really smart I love the way he smiles when he talks about literature. He's so sweet and polite he always seems to be around when I'm struggling. He has the cutest nervous little smile. I could go on for Miles but I'll cut it there

[Opinion Owner]

Ohhh. Are u attracted to him? Without that it’s just friendship. Looks absolutely matter

[Asker]

Oh I definitely think he's attractive I have since the day I met him but me being attracted to him isn't the question it's dose he like me

[spartan55]

He's not.

[Asker]

The question is how do you tell in general

[spartan55]

I'm saving you time. Trying to help you out.

[Asker]

Yah but how can I recognize the signs in other people if not him

[spartan55]

Talk to him instead of trying to take this ridiculous shortcut you are trying. (which rarely works by the way)

[Asker]

I just don't want to make it awkward for him if he doesn't like me. I asked him today if I brought my switch if he'd like to play with me

[spartan55]

He's a big boy, I'm sure he can handle any awkwardness. Remember this: you will ALWAYS have to take some risk, and be vulnerable to be rewarded with a meaningful relationship. There is no 'easy button'.

[Asker]

I'm not saying he's not a man and he's a outrageously smart man though a bit timid I think very highly of him actually. But along with not wanting to make him feel awkward. I'm honestly afraid of what he might actually think of me because I'm definitely not anything amazing.

[spartan55]

You should work on your confidence. It goes a long way...

[Asker]

I came from a toxic family confidence doesn't exist for me anymore I just fake it. I'm strong as hell physically speaking but mentally I'm easier to break.

[spartan55]

Sorry to hear that. Have relationships been difficult?

[Asker]

I've only ever had one we were together 8 years not that I wanted to be i wanted out of the relationship a year in after he cheated on me the first time. But I didn't have much of a choice I vary rarely did in life so I just smiled through the pain like I always have while I cut at my rope's to get Free. He was manipulative lazy condescending and I'm pretty sure if I wasn't strong enough to fight him off he would have fucked me rather I wanted it or not. Along with disregarding my safety and fears. I was essentially just a blow-up doll that cleans and cooks

[spartan55]

Oh wow... that is so sad. I hate hearing about anyone getting treated so poorly...😔

[Asker]

I mean I've never not been treated poorly so I'm used to it I've been beaten raped almost kidnapped twice. Drugged somone attempted to murder me 4 -6 time's in my life locked in cages left to drown under the ice. I honestly didn't think I'd make it to 18 years old so the fact I'm at 25 is surprising to me. Ware I am now I've been treated the best I ever have in my life I went out for my birthday and nobody screamed at me or threw stuff at my head just people laughing and eating pizza it's the best birthday I've ever had in my life

[spartan55]

Oh my... you can message me if you don't want to air all of this on here.

[jahaims]

Be direct/forward