Is it normal for strangers to stare in NYC?

[Anonymous]

I was visiting New York (Manhattan) and had an experience that made me feel really uncomfortable and anxious, and I’d like outside perspectives.

I was dressed very normally and neutrally: white sneakers, a long neutral-colored coat, and a white blouse. Nothing revealing, flashy, or unusual. Pretty similar to how many other people around me were dressed.

While walking around Manhattan and sitting in public areas, I noticed people staring at me a lot — not just quick glances, but repeated looks. This included men and women, both older and younger. For example, one man looked at me, then the woman he was with looked at me, then he looked again, then another woman stared. This kind of repeated looking happened multiple times with different people.

It even happened at the hotel where I’m staying — while waiting for the elevator, a woman kept staring at me, which added to how uncomfortable I felt.

For context:

• I don’t like attention at all and usually try to blend in

• I consider myself pretty normal / mid-looking, not particularly pretty

• I’m not used to attention like this

• I’m from South Carolina, and this has never happened to me before

• Other people around me were dressed similarly and didn’t seem to get stared at

• My husband, who was with me, didn’t get stared at either

The situation caused me enough anxiety that I ended up buying a scarf to partially cover myself, and after that, the staring seemed to lessen.

So my questions are:

• Is staring more common or normal in Manhattan compared to other places?

• Do people look out of curiosity rather than judgment?

• Is this just people-watching behavior, especially in places like hotels and busy areas?

• Could this be more about the environment and culture than about me personally?

I’m genuinely trying to understand what this kind of behavior usually means, because it left me feeling uneasy and self-conscious, I know I’m ugly, but I didn’t know it was that extreme.

Thanks in advance for honest perspectives.

[slatyb]

I expect you are more attractive than you think. People don't look long at people they find unattractive. Nor are New Yorkers more likely to stare at people. In big cities people mostly keep to themselves around strangers.

[Asker]

Thanks for your comment. I’m actually pretty mid-looking, I’m Hispanic, 5’1, and I honestly don’t feel particularly pretty. There are plenty of Hispanics in NYC, so I don’t think it was about my ethnicity. I was dressed normally, just a coat and some trousers, so I wasn’t sure if it was that either. It was my first time in New York, and the staring made me anxious and self-conscious. Definitely an overwhelming experience for me, even if it might not have been about me personally.

[slatyb]

My wife was quite attractive at your age, still is, but she had no idea. Get an opinion from someone you can trust to tell you the truth.

[Twodogs0525]

I've noticed just the opposite in NYC, people try to make as little eye contact as possible. Are you used to being in crowds? I guess, to put it blunt, do you think you were being paranoid and imagining it?

[Asker]

I’m actually very used to crowds and big cities, and this wasn’t about brief eye contact. It was repeated looking and re-looking from the same people in different settings (street, restaurant, hotel). I’ve been in other cities and never experienced this pattern before, so that’s why it stood out to me. I’m not saying it was hostile, just noticeable and uncomfortable for me.

[Nikki1989]

That is normal for just about anywhere.

[Asker]

I never experienced this anywhere else.
And I have been in different countries

[Anonymous]

Not really

[Asker]

Why?

[Opinion Owner]

Most people don’t stare at other people