How do guys with serious red flags get girlfriends?

[Anonymous]

I'm dating a guy who I was head over heels for during the beginning of the relationship. Now we are 3 months in and I'm seeing all sorts of the biggest red flags ever. He has severe communication issues, keeps cutting me off while I speak, has no listening skills, terrible with money, can never take any criticism at all without an explosive reaction, emotionally unstable. Then he said he had been in a long term relationship for 5 years with his ex girlfriend. My question is... how could his ex tolerate him for 5 whole years when i can't even deal with him for 6 months?

Similarly another guy I dated... he lied about everything from his age to his income. He could never admit it when he was wrong. He could never accept responsibility for his mistakes- constantly acting like anything that goes wrong is My fault and my wrong doing. He always acted like the innocent one. And this guy was in a long relationship for 7 years. I couldn't stand him after 4 months of dating him. How the hell do these despicable people even get girlfriends? How do their girlfriends tolerate them?

[Anonymous]

Honestly this is the same across both genders. A lot of what you described is how a lot of women are as well. I think in the beginning we’re just so infatuated w how they look, how we feel about them, etc, etc. Some of them are good at hiding it for a while or keep apologizing. Then you think ok he apologized he’s trying. But as time goes on you get more attached. To be honest too I know we’re talking about the person w these toxic traits, but it may be the person who’s dating them as well who has issues that keep them w that person. For instance woman who grow up in chaos tend to be in relationships w people who are unstable, chaotic.

[Anonymous]

Probably talking to my wife in her swimsuit before we were dating. She had just turned 15 and i was 27, id always thought of her as a little girl as she was younger but she had bloosmed as a young woman and grown curves so we we were talking in the health suite, just general talk and I could help notice her thighs, her hips and giant boobs that sprung out of nowhere, like I thought she was getting porky bit no she just had massive puppy fat boobs. I got hard as a rock and she noticed.

[Nikki1989]

Red flags often don’t look like red flags at first, and many people are slow at picking up on the signals.

[Chichi90]

As one wise person said, "water sinks back down to its level."

[NathanDavis]

not being able to see "red flags" is a red flag

seeing a red flag and ignoring it... is a red flag

so I guess they pair with other red flags... lol

[Anonymous]

Some people are just more charismatic and/or lucky than others. Also, his so called red flags are hidden until you actually get to know him. It sounds like you are bad at picking men.

[Asker]

I'm not bad at picking men. Because I didn't find out about his red flags till 2 months into the relationship. We met once every week.

[Opinion Owner]

If you were better at it, it wouldn't take you that long to see the warning signs or be here.

[Asker]

you have no idea how good some people are at hiding it.

[slatyb]

They were raised in dysfunctional homes and don't know any better or don't believe they can pull someone better.

[jahaims]

They date someone else with red flags. Not being able to spot red flags also makes the person a red flag.

[msc545]

Try not picking guys based on their appearance, and you won't have these problems.

[Asker]

I didn't pick him off appearance

[Anonymous]

I can tell you. But you won't like the answer.

[MrChinaski]

How could you deal with him for 3 months?

[MasterKS]

matters how good they are in sex.