Would you leave a partner you love for an ex who hid your baby from you?

[00brokenhearted00]

Baby was conceived before we met. She got a hold of him through a friend so she could have reached out but chose not to. The baby is over a year old and he is telling me he feels like he has to do this for his kid but to me it feels like he just wants to be with her because how could you forgive her for not telling him sooner? Also there has been no paternity test done to prove he actually is the baby’s father. I’m just looking for clarity because I don’t feel like he is being 100% honest with me so I thought I’d ask guys who don’t know me and aren’t scared to hurt my feelings with the truth.

[Orion84]

Not only would I not leave my current partner, I would be angry and suspicious over my ex hiding my supposed child from me.

I would demand a paternity test before I made any other decisions. If it truly was my child, I would support them, but I would still be angry at my ex for waiting to tell me.

[00brokenhearted00]

Yeah that’s what I feel like any man would feel like. That’s why it feels like the kid is just an excuse to leave me for her.

[Orion84]

Yeah, his reaction doesn't seem normal to me, at all. Do you know the circumstances of why they broke up? It's possible he still has unresolved feelings for her, especially if she dumped him.

[00brokenhearted00]

No I think she was just a hook up. He’s never mentioned her all I know is it was before he knew I even existed. The part that bothers me is she could have gotten in contact with him the second she found out she was pregnant but chose not to.. and as a woman the only reasons that make sense to me would be because she didn’t know if he was the father or not and was to much of a coward to get a paternity test done and it be wrong that she waited until she thought she could tell who’s baby it was. And why would any man believe someone who would do that let alone want to be with a woman who would do that?

[Orion84]

Ok, yeah; definitely suspicious. I may be cynical, but if she was hooking up with him, then she was probably hooking up with other guys, too. I'm wondering if she's just trying to trap him with a kid that's not even his. Maybe the real father left her, and she's just trying to get money out of whatever poor schmuck will fall for it.

That doesn't explain your boyftiend's reaction, though. If I was him, I would be highly suspicious, but if he's ready to go back to her, then something doesn't add up, here. Maybe there's more going on here than you realize. I think you're right to be concerned.

[00brokenhearted00]

My thoughts exactly!! I’m glad someone else said this because I was thinking the same thing but didn’t want to just look like I was bitter.

With him. He had another kid with someone he was married to and he said it almost broke him when he couldn’t make it work. She alienated him from his child and would keep her from him out of spite and I think that’s a fear a lot of men have and woman need to stop doing. It’s forcing men to pretend they love someone so they down miss out of their children’s life. I was on the father’s subreddit and honestly it made me so sad for a lot of men out there. That you guys have to deal with your kids being used as a way to control you. It blows my mind that woman can be that mean.

[bowenw]

It sounds very suspicious and that you are going to be better off without him if he is prepared to leave you so easily.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊
Best of luck to you.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If you think he’s sus, dump him with no regrets

[00brokenhearted00]

Oh he left me for her claiming he is doing it for his child. So he can be in their life. I feel like it’s just an excuse to not feel bad for leaving me for her. And a way he can keep me in his life like he is trying so hard to do.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Then know you dodged a bullet and move on

[00brokenhearted00]

Yeah I’m trying to thank you!

[Anonymous]

No….

[00brokenhearted00]

Yeah I am trying to not let his.. “I’m not like most men…” thing make me believe anything but what’s obvious. He wants to be with her. Not for the kid but because he actually wants her.

[Strayer666]

Nope.