Women just as shallow as men? [balding guys]

[BaldingAt22]

Okay, before you read this, just know that I may come off as shallow and arrogant at times. Maybe it's just my pissed off mind talking. Idk.

Anyway, I'm 22 years old and starting to go bald. I would consider myself a pretty good looking guy. I've had several girlfriends and sexual partners.Once I noticed that I was starting to lose my hair, naturally I was starting to freak out about how I'd look and what girls would think of me. It's not yet noticeable unless you pay a lot of attention.

So I started asking my female friends [maybe around 20 of them] if they'd ever date a bald guy. About half reacted like this: "EWW hahah no!" The other 10 said "maybe, it depends." Depends of what? "Well if he had an amazing body, face and personality, then sure." Okay...

I asked my sister too. She said "yeah. There's more than just looks." Oddly enough, I heard her a day later saying "eww! he's bald!" when her and her friend created a fake profile on an online dating site to browse guys.

21 people isn't a large enough sample size. So I types in "What do women think of bald men?" in google and looked at nearly every link on the first 40 pages.

What I came away with was this... There's a lot of women who flat out said that a bald guy is a "turn-off". A lot of women never really answered the question. They said things like "Don't worry about being bald. There's more to liking someone that goes beyond their hair. I'm sure you'll find a women that's cares for YOU and not your hair." A lot of women said something along the lines of what my female friends said. "I mean, I wouldn't mind dating a bald guy if he was handsome, had a nice smile/teeth, a nice body and stuff." GREAT! So if a bald guy is completely perfect otherwise, he's got a shot with you?

Yes, some women said a bald man is sexy. But then they almost all used Vin Diesel, Bruce willis, etc. as examples. Okay, but not every bald guy is vin diesel.

And this is where I sound shallow. A lot of the girls that had pictures of themselves and answered "Being bald doesn't matter to me at all" were very... unattractive. Yes, it's mean and shallow... but unattractive girls and guys can't really afford to be picky. I SOUND HORRIBLE! And you're probably thinking, "You're complaining about girls judging you for being bald, and you're calling people unattractive?"

I get that. I just mean... I can get attractive girls right now while I have hair. Once I go bald, a lot of these same women wouldn't want to see me for just that reason.

It's such BS and it makes me depressed.

I also feel like women say "I wouldn't mind dating a bald guy" because they'd like to think that they wouldn't be shallow enough to turn one down. Think about it. How many times have you seen a bald/balding man in the mall, on the street, etc and thought to yourself, "wow! he's hot!" I never hear women saying that. At least not at my age. Maybe at 30-40 when almost 50% of guys start losing their hair.

My rant is over. sorry.

[ashez]

Woman are way more shallow then men or should I say judgemental.

But there are girls out there that love bald men, but with me I don't care what he looks like as long as he treats me right. I would much rather have that geek that isn't the greatest looker and treat me like I am a princess than the hot guy who is a womanizer and an abuser.

I know not many people are like that and we all should be because we can't help what we look like and our outter beauty will fade and I don't know how many times I tell people this but it never gets old and I am going to tell you the same thing THE MORE BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE IT WILL SHOW ON THE OUTSIDE! It is the inner beauty that counts, and if a woman cannot get past the fact that you are bald then she isn't worth your time, and you deserve better.

Also I hope this will help you out, I never dreampt in a million years (because I was young and immature) that I would date or love someone who was bald (until we got old) but this is because I thought I was gonna date someone with thick blond hair and I was actually engaged to a guy with just that, but we broke up, and life moved on and now I am dating an amazing guy who surprise surprise is bald, he chooses to be though, he could grow his hair out but he is just damn sexy without it.

So I guess what I am trying to say here is that even though girls may not perfer it they still don't disregard it because of one other factor his personality. So don't think all hope is lost because it is not, your hair isn't what makes you a great guy, your personality is and if you have confidence then you should have no problem attracting woman.

[Anonymous]

What they really mean is, "I wouldn't mind dating a bald guy if I was still sexually attracted to him." The younger a girl is, the less experience she has with bald guys, so she imagines things she's really, really attracted to. It's hard to speculate what you'd be attracted to without having experience with it. In reality, none of our traits are stand-alone and are in perspective of our other traits.

Here's an example. I'm not normally attracted to guys with really hairy chests. But I was with a guy who happened to be pretty hairy and I was very attracted to him sexually. His hairy chest was a non-issue. I even found it sexy on him, because it belonged to him. Do I seek out guys with hairy chests? No. Do I know now that I won't be turned off by it if I'm otherwise attracted to the guy. Yes.

You're also learning a lesson in humility, of which life teaches us many. What you're realizing by thinking that these girls are too ugly to "count" towards desiring you is a great example. Life is like that.

[BaldingAt22]

Thanks for your answer! It was unique compared to everything else I've read [outside of this site]

[beaves11]

Why should s bald guy accept less? I lost my high and I'm still holding my standards on a girls looks very high

[Tula1]

I am 37 and get asked out by guys of all ages and always have been...I guess I'm considered attractive and fun. I have never had a problem with a balding guy. I hs there was a guy wiht a wicked receding line that everyone crushed on. I wanted to marry him! He now is totally bald..and he married someone form hs.

That said, younger women may not expect to like someone who is bald because they also imaginehe might be a fat older guy... you have to be specific to get the specific answer. Would they have a crush on Brad Pitt if he was bald? How about all the bald actors out there? But the truth is, the same type of girls who are attracted to you will be attracted to you later...as long as you understand that we all age so unless you maintain the parts of you that you can control, less women will be over time.

Right now, you have nothing to fear. Even when girls notice. They'll still swoon because they like you for more reasons than you hair AND those who really like you will like your hair as well.

[BaldingAt22]

Thanks for your answer!

And I think you meant LACK of hair! :P

[Frunkiss]

Everyone is shallow. I was raised to believe that women are not shallow and that they are perfect, majestic beings and that I am not worthy to be in their presence. It seems a lot of guys are raised that way but once you get past that and realize they have the same faults as guys things make a lot more sense.

[thisusername2]

I admit I am not perfect or majestic and there is no shame in that. I was raised the same way but I remember when I was a little girl and my dad said looks don't matter to females and I thought 'what the hell would you know about it, you are a male. I have a crush on this boy because he is cute not because he gets good grades.'

[BaldingAt22]

I've always known women, especially attractive women, are kind of shallow. I've always dated and hung out with them. They say the most shallow things. They judge a guy about EVERYTHING. Hair, acne, if he's too fat, too skinny, how he dresses, his car, etc. It's ridiculous. Guys are the same way.. maybe not to that extent. Guys would date an ugly girl if she has a nice body. They'd date a girl with no ass or t*ts if she was pretty. Personality doesn't seem to matter at all for some guys. So wrong

[Frunkiss]

Thisusername: Ya some guys have it twisted. My dad was absolutely no help to me or my sister as far as love life. QA: I know guys who only date 9s or higher. Eh, there is shallowness everywhere. I wouldn't want my daughter giving it up to some bum. I would probably raise her to be pretty picky too.

[Alonso14]

I think women care just as much about looks as men. I'm balding too and only 21 and it scares the hell out of me. Have you looked into finasteride and minoxidil? They can both help to slow down the rate you lose your hair, in some cases they can even result in some regrowth.

[toulouse]

i agree with thisusername2

women are sexual. you call it shallow because you assume / or rather want to believe they don't care about sex -unless its with you- and just want a perfect doll to hold or w/e.

Sexual attraction is as important to women as it os to anyone else. humans are sexual. trying to guilt people out of it. I e women are pure and innocent and just want love-- not evil sex liker naughty boys crap etc etc- doesn't change that we are all sexual beings.

would you date a bald woman?

[BaldingAt22]

Kind of a poor question. Barely any women are bald. The ones that do bald, do so at a much older age than men. Natalie Portman was hot with little hair.. I would date her.

A better question would be... would I date a flat chested girl. I'm sexually attracted to boobs. But I would still date a girl who was flat chested. I have before and I would again.

Women seem to gloss over guys that have something they don't like though. Like baldness.

[toulouse]

NO. I ask you if you would date a bald woman because that's hat I want to know. its my question. you don't gave to answer it. but don't tell me what questions to ask.

you already complained of women answering with one movie star.

youre whole post is based on accepting and expecting guys to be 'visual', women are not supposed / allowed to be.

i sked you about a bald woman, to demonstrate sexual attraction matters to everyone. we don't get to choose in what way.

alot of guys lik flatchested women.

[BaldingAt22]

How can I know if I'd date a bald woman if I've never seen one? I've literally never seen a girl around my age who is bald. I used an actress because she has little hair at one point for a film.. she was good looking, and I would date her.

I never said women aren't supposed to be "visual." I said they're just as shallow... meaning I was calling out guys for being shallow. I even said I sounded horrible.

I hate the innocent act girls put on though. "Oh, I wouldn't mind a bald guy!"

[BaldingAt22]

but they really would mind a bald guy.

[bubbiexo]

I absolutely adore bald men. ADORE! It's my preference... My boyfriend is bald, and I've always been drawn to bald men... They're the first ones I always noticed.. At school, work, the gym, whatever.

Plenty of women like bald men. Who wouldn't? *swoon*

[BaldingAt22]

I wish the crowd of girls I hung out with felt the same!

[Anonymous]

Well, there are more women who would date bald men than there are men who would date bald women. I get balding sucks for you but I don't think you should be depressed about it. You can try different treatments and don't forget there really are a lot of women who actually prefer bald men and find them sexy :)

[BaldingAt22]

Nah, I'm not ussing any creams or w/e. It can cause sexual dysfunction, and I'd prefer having sex and being bald over being bald and impotent. hahaha.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh. I didn't know that.

[kereru]

You're right. you DO sound shallow.

but to answer your question,

when it comes to the dating pool, if we hypothetically measured people by taking into account every aspect (not just looks) then on this scale everyone has the right to expect an EQUAL, you don't get to whine and be bitter that you're not getting the 10/10s, if you are only a 6 yourself.

the difference is that women are more open to negotiation...men are usually looking for hotties, end of story.

women are more likely to look at the whole picture. Even hot women will usually quite happily compromise on a bald patch, but you have to be offering something else to make up for that, whether it's a material like wealth, fame, a six pack, or something else like personality, humour, talent or romantic gestures...you have to bring SOMETHING to the table

[KingsOfleon88]

Dude you just have to learn to accept it and love yourself for how you are. If you let it eat you from the inside it is going to reflect on the outside and when a girl senses that in your attitude it will probably be a turn off. And the more you keep asking the more insecure it will make you appear and I have lost a bit from the top so I'm exactly in your position

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

Things are not the same as they were in yesteryear. There are variety of proven solutions that may help him keep his hair.

[G_GTom]

For a while it was assumed that women were less judgmental than men, but this is incorrect. Women kept their judgments to themselves because they did not have the social and financial independence to express them.

They, certainly, have that now and we're finding out that women are just as judgmental as men. They cheat just as much as men or more. So, don't believe all that nonsense. Women just like to feel that have the moral high road even though haven't earned it. Nothing could be further from the truth.

To be fair, each person has the right to choose who they want to be with, whatever that reason may be, but it seems women want to deny men that right.

[lollipanda]

Women can be just as shallow as men, yes.

I really don't care about men being bald - they can still be hella attractive, whether the lack of hair is by choice or not. My last boyfriend was losing his hair early and he looked great with it all shaved off. I'm not really gauging the top of a guy's head when I'm deciding if I'm into him or not.

I didn't actually realize being turned off by bald men was a thing, honestly...

[thisusername2]

Yes women are just as shallow as men. I don't think shallow is the right word. Sexual is better. We are sexual beings as well, so physical attraction is just as important as it is to males. Sure less appealing guys and girls can't be so picky but it's something they learn in time and with enough rejection.

To me balding is not important, some guys wear it well but I do have to be attracted to him physically as well as emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Until a guy is a certain age, balding is just a turnoff. Women are less judgmental about looks in general, but there are 2 things we're consistently judgmental on. Height and hair. Which unfortunately, is completely dependent on genes for you guys. Sorry about that. You obviously understand how this attraction thing works since you're calling out unattractive women, right? You feel bad, you know you shouldn't, but you do. And the same works for us. Girls will feel even more guilty about it since we're used to being judged by our looks everyday, but it won't change anything if it's naturally a turn off for her. Not every girl will hate it, but a lot at a young age will. Fortunately for you, every year you get older, the more accepted it is.

[britannny]

I like my men with hair. Preferably nice thick hair. But it isn't a deal breaker.

I'm not really super picky about looks.

[britannny]

I love how you asked for a blunt answer, and I gave it to you, and was down arrowed, lol. Just being honest. The truth hurts.

[BaldingAt22]

... that wasn't me. I just pressed the up arrow like I did for everyone else.

I also didn't ask anyone to give me a "blunt answer."

[michael0314]

I think the term you wanted to use was "superficial", not "shallow".

[BaldingAt22]

Probably.

[G_GTom]

Actually, both is probably more correct.

[Auraann]

It doesn't matter and there is no reason you shouldn't date a girl who is attractive to you because of it.

[juliarachels1]

the more you keep asking the more insecure it will make you appear. You should accept yourself now for who you are and what you are.

[Anonymous]

You have issues