But a lot of girls try too much to act uninterested/cool/unfazed when they're shy/nervous around a guy they like; Do they realize that a guy that was initially flirting with them backs off a lot of times because of how she's acting?
They must know they're being too subtle about it or acting the wrong way and that causes the guy to give up a lot of times
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If you're suggesting that they're doing it on purpose and are fully aware of their behavior, I can assure you that not, it isn't the case. At least for me, I know I wasn't aware of this until I actually started to wonder why I had never been asked out by a guy. It was while talking with a guy friend about this and asking for his honest opinion that it stroke me. He said "well, you act like you don't want a boyfriend, or to be in a relationship".
This is when I realized that my whole behavior regarding relationship and love was giving some strong signals that I wasn't interested, that I couldn't bother with that. It's a shame really. Honestly I can even tell you that I wasn't fully aware of what it was exactly that didn't work until I read your question. You just confirmed any hypothesis I had made.
See, "shy" girls (though I would mainly consider myself introverted rather than shy) have the feeling that anyone can read their minds when it comes to how they fee about someone. So their natural reaction is to hide it. Somehow they disguise their feelings. Why?I don't really know. I guess it's an inner fear of being rejected or being made fun of (which would be a real nightmare for a shy person).
So there you go, and I'll take myself as an example. Not only am I not someone who socialize a lot (doesn't go out often, doesn't meet new people on a daily basis..) but I am also someone extremely oblivious to whatever it is people can say or do to gauge my attention. Add to this the fact that when guys showed interest, I simply didn't trust myself fully, and besides when I was myself interested, I definitely did my best to act "cool" and "unfazed" as you say it. It's also because I don't really know how to flirt.
You sound like you know what you’re talking about! Please check out my question and give some insight if you don’t mind? : )