Where Should I go from here?

[chickkkienugggies]

I’m in a bit of a difficult situation right now. I was baptized before and understood that baptism was about washing away sins, giving your life to Christ, and repenting. I felt good after my baptism, but shortly afterward, I entered a relationship where we were fornicating. It made me feel dirty and guilty when I realized what we were doing. The relationship itself was unhealthy, so I ended it.

I’ve been feeling like my first baptism wasn’t valid. The Bible mentions that there is one baptism, and I’ve also heard that you don’t get baptized every time you sin, but rather you should repent. I’m struggling with this and need some clarification because I feel guilty and unclean.

On another note, I unexpectedly met someone new. I had planned to take a break from relationships, but he seems to embody what love should be—patient and kind. He’s a good man who takes care of me. He used to go to church but hasn’t been attending recently. Both he and his sister have shown interest in doing a Bible study, and he mentioned that he’s been thinking about God for a while now.

However, we’ve slept together a few times already. I felt awful for not standing my ground but I expressed to him how I felt about my relationship with Christ, and he respected that and my wish not to fornicate. But it happened again recently, it was in the heat of the moment, and I didn’t stand my ground. Now, I’m unsure where to go from here. The Bible talks about being unequally yoked, and I want us to be equally yoked and on the same page spiritually. I also haven’t been in the Word like I should be. That’s my confession.

[BCRanger10]

Hello.

As it so happens, I am a catechist and would be glad to assist you on this.

So first things first. Baptism does not remove your ability to sin. If you got baptized when you were older, it does cleanse you of sins you have already committed, but it does not remove or destroy your ability to choose to commit other sins in the future. Likewise, it does not...DOES... NOT make something sinful good (this is an error believed by some "Christians"; just something worth noting).

The next question is what words did the minister use when baptizing you? If he said "I baptize you in the name of Jesus", then the baptism is invalid. He has to say "(Your Name), I baptize you in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost (or "Spirit")". If he used those words, then your baptism was valid and cannot be redone. He has to say those words because those are the words that Jesus instructed us to use, as reported in the Gospel of Matthew.

Now with all that being said, if these are feelings you're struggling with, I'll make a suggestion. That is to make what is called a sacramental Confession. There is a bit of a catch though. You have to be Catholic. Keep in mind that the Bible DOES say that we should confess our sins to one another (James 5.16). Another thing worth noting is that Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit on the Apostles and told them that whose sins they forgive or retain are forgiven or retained after the Resurrection (John 20.22-23). There is no sin you've committed that is so great and evil that cannot be forgiven by a priest. During the rite of absolution, he says "Through the ministry of the Church (meaning it's not his own power or authority), may God grant you pardon and peace" and then he says "I absolve you of your sins" and then completes it with the Trinitarian formula as noted above. He might then say something to the effect of "your sins are forgiven, go in peace" or "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good" and may then anticipate you responding "His love is everlasting".

Lastly, there's a really great book written by Saint Francis de Sales called The Introduction to the Devout Life. It's all about the stages of one's conversion of heart, including slow and often discouraging, but certain movements from sin to grace and devotion. Maybe that could be a good resource for you as well.

I'd be happy to talk about any of this further if you like.

[strateguy632]

You feel guilty because you did something you know is wrong.

That does not disqualify your baptism , like "scooping mud on my arm after a bath" to ruin it. So no need for another.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You can get baptized multiple times, depending on which branch it is. You feeling guilty for having sex is a whole separate conversation that needs to happen with a therapist, not a pastor and certainly not your family.

[MasterKS]

your sex need over shadowed your religious belief, you can't be saint be a human and enjoy life rather than follow religious belief which you can't follow!