Can an avoidant shame cycle be broken, or does it follow every relationship?

[Anonymous]

what did it take and is possible to change when you were in that avoidant cycle with a girl. Did you improve the relationship, is it possible or did you leave the relationship and broke the cycle with a different girl. Or did the avoidant cycle continue with every relationship? What causes avoidant cycles?

[Anonymous]

I would need to know what "cycle" you are talking about. I have some avoidant tendencies, but I ultimately face the problem, for better or worse.

[Asker]

He ghosts/avoids then is embarrassed at not responding then shame for ignoring me and it continues he says he does it to his family too, I know he works 20 hours appliance installing and games and does chores, hangs out in his room he’s also 28 years old I’m 29 he doesn’t have a license is trying. to get one and has practiced.

[Opinion Owner]

Extremely weird. He doesn't seem ready for a serious relationship. His behavior is wrong here, not yours. He shouldn't be shaming you or manipulating you. He should be actively correcting his behavior.

[Asker]

Sorry I mean 60 hours a week not 20

[Opinion Owner]

That is very different. He should still make time for you.

[jahaims]

Avoidants rarely heal enough to be emotionally healthy but it is possible