Why is my male best friend suddenly acting like a jealous boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

no one seems to able to answer this for me, but this behavior was WAAYYYY out the left field. Context: Me, a 34 y/o woman, and my best make friend, a 45 year old male have been best friends for many years, and he even made it clear to me he never wanted a relationship, this last week I went to Georgia, the state I'm from, after living in Ohio for 4 years, I was getting home sick so I wanted to visit. We share an apartment, and do things together every day, but tonight when I called him, he acted in a way I have NEVER EVER seen before, like a jealous boyfriend, it confused me so badly, he's accused me of lying about reasons for being on my trip, for some weird reason, even though I haven't lied to him, and also acted very weird about me getting stuff I have never worn before because of low self esteem, he even started asking "who are YOU wearing that for?" or even got nasty because I couldn't answer the phone when he called the first time because I was IN THE BATHROOM. He said "You're in a hotel doing nothing, there is no reason you can't answer my call" I ended up having to explain things that I shouldn't to him It breaks my heart and I'm confused. Why is he acting this way, out of NOWHERE? Also not the first time I came down, and he was fine the first time, what is happening? please help, no one else tried to help me get an answer and I am sad and confused. Sorry about my messy question, Im not good at long details

[OlderAndWiser]

He has probably had romantic or sexual feelings towards you for a long time but has denied them. Have you ever kissed him, held hands, hugged, snuggled together? Do YOU want that kind of relationship with him? This sounds like a fire that has been smoldering for awhile and it sounds like you are surprised by his "sudden" change of behavior, but beyond your discomfort, do you want more with him?

It is time for you and him to finally be honest with yourselves and each other and have a discussion that defines your relationship and expectations.

[slatyb]

Obviously he's jealous, feeling that if he can't have you, then no one else should. You will have to have a very direct discussion and tell him this is not ok and if it continues you cannot continue as friends.

[Anonymous]

He suddenly decided he likes you (or at least wants to sleep with you, which to the male brain can sometimes seem like the same thing).

[236color]

He feels he's in the "Friend zone". This is not where he wanted to be. Now, was he too shy to make a move and now you consider him a friend, not a potential boyfriend? Where you never remotely attracted to him and thought he knew that? Guys seem to be slow to learn that if they become your friend, they will never be your lover. They think if they "get to know you better" it will be easier to ask you out, and you'll be more comfortable with them. The opposite of that is true. So, the ethical thing to do with a friend zoned guy is to sit down, explain that you understand he has feelings for you, but that they are not and never will be returned. That will be the end of him hanging around doing things for you, but as I say, it's the ethical thing to do. Probably best to not have this conversation in a isolated place. He's already angry. Don't do this again. Next time some guy you aren't interested in starts the best friend thing, tell them straight out that it's never going to happen. Less free labor, but fewer angry sad sacks when they figure it out.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Oh wake up, that man was NEVER a best friend, he was hoping eventually to get a turn on the dating wheel.

He's been lying about not wanting a relationship.

[Finchie40]

Because he probably wants more than just friendship with you? Has he ever flirtied with you or fooled around with you? If not he probably wants to and doesn’t want you meeting anyone else

[spartan55]

You live with your 'guy best friend'? I bet that makes dating interesting.

[exitseven]

The only way to find out for sure is to just ask him. Maybe he has changed his mind about you.

[whosnumber_1]

You need to ask him directly. If he's your friend you should be able to have this conversation

[LC75LC71]

He's probably been in lust for you, for a long time. Like you haven't noticed..

[Asker]

I really haven't because like I said, never seen it before, he has never acted this way before

[Asker]

like he's protective of me, sure, but I have never seen it to this extreme

[Asker]

also sorry, I hope I'm not being rude or anything

[LC75LC71]

No matter what it's all fucked up now..

[LC75LC71]

Don't know what you're apologizing for.. Perhaps don't reply with multiple replies? I type slow as molasses.

[Asker]

lol I feel ya on that ^^'

[LC75LC71]

Good luck in your future ventures and have a good one!

[jahaims]

All your guy friends have feelings for you or wants to smash

[DirtyOldMan777]

because you friendzoned a guy who wants you to be his girlfriend.

[Nikki1989]

I hope they are not the real ages of the people involved in this childish marlarky.

[Asker]

I feel sorry for you being a orude and feeling the need to be nasty, whay did I do tgat was childish lol? The ome who is childish is you who felt the need tkmo be an ass for no reason