Do shy girls realize that they come off as not interested a lot?

[Anonymous]

I'm glad over the years I've been able to pick up the subtleties of when a woman is a bit nervous or shy around you but still has interest

But a lot of girls try too much to act uninterested/cool/unfazed when they're shy/nervous around a guy they like; Do they realize that a guy that was initially flirting with them backs off a lot of times because of how she's acting?

They must know they're being too subtle about it or acting the wrong way and that causes the guy to give up a lot of times

[Anonymous]

If you're suggesting that they're doing it on purpose and are fully aware of their behavior, I can assure you that not, it isn't the case. At least for me, I know I wasn't aware of this until I actually started to wonder why I had never been asked out by a guy. It was while talking with a guy friend about this and asking for his honest opinion that it stroke me. He said "well, you act like you don't want a boyfriend, or to be in a relationship".

This is when I realized that my whole behavior regarding relationship and love was giving some strong signals that I wasn't interested, that I couldn't bother with that. It's a shame really. Honestly I can even tell you that I wasn't fully aware of what it was exactly that didn't work until I read your question. You just confirmed any hypothesis I had made.

See, "shy" girls (though I would mainly consider myself introverted rather than shy) have the feeling that anyone can read their minds when it comes to how they fee about someone. So their natural reaction is to hide it. Somehow they disguise their feelings. Why?I don't really know. I guess it's an inner fear of being rejected or being made fun of (which would be a real nightmare for a shy person).

So there you go, and I'll take myself as an example. Not only am I not someone who socialize a lot (doesn't go out often, doesn't meet new people on a daily basis..) but I am also someone extremely oblivious to whatever it is people can say or do to gauge my attention. Add to this the fact that when guys showed interest, I simply didn't trust myself fully, and besides when I was myself interested, I definitely did my best to act "cool" and "unfazed" as you say it. It's also because I don't really know how to flirt.

[JimJones123]

You sound like you know what you’re talking about! Please check out my question and give some insight if you don’t mind? : )

[upood]

Being a shy girl, we kinda realize but at the same time we don't because we see ourselves as who we are (friendly, funny etc) and don't understand that others can't pick up on our personalities and feelings that easily. I am terrified of acting interested because I assume if I look at a guy he'll know I have a crush and I'll be embarrassed. Also, the fact he backs off makes me feel like he doesn't like me so that scares me even more into acting uninterested.

[Anonymous]

well... its a complicate question... I mean, I am shy so I get what you are saying but the truth is that we don't try to "act" different... when you are shy you kind of feel small and inhibited so we can't "act" a lot... hahahaaha at least I can't hide my smile which is very annoying and obviously a nervous one hahah

[Asker]

behave is a better word I guess. when you "behave" this way do you feel like you're not showing him you're interested or do you think he should be able to tell?

[Opinion Owner]

mmm... to be honest I think they always now in the end because of how nervous I get when he talk to me... or when he sits besides me and I laugh at everything and smile like whenever he is with me (once he ask me if I could stop smiying... hahaha I couldn't in front of him... it was very embarrasing... hahahaa)but I guess thatwhen a shy girls like you it easier to tell...but not in the good way...i don't now if I'm explaining myself...when I like someone I start kind of avoiding them... not cool..

[Opinion Owner]

so in the end I always screw everything and lose the guy... :/

[Asker]

I see what you're saying. Cause this girl I don't have her number yet. But she knows a few of my friends and I can tell she gets a little nervous around me and avoids me a little but she looks at me a lot and laughs a lot at the things I say.

But anyway she'll pop up at a party or something that she thinks I might be at, we don't see each other for days and when she finally does see me she seems to try and act "cool" like she's not really crushing on me but I know she is. Does that make sense?

[Asker]

even though I'll sometimes blatantly flirt with her and stand close and look in her eyes and give her a sly look or sly smile (this is when she usually gets nervous and walks away haha). she must know I like her but maybe she's keeping her distance since I'm no asking her out or for her number. But she doesn't make it easy to tell how she feels you konw what I mean?

[loveamy8]

shy girls don't try to act a certain way just sometimes it seems like it because they are not as confident. But a girl that is really shy will tend to still seem interested sometimes because they will smile blush or whatever. A guy that really likes them will know this and after time they will not be so shy around him anymore.

[Asker]

yea I get that. They are nervous so they automatically avoid the guy and want to stay away from him for fear of looking silly. Because they want the guy to think she's funny and outgoing and fun to be around but when he's around they become nervous so they behave differently.

I guess I just need to wait for her to become more comfortable around me. I wouldn't want to ask her out when she's still nervous around me because that puts more pressure on not screwing up on the date.

[loveamy8]

yea like just be more confident around her and she will eventually not be nervous anymore .

[AnimatedGirls235]

Well shy girls may like a guy, but maybe they don't want to date him. She may just want to like you and dream about dating you because she is too shy to actually date you. If that makes sense haha