Is it shallow to hesitate dating a great guy over his casual style?

[Anonymous]

Is it normal to hesitate on a guy because he doesn’t project a high-effort, elegant aesthetic?

Most of his clothes are very casual. I know he makes lots of money so money can’t be an issue. He seems like he values comfort over presentation.

I generally like men that are well put together, neat, polished, and organized.

Other than that he seems alright personality wise. Am I right to be hesitating on him because of this?

[Calyptomaniac]

It is shallow, yes. You're entitled to be shallow about guys if you choose to be though. But just describing his personality as "alright" isn't really a glowing endorsement to begin with. If he wants to be comfortable, that's up to him. Don't try to change him or expect him to change to become what you want him to dress like though. It's not going to go well, probably for either of you. If you care more about his clothes than his personality, that's kind of the definition of shallow. But you like what you like.

[Asker]

I guess I don’t know him enough, haven’t seen him in different settings etc. I’m going off first impressions.

[OneViewpoint]

Sure, you can reject a guy for any reason you want. If a sense of style is important for you. If you travel in social circles with a stylish crowd. He may not be the guy for you. Or maybe he just never saw any reason to care about his sense of style. He may like it if you give him a few tips. But be careful trying to change who he is to suit your needs or wants. That's usually a recipe for disaster.

[Levin]

It depends what you mean by casual. Scruffy, childish, tasteless or gaudy ain't good. But I'm casual. I hate any kind of preppy or clean cut look. It's part of my irreverent nature.

You say he's great and then you seem to be unable to tolerate him due to his style. I think that's odd. It seems trivial. But you do you. Maybe there's a deeper reason behind it all, from both sides.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. I mostly wear gym clothes, because they are comfortable. I have no problem dressing up for a date or special event. I'm not looking to impress someone at Walmart.

[Danny_dan92]

The description of a man you want, will likely not have the personality traits you’re looking for to be completely honest with you

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

Yeppers