What does this guy mean when he tells my good friend "Wow, you've got your very own little cheerleader, here, don't you?"?

[DishLady]

I was patching up my relationship with a guy, who I'd stepped away from bc he was emotionally immature and playing games. He tried to work his way back into my life, promising he'd be serious, etc. I gave him the benefit of the doubt bc I genuinely cared for him and his family.

The day he turns up to patch things up is a little awkward, but we end on a positive note and schedule our next meet up around the concept that I want him to meet my other guy friends -- the ones who are happily married and settled with good reputations, etc. The point was to get him around the type of guys who I know are good in their own relationships (and have similar traits to my guy).

At the meetup we enter together, mingle, and I introduce my friend. (Having already bragged profusely about my guy to my friend) I tell my guy about traits they share then about my friend's upcoming community service award.

My guy's expression changes. He leans forward and looks the friend in the eye and makes the cheerleader comment.

My friend (32, married, not even remotely my type, young enough to be my kid) blinks awkwardly.

I turn to my guy, confused, and say I always support and promote good people.

Next thing I know my guy hits an odd competitive mode, trying to one-up the guy all night... all month... all year. We never brought up that convo again, but clearly something bugged him and he was taking it out on me.

To "teach me a lesson" he showed up for a very detestable woman's event and I realized something was wrong in his mind.

Ultimately he was being toxic and I had to walk away. Looking back, several things he did were responses to the cheerleader thing (ridiculous bc we were VISIBLY VERY compatible in humor/personality, life situation, age, values, etc.). If he'd just been honest we could have enjoyed an actual relationship, but he'd rather poison the well. :(

It's my fault too for not "hearing" the intention of his comment (though, I'd consistently been HIS cheerleader for years).

[exitseven]

He sounds like he has issues with relationships. He is obviously very insecure and controlling.

[DishLady]

Yeah, but tbh while i have a lot of guy friends -- strictly platonic -- this guy SAID he wanted to be friends but never seemed to act platonic with me... I kept getting this sort of nonsense. And though I would have LIKED to have a relationship with him, this sort of thing was very... toxic and confusing. Why doubt me when I'm consistently kind and open with everyone, particularly with him?

[AgentG111]

She has someone who is completely into you and chers for you no matter what.

[Ironco]

Sounds like you're a glutton for punishment...🤔😜

I wouldn't keep going back

[DishLady]

I only went back the one time. But I would have lingered if I understood some of the stuff he’d said (like this cheerleader thing). I’m just trying to understand so I recalibrate and don’t make the same error in the future.

[Cidknee]

Jealousy? That's excessive.

[DishLady]

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[Staximus]

The guy sounds like a jealous asswipe

[DishLady]

He was v odd about it. I was a little surprised bc when you see him he's tall and seems confident and is very well off. I don't know why he felt the need to show off and one-up the guy for months on end.

[Staximus]

He was obviously not confident at all. Women always go on about a guy's confidence and how it's so attractive. Let me tell you something-confidence is all bullshit half the time and is the easiest thing to fake

[DishLady]

Most people's confidence is bs if we're being honest, right? But a guy who struts around like a peacock saying stuff like this... I guess I just didn't get what he was trying to communicate. I literally would have done the same for him.