I've been told I'm pretty but why do men never look at me?

[Anonymous]

I've been told I'm pretty, mostly by friends and older people from my parents friend cycle, but I guess we can't count that. I don't feel invisible only when it comes to men, I kinda go unnoticed by everyone, but that's because I'm shy, introverted and its difficult for me to talk to people especially when they show no interest in talking to me. The thing is that I've come to realize that I might not be that attractive after all. I mean I think I look okay, average, nothing crazy but I literally go unnoticed by every guy. No one will stare, look, smile, nobody will approach. I've had boyfriend's in the past but I met them all under specific circumstances, none of them really walked up to me to ask me out. When I do get noticed it's going to be some old creep who just harasses everyone at this point, barely able to walk or something. Is there a reason why or am I just ugly?

[abc3643]

You could be suffering from Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2...

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If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more crap from her because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much crap and work if the girl isn't so attractive.

(There's a similar "Beautiful Guy Syndrome" with good-looking guys being selfish dicks because they can always get another girlfriend if the current one is now too much trouble to deal with.)

"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered in the early-mid 1980s. This will take some time to explain...

All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view many things like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and believes there is SOME possibility that he will achieve that goal, he will get emotionally involved. However, once he begins to believe that he won't achieve that goal, then he begins to withdraw and will become emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...

And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks:
1. There are a zillion other guys who want her.
2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend.
3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special.
4. If she did date me, she's probably going to be bitchy and high-maintenance. (In other words, he's thinking she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)
5. ... and then she'll dump me for some better-looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy.

So, basically, he thinks that:
1) he doesn't have a chance to get her,
2) but if he did get her, she's going to be a lot of work,
3) and then he will lose her anyway.

Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...

Oh, and one more thing: Since the beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid; at least, that's what guys are thinking. So, he believes any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.

So, for her to get a decent guy, she needs to make it known that she is available or she has to be proactive and hit on men she wants instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.

[Anonymous]

People don't seem to approach anymore. I definitely don't, and almost no girl has approached me.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what you look like, so I'm not sure.

[Abbycado]

Pretty amon, yes?

[jahaims]

You are shy. You give off don't talk to me energy

[In_Trance]

It's because you're desperate