Why don’t men yearn anymore?

[Pearl222]

Ever since I started watching classics or period dramas, I’ve always been a little bit in love with men who yearn, Mr. Darcy in pride and Prejudice; Anthony in season2 of Bridgerton; but I barely see it in men today. Is it because there are too many options or just a lack of love with that intensity?

[aaron13547]

Id say I yearn for love a lot. a lot of the time to the point I make up unachievable situation and mess up my reality. In this world the only certain thing is things will change. That's kind of like the opposite of yearning to me because a lot of the time we have this perfect idea of love we don't want to change. Love is suppose to be unconditional but when we yearn for something we put it in a box with expectations. You can't put limits on something that's suppose to be infinite. Love is suppose to be unconditional but we put all kind of conditions on it saying how we want to be and what we want the most.

As i have gotten older when I yearn for someone I tell myself I am loving them the wrong way from the start.

[glennos89]

I did yearn for a lifetime long relationship with someone and maybe still do but the reality is that the majority of woman aren't being loyal enough anymore and they will eventually fly off thinking that the grass is greener on the other side.

Getting to know how woman truly are killed my yearning

[Pearl222]

That’s sad, if it’s true. Can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m loyal to a fault; maybe staying in situations for longer than I should. But again, hopefully you find someone to yearn for again.

[glennos89]

I know not all woman are like that. Its just very hard to find the right one because most of them aren't available for a long time and competition is fierce out there

[Simslover92]

I'm not quite sure why the men today aren't as romantic or yearn like the men of the past. I think they have the potential to with the right woman because I've seen it firsthand, but it's quite rare today.

I think it's a combination of women making it too easy and social media. Men don't feel they need to make grand gestures to win a woman and they don't really have to with the rise of onlyfans and thirst traps on IG. If they feel like they have to make effort, they will go to that instead.

Now this isn't every man, but it's more of them than there are yearning men these days which is quite a shame.

[Pearl222]

You’re quite right actually. It’s a combination of factors and maybe a few men like that do exist, but it’s definitely not the norm. Probably never was. But with the advent of social media, Onlyfans and whatnot, people do tend to take the path of least resistance and go for what comes easy. Maybe that’s why the number of true yearners are dwindling.

[Simslover92]

Yeah I definitely think so. I think in the past it wasn't as many either but way more than there are now in today's world.

[Pearl222]

Very true

[sage2021]

Probably because men know that a lot of women HATE men these days and they know it!!

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 😀 💓

[sayan7]

"Being yearning or so much desperate for someone will gradually kills attraction and makes that person allow to take us for granted " thats a common myth. I don't believe it completely, because if desperation generates from both side equally then it will not effect. Most people don't show yearning because actually they don't know what is the correct amount of showing it.

[Pearl222]

That may be partially true. Too much may be seen as stalking today. What I meant was more in terms of longing or desire though; just so you know the other person is all in and serious about you.

[sayan7]

Maybe someone is longing for you so hard but he is not showing infront of you.

[Pearl222]

That could be true, I wouldn’t know if he doesn’t show it.

[OneViewpoint]

No. You're missing it entirely. People who feel that deeply were rare in the 1800's. That's why novels were written about them. And we are rare now. We'll always be a tiny slice of humanity.

[Nikki1989]

Fear of commitment. Some men are born and raised with no backbone.

[thegreenyogi]

Because I think, a lot of men have forgotten how to take it slow.

[Ironco]

Definitely social media.

Also if a man has been burned and rejected too many times.

Laziness on both sides is another I believe.

[Anonymous]

They are fictional characters written by women. They yearn because women want men to yearn. Real guys in Regency times weren’t that yearny either.

[Opinion Owner]

Not that some guys don’t yearn. But they’ve never been that common.

[Pearl222]

I’m aware they aren’t real, but I guess you’re right…it’s not that common. I just assumed it must have been inspired from something real, but again that’s probably rare.

[Opinion Owner]

It was inspired by something real, but something rare, not something common to men of the time. Most men of the time were more concerned about a woman’s net worth than how much they loved her.

[Staximus]

Because loven that inspires those kind of strong feelings is rare. You might meet somebody like that once in your lifetime if you're lucky. Life isn't a movie.

[exitseven]

I think that most girls think that guys that are like that are losers.

[jahaims]

yearnhave an intense feeling of longing for something, typically something that one has lost or been separated from

[WonderingManII]

I don't think people care about each other anymore.

[Jennz6]

Most men don’t want to commit, they just want sex.

[Anonymous]

Yearning came from an era were men could legally approach women
These days it would be. a crime to yearn

[Pearl222]

Why is it a crime to approach women? If done in a nice and direct way, I don’t think any woman would mind

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't make the law I just follow it

[Anonymous]

Yearning is a literary device, not an actual emotion.

[Panthero80]

What is the line between yearning and being obsessive?

[Pearl222]

Good question. Probably making the other person aware of the intensity of your feelings for them, but not in a way that makes them uncomfortable or creeped out.

[Panthero80]

Yes, but what might creep one out wouldn't creep someone else out.

[Pearl222]

True, that is indeed subjective

[Panthero80]

I asked a girl her name once and she replied, "it's nothing." I was just trying to be friendly.

[spartan55]

I think this was a Seinfeld bit.

[jazzy34]

#Metoo movement.