Is it shallow for me not to date this nice guy I find physically unattractive?

[Anonymous]

There's this guy who is really nice to me and has the same religion, but I don't find him physically attractive. Just because of that I don't want to date him.

I know this sounds shallow and such, so I have really bad guilt.

He's Mexican, and he lives in the USA while I live in Europe.

I can't really say what I particularly find unattractive about him, I just don't find him physically attractive.

I find white guys the most attractive as a white girl myself, I'm not racist but I just find white men more attractive.

I'm also scared that if I had kids with a guy of another race that my dad would be disappointed. He doesn't want me to have children with someone of a very different race. He prefers white.

I don't know what to do, because telling him I don't want to date him would be so rude and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I'm not a 10/10, I'm average but in my opinion he is a little below average. I feel like for me to date someone they had to be at least a 6/10 in my eyes.

[Well_Wisher]

Attractiveness and physical appearance matters for a short time mostly. In a long term relationship what matters the most is the nature of the person and how you treats you. That's what matters the most when we choose someone as a partner. But there is also another side to this you have to be attracted to the person you are dating. This attraction should not be like a very very strong attraction like what you feel when you see a strong masculine hot guy but just enough. Because this attraction is going to be one of the factor for your physical intimacy. So if you are not attracted to him it will be hard for you to be that excited to be physically intimate with him. And your craving for him will also be a bit low which will keep him in self doubt that he is not good enough for someone. Therefore even if you are attracted him not highly but just enough that you can maintain good intimate moments happily you can surely rethink about this guy.

[Guy13]

I don’t think so. I probably wouldn’t but I would be friends. I woukd Al’s be clear in my intentions NOT to pursue intimacy

[slatyb]

How could you date him? He's an ocesn away? You have no obligation to date anyone. If you aren't attracted, them don't.

[Vick2828]

Ok, one. You don't live for your dad. You need to understand your dad is racist, and that's wrong. Two, it's okay to have a preference, but you need to tell the Mexican dude that you don't like him. Stop talking to him so he can move on.

[inhua]

yes it is shallow. there's nothing wrong with being shallow but it is shallow nonetheless

[Jamie05rhs]

There's nothing wrong with that. Part of personal autonomy is having the right to choose who you get into a romantic relationship with. No one else can tell you who to date. It's your decision.

[LiamJHayden]

You are entitled to your preferences, and attraction cannot be forced.

[Stevefiveo]

Not shallow. Date whoever you want. You don't have to be a martyr.