I need help with a "know it all" boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend thinks he knows everything. When he talks it's like he's talking down on you because he doesn't think you are "as smart as him" and he does this to everyone! He also thinks he is "gods gift to women" and can get any women he wants. He talks about himself to the point he makes me wanna be sick. He will argue till he is blue in the face and you finally give up and say "fine, you're right" but really if you look it up it will actually prove YOU are right. But here is the funny thing...he is so stupid when it comes to common sense. like working for a living, and paying bills. He thinks it's OK to not show up at work, then miss paying a bill all because he doesn't realize its NOT ok...then when you talk to him about it, YOU are in the wrong...not him. Oh I could go on and on...what can I do to show him, that he's not ALL that, that he is not always right about everything and that he is NOT "gods gift to women"? Please help!

[tommyatomic]

Doesn't sound like he's smart. Sounds like he's a smart ass. Excessive vocal false confidence is usually covering for insecurity. He probably has self esteem issues and makes an over the top effort to sell people on the idea that his poor choices were the right ones and get other people to validate his bad decisions.

You should stop arguing with him. Its not going to help him pull his head out of his ass.

You basically need someone he really respects and admires to point out where he went wrong when he next crashes and burns. They need to be constructive about it otherwise he will get worse.

Even if he is genuinely brilliant (does not sound like the case) ; I can tell you from personal experience that high intellect and common sense almost never manage to be proper bed-fellows.They do meet in the middle with a thing called "life experience" which it sounds like your boyfriend has none of.

Recap: Arguing with him doesn't help; it forces him due to his insecurities to try to get other people to validate his bad choices. He has ego issues. If you want to knock him down a peg or two get him to knock it off find someone he admires and respects and let them point out where he went wrong.

As for the Gods gift to women thing. I have some thoughts on how to drop his ego down a couple of pegs but they are kinda mean things and will probably make his insecurity issues worse.

[Asker]

He is fairly smart, and intelligent BUT like I said he's stupid when it comes to common sense. But there should be a line between knowing you smart and going overboard with it. I have heard that some people with insecurities talk "big" about themselves, so I could see that being true, but he makes other people feel bad about themselves in the meantime. and if you have thoughts on how to drop his ego down a bit, I'll hear what you have to say! lol

[tommyatomic]

People that drive down the self esteem of others almost always do it because they are insecure.

[Asker]

That is very true, so how do I fix this?

[tommyatomic]

Its cruel but if his attitude that he's gods gift to women is genuinely hurtful to you; you could always arrange a series of women in varying levels of attractiveness to flirt with him and then burn him. Women repeatedly showing interest and then rejecting a guy is the easiest way to destroy a mans ego. As I said... Its cruel.

[tommyatomic]

Basically he doesn't respect people he's being rude to. Find someone whose opinion matters to him. That's the only person he's going to listen to. Perhaps his Father or an older sibling(although he sounds like he might be an only child). Baring that a mentor, instructor, professor, co-worker,supervisor, boss but if he doesn't respect them he either isn't challenged at work or school or doesn't find the challenge worth his time. If there is no one he respects or looks up to then he can't be helped

[Anonymous]

So he sounds stupid, arrogant, obnoxious and lacking basic sense of responsibility.

Why are you with him again?

[Asker]

I ask myself that all the time...I do love him, but sometimes I think it's just the fact that we have been together so long and live together, that I know the hassle I would have to deal with...if I ever left

[Opinion Owner]

Huh OK then... Not really interested to inquire about you two any further. But good luck.

[This_is_a_complement]

Act exactly like he does. I use to date a guy similar to that and it became really annoying really quick, so I decided to show him how annoying it was by acting just like him. He's still arrogant, but not as much. It humbled him a bit.

[She-wolf]

You can show him informing him that he's a douchebag, leaving him, and never taking him back.

[aMuse]

Leave. Why are you wasting time with him. At the moment he can have you even when he treats you like that so you're confirming his view. =)

[Asker]

we've been together 5 years, he's a good person but think WAY to highly of himself. He's just really annoying me lately, I just want to know how to act towards him, what to say when he says he's "so hot" etc

[aMuse]

has he been doing the entire 5 years or is it a new behavior?

[aMuse]

I only ask because I'll push a girls boundaries like that sometimes to see how they react to it. Kind of testing how strong she is... I want to know if she respects herself, and if she can handle it in a mature way. =P

[aMuse]

I don't take it seriously... It's just they are showing crazy insecurities, and are acting like a push over, so I want them to think about it and stand up and react. =)

[aMuse]

But I'm one of those twisted Scorpios... We've got a million mind games...

[Asker]

I'm a scorpio too! lol and we do have a million mind games ha ha he has always been somewhat vvery confident in himself, which I'm not saying is a bad thing, but it's been the past few months that it's been driving me crazy! he's going overboard, and not only am I a victim in his "know it all" ways, but so are other people and it's embarrassing to have mutual friends say they can't stand his attitude anymore

[aMuse]

=) Well, then handle maturely. The root of this behavior, is that he feels he's not getting enough attention. Don't give him the attention he wants when he throws a fit (acts arrogant). Just be like "that's nice" and carry on, like it had no effect on you and treat him like any other person. When he's not being arrogant stroke his ego and make him feel good and show him you care about him. Don't reward bad behavior with what he is truly craving. Show him his fits will not get him anything.

[aMuse]

Then when he calms down and realizes it didn't work, show him you love him. After a little while the idea will catch on that fits don't work. Being nice gets me that attention I crave.

[aMuse]

Don't shut down and ignore him though. Just act unimpressed. He's just like anyone else.