My partner doesn’t like me wearing nice classy clothes?

[Anonymous]

I’ve always liked looking nice, but I noticed my partner doesn’t like me wearing nice clothes or dressing nice. I’m not talking about clothes that show off skin, I’m talking about pretty feminine clothes. He prefers me wearing pajamas or sweats or oversized things. What do I do? He starts being moody and he tells me he doesn’t like it because I get attention.

[Fireguy17]

sadly, this will never get any better with time, only worse.
It may come do to you being accused of infidelity even though all you did was walk out to the mailbox in your dumpiest outfit and get the mail.
He sounds like he is controlling and insecure, and that never ends well, sometimes it can turn into abuse.
While it may be tough to do, you need to talk to him about how that makes you feel, and see if he is at all receptive to your feelings.
If he quickly dismisses your feelings, or won't even listen, then you pretty much have let you know where you stand and what your future with him will probably end up being.
Then it will be time to reconsider your relationship with him, and of course he will tell you I knew you were cheating on me, who is it with, when you weren't ever cheating on him, so then you have to try to defend yourself for something that never happened, again, it is him trying to control you.
In my opinion it is time to bail and move on.

[Asker]

Wow I feel so heard because this is exactly how he is and he’s accused me of possibly flirting with a neighbor just because he was being problematic and calling him names during an argument and when he came inside the house I told him he can’t cause scenes like that and asked me if I had something with the neighbor. Whenever I talk to him about what I wear or the “freedoms” I have because he doesn’t really let me do much, he says he understands and says he’ll work on it but I notice it doesn’t and he’s never hurt me but it does scare me a little when he’s mad and he uses that too.

[Asker]

He gets very angry and he’s even caused a scene in person and he knows I prefer peace so he uses that against me because I basically am controlled and if I notice something upsets him. The other day the bank teller that’s his friend came up to me and started conversating and he looked very upset from far away and it just made me feel very uncomfortable and I cannot have conversations and I couldn’t even continue talking to the man and just looked down because I was nervous

[slatyb]

You need to get out of this as soon as possible. Is there somewhere you could stay?

[Asker]

@slatyb not really 🤷🏽‍♀️ we live a bit far from my family and friends.

[Fireguy17]

It is time to move on and get away from him as soon as you are able.
There will probably be some issues with doing that, the main things would be a burner phone, shut yours off and let the battery die, close every social media site and do not start new ones as he will probably find you that way.
My guess is that he views you as his property and will not be that apt to let you go.
There are probably some women's shelters/organizations that can give you better advise than we can.
Best of luck!

[bowenw]

Tell him he can wear what he wants and you will wear whatever you want. If he doesn't like it, he should find someone else to try to control.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊
Best of luck to you.

[slatyb]

That means your partner is both insecure and a slob. He feels threatened within you make an effort to look good. Dump.

[Anonymous]

He’s jealous and insecure

[Asker]

I know 😔

[Anonymous]

He is controlling because of jealousy.

[slatyb]

Unfounded jealousy = extreme insecurity

[Asker]

@slatyb yes and I’m not sure why he’s like this because he is not bad looking and he’s also a cheater, he’s cheated multiple times so he obviously has options 😞

[slatyb]

So why are you with him? Hoping for an STD?

[Asker]

@slatyb no 😔 every time I tell him we need to separate he takes my keys and he threatens to make up lies about me. I feel stuck.

[In_Trance]

Tell him to stop acting like a pussy

[Asker]

I did, but he said he disagreed. That he doesn’t like me getting attention.