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We've known each other for 4 months and he's a genuinely kind and serious type of man. He's very warm with me in person, he initiates conversations and talks a lot to me. He has been there for me in my tough times and nobody has ever heard about it from him. However, he also has many times publicly supported me or been very sweet. I believe it has something to do with the fact that I'm few years younger than him and appear very delicate (appearance wise). However, whenever his closest friends are around he gets awkward. For example, today we were talking to each other (he initiated it) and his friends came. He got serious, mechanical and silent. They greeted me and I greeted them back. He was quiet but aware of the atmosphere though, there was a car far away and he told me to move closer to him. After they left he got normal, we talked for a whole hour. But I've noticed this before as well, last week we had a party where he got visibly awkward and startled when I talked to him in front of his friends although he tried to talk to me before when there was nobody else.
His friends don't seem to dislike me. But is he embarrassed to accept that we're friends in front of them?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
Everyone acts differently based on who they are around. How different definitely varies, but we all have slightly changes to what we say or do based on who is around us. In this case, there are a lot of possibilities. Maybe he is shy in general, but when it's just you and him, he can be less shy. Maybe they aren't actually his friends (as in, they are basically bullies). Maybe he is still immature and the idea of someone knowing he is hanging out with a girl embarrasses him. Could be other things as well. If you really want to know, just ask.
I don't think the third thing, he does talk to girls. In fact he's pretty confident around most of the people and he doesn't treat his other friends like this. So am I the inferior one? He does approach me on his own if he's out with them and he sees me somehow.
Still too many options. Another one could be that with his buddies, he normally talks in a way that insults women that look like you or does something you do, and so he's embarrassed to be hanging out with a woman that he'd normally make fun of in the presence of the people that he does the making fun of, with
No, I don't think so. I've heard that he corrects people who say wrong things about me behind my back. Once a guy approached me, I turned him down and he wasn't ready to accept no as an answer. He talked to him on my behalf, took the matter to the authorities and made sure I was never bothered me again. So, I can't believe he can insult me or make fun of me.
Just because a man is willing to protect someone doesn't mean they aren't willing to insult someone. It's just what guys do. Have you never heard a guy insult his best friend to his best friend's face? It's just a guy thing.
So you think he insults me? He doesn't seem like that, I've never heard him insult anyone and nobody would believe that he can insult me. People say he even softens his tone while talking to me and despite being professionally challenging to his other friends, he has never challenged me or made me feel bad about myself. If I have ever said anything self deprecating, he has immediately tried to make me feel better. So, I don't know it anymore.
1) Everything I said is just an option. It is impossible to know why someone did or said something unless you ask them.
2) How a man acts towards a man and how he acts towards a woman are very different things. Men insulting each other (in the case of friends) is just a way to tease each other while also saying "hey, do better". Very few men have ever had a female they could do the same with and it not turn into something.
Is he new to having a girlfriend? Or maybe he is just unsure how to act with you and his friends present. Are you two sexually involved yet? I think it is ok to talk to him about it in a non threatening way and see what he has to say
No, we're not dating each other. We are good friends. That's why I'm curious.
How old is he? I think he is just nervous. Maybe just go on a walk with him or even a mellow date and talk openly and honestly.
But like there's nothing romantic between us, I mean we have never had such conversations. So a mellow date seems odd. We do go on walks and he's usually very open to me on those, he shares lots of things with me on those walks, we do talk for hours.
I see your point, but at some point one or hopefully both of you need to just stay friends or take it to the next level. Do you think that he is at all sexually attracted to you? Message me if you do not want to talk about it here.
I mean I kinda like him but I don't have the courage to say it to him. About the attraction part, I don't know. I grew up in a very modest family, so I dress like that, I don't touch anyone from the opposite sex and with him too I keep respectable distance. He is also like that, he keeps physical boundaries with women. People say I've a pretty face, they've often said it in front of him and I don't know what he thinks about that, we usually don't discuss such things.
I assume both of you are virgins? But it is ok to lead him on to some more open talk. He is probably too nervous to do it but I think once you say that you like him irl he may open up. Ur thoughts?
I don't know about him but I'm. I have given him some hints, like complimenting his work and personality, indirectly calling him sweet, surprising him by remembering very small details from past conversations etc. He has gradually started talking to me more. He told me yesterday that to approch someone romantically one must be emotionally close to them. So, I think that'll take some time still.
Well he may be worth the wait. Take it slow but try to make a little progress. Stay in touch!
Yes, let's see.
Good luck... I'm rooting for you.
Why don't you ask him this question directly
I can't, that's a very awkward situation. That's why I'm asking others to give possible explanations.