How to pick up the pieces of a shattered association?

[DishLady]

There's been a guy in my life the past few years who constantly pushes his way into my life then goes cold. No, not "cold" bc "cold" would be good. He leaves me with a mess to clean up THEN goes cold. When he wants me he turns up, but when I need him the most he doesn't show a jot of kindness or courtesy. So I blow him off... and a month or so later he's back in my face acting all positive, claiming that I'm bringing negative energy and he has no clue why... Anything positive I've tried to say or do he twists around or throws back at me in a negative way.

I want to know -- since I can't just avoid him -- how to pick up the pieces (or just leave the pieces wherever they are since he doesn't make an effort). He seems like a standard dishonest goofball, but he's very toxic and controlling.

[exitseven]

My best friend and me were on the outs for a couple of years. When my father died he came to the funeral and we patched things up.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why can't you go absolutely no contact with him?

[DishLady]

I've tried many times. The universe keeps putting him back in my face. There's something I'm supposed to be learning from this, but I don't know what it is.

[_Jenny_]

@DishLady Don’t try to pick up the pieces, just move on

[DishLady]

Meh. I want to put them in a box so he can play with them later instead of coming back to break something else, you know?

[_Jenny_]

@DishLady I know that feeling

[Cidknee]

Tell him to FUCK OFF!

He'll understand that.

[DishLady]

Please. I'm a lady. One doesn't tell people to fuck off. One finds a witty blithe way to make them fuck off.

[Cidknee]

Shove it! ?

[DishLady]

Lol.