Are some guys just completely oblivious to what they want from a woman?

[DishLady]

I find that some guys really turn on the charm and get a girl all caught up... only to seem surprised at the girl's reaction. Sometimes I feel like it HAS to be gaslighting, but other times I wonder... is the guy just THAT clueless?

A friend was telling me this afternoon rather a saga, which ended with her walking out on the guy, who simply went on to the next party.

Sad, because looking at them I could see he was flirting and doting and possessive of her whenever they were at an event. They seemed like a sweet couple. But something about him just switched off and reset every few days.

I asked if perhaps he was on drugs (or an alcoholic), but she got upset. Then today this walking away thing.

I've had to walk away from flakey fellows as well, but this was a real shame.

[Orion84]

I feel like you may be oversimplifying a little bit.

Yes, to be fair, some guys are clueless, or they like the chase itself, more than the actual reward. Some of us are just idiots, too. Everything you've said is completely valid, and I'm not trying to diminish your opinion, but I feel like it's only half the possible story.

However, there are plenty of instances in which the guy is actually fully committed, as well, and know exactly what they want, and go after it, until he sees something in the woman that puts him off. It could be something big, or something small. The woman may not even know she's doing it.

It's just that there are times when a guy will see something, or realize something about a woman, some red flag, that just completely switches off his interest for her, and he'll just walk away. It happens more with guys who have been through it, before, and know what to look for.

Again, I'm not saying you're wrong, and I'm not saying women are always at fault, but for every clueless, or asshole, guy, there's also a woman that plays games, or has her own personality flaws that make guys go, "Nope, I'm out."

[OlderAndWiser]

Some guys enjoy the chase and want to prove that they have "what it takes" to win the big prize, but they also don't want a relationship. As soon as he convinces a girl to choose him, he's moving on to his next victim. They are like a dog chasing a car; what are they gonna do when they catch it?

[Ironco]

I'm not too ashamed to admit it... yes guys are clueless... relationships are like a game. Some are playing checkers, others are playing chess...

I prefer poker, so who knows what's going on...🤪

[DishLady]

I like a good game, but some are playing too many different games at once and it feels like gaslighting when they just show up again like nothing's happened, you know?

[worldscolide]

Believe it or not yes we are. It took my wisdom teeth almost killing me to make me see that I wanted to marry my wife.

[DishLady]

It's baffling. One of the other gals in out group was saying that all guys are players till they find the one gal who brings them inner peace.

[worldscolide]

I was never a player. But she's not wrong. It took finding her, and a near death experience to wake my thick clueless self up. Meeting her caused me to want to put away childish things and grow up.

[DishLady]

I like that. ❤️God bless you guys.

[exitseven]

@DishLady I was just looking for a girlfriend with an emphasis on friend. I had some that had the girlfriend part okay but were really not my friend. I had a few female friends that I was sad that I was not physically attracted to. Its just a mess.

[spartan55]

Geez your all over the road DishLady lol...

[Anonymous]

I'm definitely not, because I'm too shy.