Sometimes we train people how to treat us. If you're always tolerating behavior that bothers you, you give the impression that you don't mind their actions.
Have you told them you object to the way they flake out? If so, and they don't make any effort to change, simply drift out of their lives if this is a dealbreaker for you. Don't make a big scene, don't confront them, just fade away and find new friends.
Off topic, but I find that "why" questions make me feel like a helpless victim. Try asking "How" and "What" questions that are centered around how you can empower yourself. Instead of asking "Why do my friends always cancel on me?" try asking things like "How can I respond to my friends who cancel on me?" Training myself to think this way has been a huge benefit.
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yeah gravygirl is right. If they are hanging out with boyfriend instead of you it's a very normal situation. I am in a similar situation. The difference is that my guy friends spend most of the time with their gf. In that case, even though it's hard, you can't blame them. It's just how life is. Once people get older than a certain stage they start thinking about themselves and their relationships more than friends. It's not your fault.
People cancel more and more because they can. They get away with it. It is easy because all they have to do is decline you through a text or email. It doesn’t have anything to do with you because I see this happening all the time with a lot of people. However, a lot of the people I see this happening to don’t care. I think of it this way: If my friend asks me to dinner and I say yes, that doesn’t actually mean we are going to dinner. She just wanted to know if I WANT to go. So no one is reliable, stay detached and then no one gets disappointed.
you should tell your friends that you get mad/upset when they cancel on you. If they do it so often they might just think that you don't care if they bail.
Are they canceling to hang out with their boyfriends instead? That does kind of suck, but it is totally standard.
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