Why do men stare but not approach nowadays?

Question

Like if I am at public, I get a lot of men staring (more than 1 second), some older ones even smile…. but like none of the young ones approach.

The other day me and my close friend were talking about how during our parents’ and grandparents’ generation, men would approach if they liked a girl they saw…but it’s not the case today.. in 2026.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don’t understand why this is so hard to figure out. Let’s see. Women aren’t really women these days. A lot of them act like men. A lot of women will shame a man for even coming up to her, rather than just politely rejecting him. No man wants to be blasted on social media. No man wants to be called a perv or something like that cause she’s not interested in him. A lot of women back in the day were over, had managers, feminine. They dressed more modestly. Believe it or not men will almost always put you in one of two categories based on how your dressed. So if she’s dressed scantly clad unless he’s looking for a hookup most men don’t want women like that. A lot of women have this I don’t need a man attitude. So when you have that attitude men aren’t going to come your way. Men like to be needed. If you have that I don’t need a man attitude the. He’s just going to find a girl who does need a man. A lot of women have told men don’t approach us in public, just leave us alone. Can’t we just be out w out men trying to hit on us. Men are feminized these days. They’re told their toxic, that men shouldn’t act that way. A lot of them are raised by single mothers who have no idea what it’s like to be a man. So how can women expect men to be men when they’ve been raised by a mom who’s told them everything they’re not supposed to be as a man but never told them what they’re supposed to be as men. There’s a lot of reasons why.

Alex_Bright · Accepted Answer

I talk to cashiers, grandmothers, random guys, store clerks. Everyone who gives the vibe of being open to a small, short chat.

I can't talk to children, because that's by default seen as bad. And if I dare to say hi to a girl in the queue or on the street I'm sure to get the cold shoulder, and "how dare you, creep" vibes.
The longer the length of the fake eyelashes, the higher the chance. I'm making a joke out of it, but you get where I'm going.

Luckily, it's not a loss. Nothing as rewarding as talking to a grandmother who's so over excited that her grandchildren are visiting, and is buying sweets to pamper them.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Bc is some guys approach certain gals they get a lot of "Who said I was interested?" snark and no one wants that on their down time. So they glimpse bc you're probably nice LOOKING, but there's no guarantee about your personality. They're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

They don't approach because your demeanor is "Do not approach." If you want men to approach, it is your responsibility to make the first move by smiling and saying hi, or otherwise indicating that you may be receptive to being approached.

MisterWack · Answer

Some guys are shy, so approach and don’t be afraid to be approachable ig.  Good luck out there.

RavVid · Answer

No. In grandpa's day if he approached a girl, she might decline but she would thank him for asking her out.

Since girls started putting up Tik Tok videos of deriding guys approaching them most guys have simply stopped. It can even have work repercussions.

It is quite strange now. Girls want to put up near naked pics and get lots of guys being lascivious over them for validation but should a guy look at them in skimpy gym outfits than that is a Tik Tok vilification.

Does it make more sense now?

Theunfadeable · Answer

Men in our grandparents day didn’t have to deal with feminism🤣. Women in the western world went on an international campaign to make natural male sexual interest a crime and started conflating every male approach with some type of creepy attempt to rape someone.
older guys don’t really care and are probably less affected by that messaging. Younger guys are here that stuff on social media 24 seven it seems they genuinely believe that they’re not welcome to approach a women.

obviously, as a result, they’re gonna be way less likely to approach women and way more hesitant if they actually do decide to try to approach a woman.

Summeroflove · Answer

Well…. They don’t know you. That’s one thing…. Two. Probably fear of rejection. If you really want to talk to someone you’re going to have to just suck it up and do it yourself. Because…. 9/10 most randos won’t approach you. Unless they’re just wanting sex or desperate. There is that rare 1/10 times.

But yeah…. Generally the men you want won’t be the ones who approach. They already know girls or have a girl…. Whatever. As well as get female attention without trying.

Anonymous · Answer

Thanks to social media and the female ego, men got enough of those arrogant women who don't know what they want. For years I worked out and built myself a good career, a good social media and had talents but I just saw women who're so much arrogant and thinking like they're queens, why? Thats because of 100 simps daily writing them over social media and the saddest part is these women think they're so beautiful because of these horny b*stards sliding through their DMs, so when women try to do the same behaviour to guys like me and other dudes who really worked on themselves then we don't give a f*ck about you and we rather pay for street h*okers. Its social media and the popular culture which ruined all of it and thats women who caused all of that, I won't approach to any women out in public who think themselves like they're the most rare gem on earth and they deserve best of everything without even proving themselves, no thank you.

DonaldDarko · Answer

They won't. Look at some of the posts on here, a man complimented a woman working as a restaurant hostess on her outfit This commie asshole went to her manager and called it harassment. He was banned from the place. Men see women like they see venomous animals now. In fact the prettier and more dressed up a woman is to me it looks like those bright colored fish on a reef. The deal is the more bright colored they are the more poisonous they are.

Anonymous · Answer

Feminists have spent the last 40 years telling men to leave them alone. Guys are called "creeps" for even approaching a woman. Just 'cause she looked at you, doesn't mean she wanted you to approach, etc.

Men finally listened.

That, and a lot of men are opting out of dating, altogether. Many modern women have become toxic, and have pushed men away from being interested. Relationships just aren't worth it, anymore.

Jersey2 · Answer

The “Me Too” movement killed men approaching. People at the time warned it would. It was just the democrats slogan for that year to stir up hate and resentment. Along with other hall of fame winners like BLM and it’s fraud, pussy hats, and so much more.

This year it is defending criminal illegals and Somalian fraudsters. Riots this summer guaranteed as the mid-year elections are coming. But these strategies have consequences and men don’t approach anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

We've been taught not to these days. Since I've left college, I don't even inhabit places that I've been told that it is appropriate. The only places I found with potential partners are the gym and work. I've been educated not to approach women at these places, because it is rude and often undesirable. They (probably) aren't there to meet potential partners, and neither am I.

AviatorTom · Answer

A negative side effect of feminism is what you describe. Men are often afraid to approach a woman they would otherwise be interested in... because there are so many women who should charge that as sexual assault. To be safe, and stay out of jail, men limit who they approach.

Zack-Bann · Answer

They will give you thousand excuses

The truth is it’s simple fear

Fear of the bruised ego that comes from rejection

It’s unfortunate but also a product of the times themselves

There are still some capable men out there which is good news but you won’t find them around every corner

HollyK21 · Answer

Ma’am, looking at you for more than one second is not staring, and I’m informing you of this because telling yourself that all these men are staring is what’s creating so much confusion for you. Even making eye contact for a brief moment usually isn't meant to relay any sort of flirtation or interest, you’re just out in public and took notice of each other for a fleeting moment.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Randomly approaching a random stranger is very intrusive and makes people feel uncomfortable.

If a woman wants a man to apporach her then she must at least give the man a sign she's interested in being approached first otherwise it won't happen.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Too many women ready and VERY willing to slap them with rape or molestation at the SLIGHTEST provocation!!

OneViewpoint · Answer

Men stare because women have become weird. Men can't look away like a train wreck sort of thing. They don't approach because women are scary today. Saying hello can be construed as harassment or sexual assault. 🤣

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Its not easy to tell whether most want to be bother or not.. And then there's a right place and time type of deal that many women want and men have to figure out.. Relations between men and women are not the best, so nowadays many dudes are just careful..

Anonymous · Answer

Common sense. Guys learn! And you're getting about to the age where guys have seen just about every trick that's in your genders bag. Guys can smell a setup at this point. You may look good on the outside, but they see the trap that lays underneath.

You reference your parents and grandparents. Well women today are not the women of your parents and grandparents day. So naturally neither are going to be the men either. Sorry, not sorry.

Anonymous · Answer

There are two primary reasons, the biggest being that approaching women has become a dangerous proposition for men. You women should have seen that one coming.

Also, today's women are nothing like women of the past. They are still nice to look at, thus the staring. But beyond looks, they don't offer men nearly what women of the past did. You should have seen that one coming too.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Coz we have made it difficult for them ourselves
I hav had many guys who used to be so much flirty n all but they stopped n said well they just wanted to be safe n careful n dont want to be sued for harassment

Purpleronnie · Answer

It’s 2026 , approach the guy ffs Oh and by the way staring isn’t looking for more than a second  and simply staring at someone doesn’t mean you find them attractive

Finchie40 · Answer

Because most people in general are scared of rejection, so they keep to themselves and not take the chance

Bricealan · Answer

Probably too much fear of being rejected. I only approach someone if they seem receptive to conversation or perhaps exchange looks

FreyaRed · Answer

You have to give them an invitation. Just smile back and they will approach you.

Rangers · Answer

Fear of rejection, lack of confidence, or poor understanding of social etiquette

cherrytreeblossom · Answer

who doesn't stare? doesn't everyone stare? i have never seen these romcom things happen irl. very disappointing. maybe america is different?

Nikki1989 · Answer

That hasn't been my experience at all. Men approach all the time.

Iron_Man · Answer

Fear of rejection being demoralized if they’re not successful

LiamJHayden · Answer

Fear. They are hoping the girl will notice and come over.

zagor · Answer

Have you considered it's maybe not a generational thing as much as an age thing. When you get older you start to not give a shit as much about what people think about you.

In_Trance · Answer

They do... Just not the ones that you want to approach

chase_strickland800 · Answer

Shyness and the fact we don’t have the courage to go up to a girl who looks pretty to us

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Bitches give stitches? 😬🤔

spartan55 · Answer

And why do you think that is... hmmmm

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

And be told,"Get lost, n****r?"

Anonymous · Answer

MeToo statutes made approaching women illegal

MasterKS · Answer

easy sex available now so.

onecuriousguy2454 · Answer

guys became more shy I guess

Smegskull · Answer

The twilight movies.

Why do men stare but not approach nowadays?

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