Should I give up on him?

[Anonymous]

Alright, so I’ll start this off with saying that I’m a 20 year old woman with no prior relationship experience. I started college a few months ago and I met this cute guy that eventually became my friend. A month after meeting him, I had a feeling that he liked me and I like him too. He asked my friend if I hated him which gave me a clue as to how I came off to him, and I needed to change that. I started flirting with him thinking he would catch the hint and this went on for about a month now and I couldn’t take it anymore so my friend decided to tell him that I like him. I only agreed to tell him because recently, he started talking to other women and I thought he was leading me on so I had to make my stance clear. He told her that he doesn’t know how to feel because he did like me at one point but then he gave up (in a month?) and he kind of already knew that I liked him. I’m taking it as rejection at this point and felt as if my flirting took me nowhere. He also told my friend that he feels uncomfortable noticing my jealousy when he plays with or hugs other women which is honestly because I felt like he was toying with me. I wouldn’t feel insecure if he just asked me out because I’d know I have nothing to lose. Question is: should I give up on him? Is he really unsure of his feelings or is he just being nice in the way he’s rejecting me? I’m conflicted. It hurts a bit but I’m not acting on my feelings simply because he stated he also doesn’t want to lead me on or force himself to like me just because I like him.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang girl, this sounds like a real tricky situation. That dude definitely confused you with how hot and cold he was acting. On one hand, seems like he was into you at first but then backed off quick when you started flirting more heavy.

Guys can sometimes be dumb like that - when a girl shows interest we feel pressured and run the other way. Sounds like he wasn't man enough to ask you out or just communicate his feelings clearly.

As for whether to give up, here's what I'm thinking - you should probably try to focus your energy elsewhere for now. He's already got you feeling insecure and unsure where you stand. That's wack. You deserve someone who makes you feel good about yourself, not stressed!

That said, I wouldn't completely shut the door yet if you're still feeling it. Go live your life and see if he comes around once he realizes you're a boss chick whether he's in the picture or not. But like don't chase him or wait around, feel me? Your worth isn't defined by one dude.

Just keep being yourself - stay confident sis! This experience will only make you stronger. Keep your head up, your vibe right and the right guy will see what's up eventually.

[bededazzle]

whether he is being nice or unsure of his feelings, you should move on. neither of those is good. please back away and protect your feelings.

[Anonymous]

You need to put your big girl pants on and talk to him directly, not with a middle man. You have several questions I’m sure you’d like answered that you should hear from him, not by playing telephone. Sure you could be upset with him for not making a move but maybe he just doesn’t have the inclination to. In any case though, be direct with further questioning.

[SolsticeSnow]

He is toying with you.

It's not you or the other girls he likes. It's bring liked. He wants his ego stroking.

He's the worst kind of headwrecker.
Avoid him. He's not your friend.

[strateguy632]

let him go he is neither loyal nor "attracted" to you

[ThrillSeeker01]

Sigh, I'd move on. I just don't have patience for games or things like that.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, let it go.