If I reach out to a guy who I used to work with and he doesn't make plans to hang out, he is not interested?

[Anonymous]

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Reaching out is a wonderful thing & being that you are reaching out I think you should be the one to get the ball rolling by making the first plans inviting him.

If you reach out & he doesn’t make plans it doesn’t mean he is not interested in you.

If he’s single go for it & if you don’t know he is in a relationship or not go for it anyway.

[Asker]

Why wouldn't he make the plans?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

If someone I used to work with reached out to me I would be curious what her intentions were & I wouldn’t make plans. In addition if I were in a relationship I wouldn’t make plans either.

Riddle me this, how did you reach out or how are you going to reach out?

[Asker]

I texted him

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Hopefully it wasn’t one of those boring text messages. Hi, how are you? If it was don’t be surprised if he blows you off. If you like him call him on the phone. Send him a message & ask him if it’s ok if you call & if so what would be a good time to call. I’m not into texting & I find it boring & I always tell people if you have time to blow up my phone with messages call me instead.

[spartan55]

That is 100% not happening.

[spartan55]

Why would he make plans when you called him? Come on really?

[Asker]

Can you explain that?

[spartan55]

YOU called him, therefor any outcome you wanted (in this case-making plans) must be originated by YOU. You can't expect him to do your social labor for you.

[Asker]

Okay I see. If he wanted to hang out did I give him the green light?

[spartan55]

What did you say to him about that?

[MontBlanc]

Most likely, yes.

If someone is genuinely interested, they’ll make time or suggest alternatives. Silence or vague responses usually mean they’re not invested.

Sometimes life gets busy, but consistent avoidance is a signal. Focus your energy on people who show up rather than chase those who don’t.

[Asker]

He says we should hang out but doesn't make concrete plans.

[spartan55]

@MontBlanc
OP is giving him ZERO effort, so does you're 'if he/she wanted to they would' theory apply to women too.
Let's all remember, this guy most likely has no idea OP likes him. So he shouldn't be the scapegoat here.

[MontBlanc]

Good point, Context always matters.

My view mainly highlights consistent signals whether from men or women that show genuine interest.

Effort goes both ways, and clarity helps avoid misunderstandings.

[slatyb]

How did you reach out? Did you invite him to coffee, lunch, a drink after work?

[Asker]

I just texted him and no

[queenofcardio]

Sounds like he's not interested

[Alex-Snow]

It sounds like it

[Asker]

He says we should hang out but doesn't make concrete plans.

[Alex-Snow]

Ask him out first!

[Danny_dan92]

Correct

[Asker]

He says we should hang out but doesn't make concrete plans.

[Danny_dan92]

Pulling your leg