How can I stop thinking about falling in love and just focus on myself?

Question

I know that I am not at all desirable, ugly and dumb.
I am toxic, needy, and completely deprived of touch, passamistic in any given situation.
I want to completely give up on this part of my life as none is going to ask me out, and I am never going to get a chance or a yes when I ask out.
So better of giving up and focus on building a career then a farmhouse.
So that I can be self sufficient enough.

CalmUntilAbused · Accepted Answer

That's a good question... You see, except the self-deprecating crap the society brainwashed You to believe about Yourself (one that I have woken up from some time ago), I have a very similar issue. Now, I believe waking up from this self-deprecating brainwashing is the first step to break out of this hell. You know, when You stop hating Yourself, You get an immediate, if basic self-confidence boost. Anyone You meet in Your life is no longer met with a self-hating mess, groveling before everyone in order to beg for at least some hint of recognition, but with a proper man who is aware of His own worth.

Now, how to stop hating Yourself? What worked for me was two two-week cross-country bike trips within two consecutive years. They got me to experience my true form - a man capable of covering around 100 km on a bike per day, for two weeks. A powerhouse capable of long-term motivation. My looks improved on these bike trips, as well. Even if they kind of got back to what they used to be after going back to the worker drone daily routine, I now know my true form in this regard, as well, and it is one to be proud of.

The next step would be realizing what most women have been turned into - mere tools for the psychopaths in power intended to coerce men to suicide. See, a man with a happy family will literally kill to keep His family happy, and is therefore a threat to the psychopaths in power who wish to absolutely control everyone else. The solutions those psychopaths in power have found is to set the women on the men, depriving men of happy families to protect. However, once You realize this part, Your attitude towards most of the women You meet daily is shifted - they are not wife material, but NPCs programmed to hurt You. Once You realize that, the worst pain You'll get is the following thought: "Oh, she looked kind of cute... Shame I would go to jail if I as much as looked at her for too long... Why the hell did I notice her existence in the first place?" These are short pangs of pain, and I have found them to be manageable (while also fueling my resentment towards the psychopaths in power).

Smart_Monk · Accepted Answer

The idea of falling in love is a "what". If you chase it, you are running away from love. Love can only happen between souls. Between "who". Only if you stop chasing this "what" then you become emotionally self-sufficient. You become what Buddhists may call enlightened. And only then can you connect with a "who", a soul to love. And form eternal attachments. Attachments to other souls brighten your path after death. Attachments to worldly ideas like the concept of romantic relationships put your eternal nature asleep.

CherryLove007 · Accepted Answer

Dude lets break it down. Our spiritual awakening is our primary goal here. Outside dopamine" the more more more" feeling is distraction and can get us into loops. Loving ourselves is our purpose here. Figure your next purpose as in how to share your skill that you cultivate here---this is your purpose and how to bless this world with that purpose.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

The desire for love isn't a bad habit; it's deeply human. You're not trying to quit something toxic; you're trying to quiet something wired into you. So be patient with yourself about how long it takes.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Given your description, I don't think you are wanting to falling in love anyway, as of this moment, I believe you want to be loved instead. But you can't bring people to love you, it doesn't work. Though you can, and you should, try to find peace of mind anywhere possible.

BadApple69 · Answer

Stop being so down on yourself. Know that it’s not about your looks, or even how smart you are….. confidence and a good personality can take you far….. and confidence is something you are greatly lacking. Work on that!

thegreenyogi · Answer

Find hobbies, focus on enriching your inner world so that you won't need to look around you and to others to fill the void. What things do you like to do?

MrChinaski · Answer

It's good to build yourself. That's something you can largely control. Love strikes at unusual times. At least it has for me. Believe in yourself. Meet people. It will happen.

Abbycado · Answer

You can start focusing on the things you can fix about yourself.

RRT_7511 · Answer

There’s really no way to stop thinking about love, it’s part of human nature. What you can do is to have a plan on what you can realistically do to achieve your goals. Set realistic timelines, have a schedule, one goal at a time

whosnumber_1 · Answer

You recognise all those negative things about yourself and perhaps your are focusing on "love" as the solution

Tomislav7 · Answer

Give up on life while you're at it. You dont need to do anything Jesus finished it on the cross

Anonymous · Answer

I wonder the same, all of my loves were unrequited.

How can I stop thinking about falling in love and just focus on myself?

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