What kind of path I should follow?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been flirting with a guy for about a month. We are from the same country, but we both live abroad. We actually had some contact before, maybe during the summer, but somehow our communication got lost. About a month ago, he reached out to me again and we started talking regularly.

When we started talking again, he was in our home country for a while and traveling. Our conversations were good and consistent, and everything felt fine. He came back about 10 days ago, and after that we were excitedly trying to find a day to meet. We agreed on this Sunday.

Two days ago, we were chatting again, but he suddenly stopped replying. I decided to wait and see instead of pushing. Today he texted back and said: “You should let me go for your sake. I have demons in my mind to fight.”

He was kind and sweet, and I was genuinely looking forward to seeing him. I’m not a perfect person mentally either, but I try to manage my life and emotions. I know I might be helpful and understanding for him as well, but the silence for days and the sudden emotional withdrawal leave me feeling drained and trigger overthinking.

I don’t want to be insensitive, but I also don’t want to put myself into something that will emotionally exhaust me. How would you proceed in this situation?

[HollyK21]

I think you should respect his wishes and let him go. I get that you were excited to meet him, and that you’d like for things to continue, but a decision like this can’t just be about what you want, or based off what you think you can do. If he’s struggling that much then he needs professional help, which he wouldn’t be getting from you. The most you can provide is emotional support, and if he doesn’t want that then it is what it is. Let him go, like he asked, and move on. Don’t treat his emotions like some sort of obstacle course for you to surpass.

[MandalaMama]

This sounds like a situation that would be emotionally exhausting, but it also sounds like you're very interested in this person despite the red flag that's being waved at you.


If this is what this person is like now, just imagine what it would be like for you once you've decided to get yourself involved with someone that lives in another country...


Do they plan to move back permanently? Are you willing to relocate? Long distance relationships really don't work unless the plan is to be together.


Also, everyone has mental health issues to some extent and his wording is digging for sympathy. For you to feel sorry for him and want to care for him...


Do you want to get yourself involved with someone that clearly seems to have a lot of baggage?


If this is what you want then go for it, but if you're already hesitant then I'd say listen to your gut instinct on this.

[Shiprex]

You could try to reassure him or let him go because he's being straight with you about avoiding getting too close so be careful whatever you decide.

[spartan55]

Proceed? There is no proceeding to be done. He told you he doesn't want to talk to you anymore.

[PeachyPie93]

Well considering its only been a month I'd drop him.

[Nikki1989]

You need to let him go at this point.

[slatyb]

He's telling you he's not ready for a relationship. When someone says that, believe them.

[Staximus]

Never mind this long distance bullshit

[Staximus]

I don't know how many times I'm going to have to tell you to nevermind this long-distance bullshit, but hey it's your life