Is there any hope, or should I just give up on him completely?

[Anonymous]

There's this guy, whom I've known for quite some time. We went to middle and highschool together, but I never really noticed him until our senior year in which we had a class. In this class, we were in a group together pretty much the whole year and we were constantly bickering but we got along very well. After we graduated, we would keep in touch every now and then when I would reply to a note or story of his on Instagram, usually making fun of him in a friendly way. But usually when the conversation ended, it stayed that way. Recently, I replied to a story of his on Halloween, saying I liked his costume, seeing as he was dressed as Shaggy and his dog was scooby doo. The conversation was simple, nothing unusual. Somehow, we got onto the topic of movies and from there, unlike where we normally stop talking after a conversation, he kept the convo going. He was asking me all these questions, some deep, and saying certain things that sounded like more than friends, yk? We were texting pretty consistently for two weeks straight after Halloween, and since we were, I figured, hey, why not invite him out. My family was having a birthday party for my brother and I asked him the night before if he wanted to come. He responded faster than usual, saying "oh, for real?" Long story short, he came to the party the next day, he met my family, we played card games, and on the Nintendo. The only thing was I found myself nervous and unable to say almost anything to him, but he also seemed nervous. Later that day, he left and I texted him to thank him for coming and to apologize for not speaking to him that much, admitting I was nervous. In which he also admitted he was nervous. The convo ended soon after, nothing unusual. The next day tho, he didn't text me. I waited half the day before I sent a simple "hope your day is going well!" He responded, but basically, ever since the party, he's been texting me less and sometimes doesn't respond to my messages or takes hours and days to.

[ManOnFire]

Well, that took an unexpected turn at the end. Definitely weird, because I was leaning 65% towards him being into you. Assuming he's never met your family before, I could see why he would've been nervous at the birthday party, and of course you were nervous and self-conscious because you like him.

The only thing I can think of is after that, he maybe lost the spark after being around your family? Or he had his fill of you for awhile and just needs some space. Or maybe he got interested in someone else, or reconnected with some other girl too. Either way, really sorry. It sucks when people lose interest.

[Asker]

If I may ask, what do you mean about him losing the spark after meeting/being around my family? That can happen?

[ManOnFire]

If they feel weird about your family or don't really like them, it can sometimes be a factor for them, yeah. It's possible that was it for him, but really don't know.

[RavVid]

Yes it can be. Or possibly he thought meeting the family was a bit early. You can never know what is going on under the hood with people. Maybe he thought he was invited purely as a friend.

Guys misread girls subtle hints all the time. Most of the time really.

I think you should just tell him you LIKE him. Maybe he doesn't LIKE you back or maybe he does. Cut out the possibility of ambiguity by being forward.

[ManOnFire]

@RavVid Yep good points

[Asker]

@RavVid If I were to just be straight up with him about how I felt, is there a good or bad time to tell him? Like I've talked to my family about the situation and they said it's better to be honest about my feelings at a time when we're talking more again so as not to scare him with sudden emotions, (not sure if that makes sense), given we're not really talking much at all anymore, but then again this is coming from a family of women. What would your opinion be as a male?

[RavVid]

There is an old saying don't scare the fillies which is what your family is saying cept it needs a gender reversal to colts I guess.

In recent times TikToks have made it harder for guys to ask girls out because they might find themselves as the anti-hero in one. If you are in the same social circle to a degree the inclination is to be more cautious.

Because you didn't spend that long talking to him perhaps he got the impression you weren't that interested and has backed off to be cool.

If you follow your family's advice he could well be a fish that got a way. So I think you do need to shoot your shot.

Do it in a voice call not by text because there is more auditory cues in voice. You can be a little passive aggressive if that is easier and say you've missed him and taking to him and get a date out of it. Or you could be just straight up and ask him to go out with you.

Start with the passive aggressive line maybe and ask if he would take you out. I'd prefer that as a guy.

I think do it sooner than later.

[SueShe]

There is always hope but here, I have serious doubts that something is happening.

Perhaps it was not the right thing to do to invite him to your place as he may think that you want something from him. If he was the only "stranger" of the family, then obviously he will think that you are into something that he may not feel comfortable with.

It is normal for a "stranger" to be intimidated by the fact that a person that one is not in a relationship with would be invited to a party with the family.

I think that everything went way too fast for him and he feels that you want something that he is not yet ready to give.

[RavVid]

There seems to be something going on between you too.

Between all these couple one of them had to be first to say 'I love you'.

Same goes for 'I fancy you'. It seems you do fancy him and you may as be the one that says it.

[spartan55]

Well duh, he thinks you don't like him. You invite him to your party and then barely talk to him. Ugh... smh

[Alex-Snow]

It sounds like he is just nervous. That is normal. How old are you two? Maybe ask him out on a date where there is just the two of you. Do you think he is new to dating or sex?

[In_Trance]

Move on