If he's mean to me...does he like me?

[Anonymous]

You know that old sayiing. If a boy is mean to you then he likes you. Is it true?

So today in band we had a fire drill and we all left our instruments on our chairs. After I walked outside, I was freaking out cause I thought mine may have fallen on the floor.

When I came back in it was fine and on the chair.

But then they guy I sit next to (T) was like "Oh by the way Lisa, I saved your trumpet."

And I said "What?"

And he said "Someone knocked it off on their way out and I caught it."

That suprised me because he is usually kind of mean to me (not like bullying me, but kind of teasing in a mean way. If that makes sense) So I said "Oh...thanks!"

And he said "Cause that's the kind of guy I am." (It sounded kind of sarcastic.)

And I said "Oh okay," and rolled my eyes

And he said "Yeah that's right...bitch."

My friend thinks he likes me because he teases me ALL the time. But I feel like he's just being mean to me.

Oh and whenever John is absent (the guy that sits next to me) T is nice to me, but whenever John is there he teases me.

He and John are friends. They both sit next to me.

He's a junior and I'm a sophomore.

And when I say he's mean to me, he's not like bullying me. I think haha, but he teases me a lot.

But then other times he'll try to make me laugh. Like sometimes we will be playing scales or something and he'll play a wrong note on purpose to make it sound bad and then he'll look over at me and smile.

I don't get why he is mean to me some days and really nice to me others.

Updates

+1 y

By the way he calls everyone bitch... not just me.

[JPorter]

I think he's flirting with you. He's sort of that macho d1ck kind of guy, especially when he's friend is around.

I always tease girls I like, but in a funny way, not as much a "mean" way. I guess I would ask if any other people really tease you - maybe you're just one of those people with the "tease me" sign on your head.

If not, I'd say he's flirting.

[Asker]

Haha, people are generally nice to me, so I'm not really use to this. I wouldn't say he's bullying me because I never really feel hurt by what he's saying and he never makes fun of how I look or anything.

Is there anything I can do to find out for sure without asking him? Because if I ask him and he doesn't like me then I don't want him to make fun of me.

[JPorter]

"Is there anything I can do to find out for sure without asking him?"

Yeah, do the exact same thing back to him. Tease him (not bullying, but poke fun at him), call him a b1tch, but do it with a smile on your face. Stand your ground, I think he's testing you. Can you put up with him and not let him walk all over you.

Besides, guys like girls who can bust their balls in kind of the same way they're doing to you. If he stops doing it as much, you know you have the control =)

[Asker]

Ahh good idea! haha

But he's really witty, and I'm not very witty :/

[JPorter]

If he's really witty, then I guarantee you he wants you to fight back. Trust me, we find it irresistibly sexy.

[Asker]

Oh really? I never know what to say when he makes those snide comments. So I usually just say "kay" and ignore him

[JPorter]

Why do you think he keeps making snide comments? He's obviously either getting the reaction he wants, or he's simply looking for you to react. Why would he be doing that if he didn't like you? He'd just ignore you.

You have to throw it back at him, though, because that's when you're going to see more clearly his intentions. To me, he sounds kind of like a meat head, so insult him with a smile on your face, he'll see you have a backbone and either pursue or drop it.

[Asker]

If he drops it, does that mean he doesn't like me?

And what if I can't think of anything funny or creative to say?

[JPorter]

"If he drops it, does that mean he doesn't like me?"

I don't think he will drop it. But if he does, I think it means he's just looking to irritate someone, and would move onto someone else. He'd be back, though.

"And what if I can't think of anything funny or creative to say?"

Just point at him and make a throat-slashing sign. Then laugh. You can let him do most of the talking, just laugh and/or give him some kind of response. That's the only reason he's doing it; to get your attention.

[Asker]

Alright. So I should laugh at the mean comments he makes towards me?

[JPorter]

Act like you're upset, or angry, or sad, in a way that's obvious you're joking back with him.

Gimme an example (outside of him calling you a b1tch) of what he's saying to you, I think some context here would help.

[Asker]

Ummm. Well one time our band director was like "we will be having a party Friday..." and he said "Well it couldn't be a party if you're invited." (he was talking to me)

[JPorter]

"You're right, it wouldn't be a party...if I was invited, it'd be an experience."

"The girls wouldn't want you to go anyway, you'd only be one more boy the guys are looking at."

"Doesn't matter, you can't go because the short bus picks you up before it starts."

Just stupid stuff like that, throw it back at him, smile and see if he can come up with something better.

[Asker]

Lol alright, I'll try.

[Anonymous]

Ordinarily I would say yes, becuase I'm going through that myself right now, but ususally its because of pent up frustration and not being able to express feelings into words. But then I read the last part of your question, he called you a BiXch? I certainly wouldn't want someone like that!

[Asker]

He didn't mean it. He calls everyone that lol

[Opinion Owner]

lol OK, so yes it is flirting, he doesn't know how to put feelings into words

[Asker]

Oh...but he is kind of popular guy that has had girlfriends before, so why does he act this way around me, but not around other girls?

[JPorter]

Guys don't call women b1tches unless they're really angry or they're joking/flirting. It's clearly harmless.

[selectivethought]

Pehaps, I'm convinced of it. Go for it! :>)