Does a middle eastern girl stand a chance against the girls (blondes) in the western society?

[Anonymous]

I’m a middle eastern girl who’s born and raised in a western (scandinavian) country. I’m extremely well assimilated in the society (friends, language, going to medical school etc). People have told me several times that they keep forgetting I’m actually foreign.

I have long jet-black hair, very fair skin and a curvy body (not fat). I’ve been told over and over that I’m “extremely beautiful, gorgeous, adorable, nothing less than perfect” and I catch guys staring all the time, like their eyes might pop out. Yet, nothing ever happens! Even if I know for a fact that someone is interested and I reach out, it doesn’t get anywhere. They pull back when they realize it could turn into something. Most of these guys end up with blondes in the end, I’ve noticed and it makes me really sad and I feel inadequate.

Is it a problem for western guys to start something (serious?) with a middle eastern girl? Even though she’s only that with her looks. Because I look very arabic, I know that (I’ve heard greek and Spanish a lot too though).

I just don’t get it. Is it really that bad for a Caucasian/white man to be with a middle eastern girl? Even when she’s very assimilated, nice, out-outgoing, smart and (in his opinion) good-looking? I mean, I’m not one of those who stay at home, I party and am very sociable just like the other girls at my university.

The only thing I can think of is my roots.

[likesexontoast]

well let me start off by sayin no, western guys don't have problems with Asian girls.i know from experience. I'm persian, born and lived in euope my entire life and know family and friends from england,America,france,germany,holland,iran and armenia and from everything I gather, unless their in a sort of small rural old-fashioned type of place, they have no problems. usually guys call us persiand 'exotic' 'unique' and 'beautiful' too. yet, nearly all of my persian friends are involved with guys and girls of diff races, eg. English, irish, german, American, persian, swedish and pakistani.

i have noticed though, SOME guys are intimidated, for several reasons. a few guys I know liked me were intimidated because they thought I was ''so beautiful'' because we are different looking to most girls around them, and so they think we won't be attracted to them (studies have shown often people tend to be attracted to similar looking people for relationships), or they haven't seen you with other guys around campus so they think you'll probably reject them or different/ more strict/ have higher standards then all the other easy girls around campus and once again, reject them. I realized the when I was more my usual goofy,hyper,comfortable self around them, they werent intimidated at all. tbh I think theyll only end up with the easy, blond types for simply short-term fun anyway :)

I've seen many ignorant, foreign girls here dye their hair, change their accents and literary straight out deny their foreign-ness (?) and roots in order to fit in and get guys. DONT do that. they end up used and discarded just like the others anyway. guys never have any respect for them. perhaps you give off a bit of a superior/too confident/ uninterested/ too perfect impression without realising it? (I don't mean any offence, just projectin ideas out here!) you could try being more forward,maybe? or try to make guys feel more comfortable around you, make it clear to them that they have a chance and that you are interested. show that you're down to earth and make them more comfortable around you.

sorry if this was a bit confusing!xD I'm a bit sleep deprived atm xD I just thought seeing as I was in somewhat of a similar position that hearing my side of things might help..somehow...where are you from, if you don't mind me asking? :)

[Asker]

I love that girls who are in somewhat the same position as me are answering! I want to start by saying that I would never ever lie about or be ashamed over where I come from. Even though I’m very assimilated I don’t keep it a secret where I come from, what language I speak at home and other cultural things. My Scandinavian friends have all eaten Arabic food and know a lot of Arabic phrases, haha

[Asker]

Also, I have never changed my looks to look more Nordic. I know what kind of girls you’re talking about and I think they’re ridiculous. I grew up in one of those small old-fashioned cities so that has affected the way I see myself around these girls, like I’m not as attractive, so therefore I would never imagine that a Scandinavian guy would be intimidated by me (or something like that). Oh, I come from Syria and I’m syriac, but I speak Arabic. :D

[curiouschica]

Excellent answer! I'm Persian too btw! =p

[likesexontoast]

@curiouschica woo team persia:D lol. oh and thank you!:) I think it was the giant bowl of sholezard I had just had that made me keep going on and on and on:/ hahah

[likesexontoast]

@QA aw cool:D I used to have a syrian friend,one of the sweetest people I knew:) I used to feel like that too as irish people aren't that aware of diff cultures and that sort of stuff. but I realized that the reality was, I wasn't like a lot of those other girls. I was different, both physically and personality-wise, but NOT in an inferior way whatsoever.

[likesexontoast]

alot of the guys here that I know (17-21 yrs) are just into meaningless fun atm, and after talking to them, it seems that they see too much respect and value in girls that are different like me or you to waste their chance simply trying to screw. all of my friends/family that are or were involved with westerners, including myself, are/were in actual relationships, so I think you should be happy to know that ultimately youve got it good, because your not being used as a valueless one-night stand, and when guys like you, they like everything about you including brains and personality and looks.

[likesexontoast]

but like I said in my original answer, just make sure your not intimidating them, and try to being more forward or even just comfortable around them :)

[TheMistressMinxxe]

You sound like me, I look arabic, indian, afghan whatever but I'm of mediterranean descent and it baffles people if they're not used to seeing very different races. I live in London so blone/white faces are getting fewer and fewer by the decade. Things will change for you in time, perhaps some guys think you're from a strict culture where dating and boyfriends are not allowed, it is feasible that this is part of the problem. When guys look at pin-ups or girls in p*rn, (for example) it is mostly white, black, Asian or Hispanic girls. I think arab girls are still fairly taboo for western men but that doesn't mean they don't want you, they're just unsure as to how to approach you.

On the contrary I think dark women are more interesting physically than any other (my preference, not everyones) and I've only ever attracted white, western men, my man is a pale blond scot and thinks I'm the most exotic creature that ever lived! Don't worry, your time will come you sound gorgeous ;O)

[Asker]

I live in a small university-city and here we live almost in a bubble (think Cambridge, and you’ll get the idea). I think that might make things harder for me, especially since most people around me haven’t associated much with foreign people before. So they’re full of prejudice (spelling?). What you said about them thinking I come from a strict culture I think has a lot of truth in it. Thanks for your wise and nice advice! :D

[TheMistressMinxxe]

your spelling is great ;O) it's up to you to dispell their myths and the more you travel to other cities and countries you'll see a big difference in integration and levels of interracial relationships. My uni town was tiny and was mainly an Asian (indian, pakistani) and irish area the only foreigners were overseas greek students mainly so I got judged to be overseas rather than western until I socialised & integrated with those groups. There is certainly nothing wrong with, good luck sweetie x

[Hazel63]

To be honest I think middle eastern woman are some of the most beautiful in the world! :) blond hair and blue eyes are nice, but the media shows them excessively, so that type of beauty seems generic and plain. In America the trend in beauty is now leaning toward more exotic looking models, ones that almost any one can relate to. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and even though you live in a place where it seems men are only with blonds, you have to keep in mind the gene pool of the population. Scandinavia has one of the highest occurrences of blonds in Europe. So there is a higher chance that a guy will date someone with blond hair. But look at the flip side of the coin. You are a RARITY there! Your features and beauty are unique compared to the blonds and lighter colored eyes! So in reality you are more sought after then it seems. :)

[Asker]

=D

Well, I used to be proud of being different. But when you several people acting the same towards you, you start to think it's more of a negative than a positive thing. You're right though, I should start to see the good parts of not being like everyone else instead of being all depressed about it!

[Hazel63]

I understand how you feel. As a Mexican-American in the U.S. very I occasionally run into people who are very ignorant and racist, who tell me that I don't belong I'm the United States, and that I.should "...go back to [my] country." But I was born in the U.S, and my first language was English. I am extremly proud of my culture and love who I am, I would never.change it, but the U.S. is my home, no where else.

Don't be depressed, embrace it! :)

[sfauo]

Don't think of it as standing a chance against anyone, because from that it seems like you're saying blondes are the perfect woman, what every guy wants, which isn't true.

From how you describe yourself, what's most likely happening then is that guys are being intimidated by your beauty! The right guy will show up, just got to be patient. No need to feel sad.

[moloz]

That's kind of silly, really.

It would be way better if she would just take what she wants; approach guys herself.

[Asker]

That's a kind thing to say :)

Yeah, I’ve been “taught” while growing up that either you’re blond and petite or you’re not attractive.

[sfauo]

@QA Certainly not the case at all.

@moloz Silly? Didn't meant to literally wait.

[wstt2]

I went to Denmark where everyone was blond and I'd say I prefer blondes but the one girl on the vacation I liked was a jet black haired girl from iceland. I think she stood out from everyone else so that is why I noticed her. I wouldn't worry about it but focus on showing people the true you and the right person will come.

[Anonymous]

I'm persian (iranian American), I've gotten so much attention from guys...constantly! and I was born and raised in the states. we're classy, hot and innocent ;) ...have you seen the video by basshunter the gorgeous girl is persian.. we have nice skin. pretty eyes, great bods.. I mean what more could a guy ask for? and our food is delish lol (hope this doesn't sound conceited).. I know it feels like you're an outcast..if I moved to africa I could wonder the same thing? do I fit in am I attractive..but the appearance shouldn't matter, you will find a guy that likes you for you!

[Deft_maiden]

umm do I know u?

[Opinion Owner]

lol umm? I dk. I live in the states ha

[xSweetestSinx]

Ugh, most are short and fat with huge noses.

[Anonymous]

I'm caucasian, though live in canada.

I don't like blondes. I mean some are good looking, but I much prefer brunettes.

And arab girls? so hot.

I actually know a swedish guy who is engaged to a persian girl, so it happens.

[Anonymous]

Are you still in Scandinavia? The Scandinavians tend to see non Scandinavians as foreigners. It's not because you're middle eastern.

[Asker]

Yeah, still in Scandinavia. Maybe you're right. But I get the feeling that they treat other non-middle eastern foreigners differently.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, a Leopard can't change it's spots. Your choices are to carry on despite the perceived bias, meet a guy with similar heritage as yours and is living in your city, or move elsewhere

[moloz]

Jet black with very fair skin?

That's perfect. Better than blondes.

[HoneyButterCup525]

Well I'm pakistani... iv been told I was pretty, gourgouse etc etc... although I never had a white guy approch me only one has and other guys who are Greek, Italian, black and Spanish approach me a lot..:p...

[Anonymous]

Let's start with the basics? height, weight, age, bra size, hip size and waist measurements?

[Asker]

lol.. you're serious?

[Opinion Owner]

Well, you're concerned about how attractive you are to guys--this will help us understand what they first see. We're very visual after all.

It's actually good news for you. It means that guys don't say "I'm attracted to her but she's from the Middle East, so I'm going to ignore her."

[Freetobe007]

this made me lol

[Opinion Owner]

Hahaha!

[RealityCheck4Ya]

No. White men want White women of the same race as them. The way nature intended. Middle Easterners are not White.

[Anonymous]

No. I've red hair and have no problem with guys

[Anonymous]

So eastern girls like western boys?

[Opinion Owner]

Do many girls like western guys?