How To Befriend A Shy Girl?

[Anonymous]

I have talked with this really nice girl but she's shy and I have read a little about how they don't initiate conversations and don't show any signs of liking you or not. I don't really talk to her in person that much, more so online helping her with physics sometimes. I really want to be better friends with her but I am having trouble coming up with a way to initiate a conversation so that she understands that I want to be friends with her. I have no idea what to talk about and I feel as if it would be too random to just asking about her life. Any ideas? It's harder than people say it is, being a shy person myself.

Updates

+1 y

I'm not a really social person, because I don't do drugs, act immature, or go to parties, I don't really have a popular group of friends. I have some friends but they too are like me. I can't ask anyone to help me out because the people who I would ask would think it's weird coming from a person like me. It's hard to describe my situation but I'm basically by myself on this one. And she is a year older (junior).

[sweetlilgal]

Oh, this question is perfect for me to answer!

I'll give you advice, from my point of view as a shy girl.

If a guy liked me and wanted to be my friend, I would like him to just tell me because I don't like time wasters. It would probably be best to casually mention it when you're talking to her online. Since you're both shy, saying this in person may not be taken the same way as online. She'll have time to read it, process it and be like "Oh, okay. That's cool he wants to be friends." After that, you can gradually start talking to her about the every day common things. If you want to change the subject to something that is completely irrelevant to whatever it is that you were talking about, you will need to learn how to steer the conversation. That's if you don't don't know how to do so already. When you've got that skill down, everything else becomes easier.

Initiate conversation with her as much as you can, talk about things that you feel would interest her, make statements, ask general related questions which can then lead onto specific questions about her (e.g. "What do you plan to do after college?" whatever she says, you can ask a question or make a statement that relates to it. Lets say she said she wanted to be an artist, you could say "Oh, really? that's great. So, do you have any drawings I could see?") that's just an example, but you get what I mean.

It's easier to be yourself online, so try subtly flirting and see how she takes it.

Have you thought of inviting her out with a group of friends? I know she's shy and may feel a bit uncomfortable, but this would be your chance to make her feel comfortable and really show her that you're interested.

Trust me, there was a guy in one of my classes and I noticed all of these questions that he was asking me and the way he said them. It was nice to see that he was interested in me.

and I know it's easier said than done. But, the more you do it, the better you become at it - practice makes you better :) good luck!

[DaniJ]

Don't worry, she DOES show interest, you just have to figure out how. Ask a close friend for some help, because many of the signs she will give will be when you aren't looking. When you are in the same room as her, have your friend stand far away from where you are, and keep an eye on her to see if she watches you at all. Ever 5-10 minutes or so, glance her way. If she is looking at you when you see her, that is a good thing. If it happens more than once, it's a very good thing. She will generally get flustered and start looking around the room like she just "happened" to look at you. Meanwhile, your friend will be watching what she does, too. If she is standing, her dominant foot will be pointed toward the person she wants to be with. That could either be you, if she likes you, or her friend, or someone she feels comfortable with, but her other foot will point toward you. her body will be tilted in an effort to get you to notice her, and so she can keep an eye on you. once, when she is looking away, get a cue from your friend to move out of her line of vision. Then, it is a great sign if she has a quiet panic attack until she finds you again... lol this is all things that I do, and I'm pretty shy. When you talk to her in person, it's best to ask her about her day, and see what she is into, by asking about her life in general. it wouldn't be too random, it's a good way to get to know her and show her that you actually care about who she is. Also, while your friend is "spying", try and get a cue from him if she is showing a lot of interest. This is the time to "make a move", and come up and ask for a study date. bring your physics to a coffee shop. This is a good way to get to know her better in a way that she will probably be more comfortable to her. Just make sure that when you're choosing a friend, you choose one that will be sensitive to what you need and won't go and ruin it by asking the girl or something. Maybe even ask a girl for some help.

[DaniJ]

well, if you don't have anyone who can help you, then you can still try to keep an eye on whether or not she exhibits any of these signs. Watch how she is turned, and when she isn't walking, get just barely out of her line of vision. If she turns to find where you've gone to, make eye contact and smile. She should get embarrassed, so keep it a really really nice smile.

[DaniJ]

Also, it would be a good idea to ask her on a "study date" while you are helping her online, under the premise of "it would be easier if I could show you in person".

[Asker]

I love your help and your suggestions but our physics homework is online : / She's always walking with her friends and I never see her in the hallway, it's always after school or in the far distance. She sits two seats behind me in physics. I wish I saw her in the hallway, it would be much easier for me to show her that I actually acknowledge her. I would really like to spend time with her but I don't think I know her well enough to do that.

[Anonymous]

I use to be pretty shy girl as well (still am sort of, but not as bad) lol I normally didn't start the conversation first because I would somtimes worry that the guy really interested in me and I knew if he started talking to me it was because he actually wanted to. As far as when liking somone, ya shy girls normally tell you unless they feel for sure you like them to. I think the best thing is just keep talking with her. If you guys have things in commen (music, movies, ect ) ask her about that. Or ask about things she's into and what she likes. The more it keeps you both talking. When you see her in person just talk with her...It might be awkward at frist (like really awkward) but the only way to really break is too keep getting to know eatchother.